I'm sorry to hear that your son is so sick eldadeetlit--I hope he recovers quickly--both for his sake and yours!!
I wanted to comment on what GouGou said about food and not having the temptation in your house... honestly--as scary as it seems--you really NEED to have all of the foods that you used to think badly of IN your house and in LARGE quantities. That way, they are always there and you can come to realize that they will always be there and that YOU have to learn to figure out when you are satisfied. For example, if you love Hershey's kisses and want to eat some, you should pour a ton into a BIG bowl and then you can eat some... if the bowl gets more than half empty, you should pour more in... the idea is that YOU and your body have to decide how much to eat--not some other preconceived notions--you need to figure out how much you need to feel satisfied... and trust me, you'll stop... because you've actually had enough -- not just because of other reasons like telling yourself you're a pig or how many calories they are or whatever-- and then you'll start realizing what needs to be done... You need to learn to trust your body to be able to do this--if you listen to your body and be mindful when you eat then it all becomes MUCh easier... You also have to give up the idea of ever doing diets or restricting your food again otherwise for it to work otherwise your mind is still thinking that the chocolate will be restricted again at some point in the future and so you should binge now when you can....
I REALLY recommend doing that exercise with the bag of 'bad' foods for a day--it REALLY helps get you started and puts things in perspective... It's absolutely amazing... Let me know if anyone tries it (I talked about it in an earlier post)
Anyway, the idea of having TONS is that you have to choose when to stop--not stopping because you had a certain serving or the bag is empty or the amount that you put in your bowl is finished... you need to have the feeling that there will ALWAYS be more and you can have more whenever you want...
Some people start off with one or two foods that were previously off limits while others bring everything that they have recently craved/labelled as off limits into the house and works on it all at once... whatever level you think you can handle but it needs to be done!! I know it all sounds scary but it really does work--I am living proof--I have not gained weight since I started doing that and I was CERTAIN that I would and I have been MUCH more satisfied around food and don't regret doing that one bit. I know that once I work through the rest of my 'issues' that food will eventually become a non-issue for me and I am SO excited as one of my counsellors has agreed to have me start seeing her every 2 weeks and not pay her until we get our feet back on the ground after moving into our new house!!!!! Isn't that amazing? I'm so excited--I start on the 29th and I'm beyond excited!
I went to bed at -- get this -- 7:30 last night and slept until about 7:30 this am!!! I was SOOO exhausted (and had been the whole afternoon), I couldn't read a book or watch tv or anything past 7 and I was craving sweet stuff but I finally realized that I shouldn't eat food to stay awake--I should listen to my body and go to sleep--even though it was 7:30!!
My body must have known a migraine was coming on as I woke up around 5 with a migraine but luckily I took medicine and was able to sleep a little more and it's mostly gone now...
Anyway, I'm definitely stressed (although feeling less stressed as I might not have to put our house on the market) about the thought of my friend buying my house--I SO want it to happen but worry that it will all fall through so my old pessimistic self doesn't want to get excited as I worry that we'll end up disappointed.
Anyway, my friend has been asking how much we would sell it for with the appliances and our huge floor to ceiling wall unit and is getting really excited--oh I SOOO hope that it will work out!! My stress level would be SOOO much lower if I didn't have to list with a realtor and having to keep the house immaculate with 3 kids, 2 dogs and 2 cats and having to leave my house all the time and find things to do with the kids! And it would be so nice if my friend bought my house as I know how much she loves it as we have put our hearts (and ALL our money!) into this house and fixing it up and we are sad about leaving of course so it would be nice to visit it once in a while!!
But no--I'm not getting excited yet hahaha!!
Hmm what else is going on... we've been working hard on getting the house ready to sell and I'm feeling really overwhelmed with all of that... my hubby's been painting and wow--what a difference paint can make! (Mostly it was just another coat of the same but we changed the bathroom color and what a difference!!)
We're also going to grab chocolate brown paint from our new house and paint our front door-it's always been this salmon pink color for some reason but we're finally going to paint it--I think it will look much nicer as our house is a cream color so I don't know why the door was salmon pink!! Hopefully chocolate brown will look much nicer!
Maggy - I'm SOOOO proud of you for opening up to your therapist!!
I['m so glad that it is feeling good for you and that your therapist has been supportive. Yay you!!
That's so interesting about your shoes--I too hope that you can learn to do the same for your body--I really feel that if you honor yourself and give yourself what you need and NOT beat yourself up about it, it will REALLY help you... However I know how hard it is to REALLY stop doing that...
Missingthetrees - can't wait to hear about your first two exercises in the Geneen Roth book--good for you for doing them!!
I have torn this house apart yet again after reading that, trying to find mine and I have NOOOO idea where the heck it could be.
I'm hoping that it will turn up really soon so I can start using it with you but please do keep going in it on your own--I will definitely encourage you on the way!! I'll see if I can get one from the library in the mean time... Glad that you posted!!
I have to say that I have had points and days where I could eat a more normal amount of a previously forbidden food and stop.... Those days I know that I am feeling good about myself, I don't have issues that are really getting to me at that moment and I am paying attention to my body and what it wants/needs. Those days/moments feel SOOOO good that it makes me want to have more of them and keeps me fighting to get 'there' again.
I did an intensive weekend therapy session last April I believe it was--it was from 10-6 on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and we would go home at night--we would go out for lunch and eat together and during the whole weekend and a few days after--I was like a whole new person. I chose things at the restaurants according to what my body wanted--they were often things that I would have told myself that I couldn't have before but I got them anyway and worked on not thinking about what others might have been thinking... I then ENJOYED them but ate very little as I was listening to my body and it really doesn't need that much food to be satisfied. I was more in tune with myself than ever and I was careful to write down my list of stressors several times a day as that checking in with myself really helped. I felt SOOO free and alive and every thing around me seemed new--it felt like I was transported into a new world where nothing bothered me, I was continually happy and had no food issues at all. My kids were cuter and funnier, I saw this certain plant that I have in my garden that I had NEVER seen ANYWHERE before in about 3 different locations --which just sort of symbolized what was happening--that everything was there before but I was too busy worrying about my body and food to realize and appreciate everything that was going on around me. How sad... and so ever since I've been wanting to work to get back into that 'zone'... However sometimes (like more recently) I work harder on that and sometimes I don't.... so I end up going many steps back... I know that if I work with all my tools that I can definitely move forward but it is a long process and it's HARD work dealing with your feelings and especially (for me) confronting people/things and so I think I often retreat back into my old patterns without even realizing it, start feeling really crappy and then start working the stuff again....
Taking the time for myself is really key and a big part that I struggle with--feeling worthy enough to give to myself rather than only others... I encourage everyone around me to do that and need to learn to believe that about myself as well... I guess it's hard because sometimes I DO give myself the time etc. but then I don't see any other moms doing the same and I feel like I'm being judged (and sometimes I definitely am as it has been vocalized to me!) because I'm taking time to myself and then it starts over again...
I was reading over some of my notes from that weekend yesterday and my counsellor says that once you work through your 'stuff' that food will just fall away and no longer be an issue.... And that couldn't be more true... I do think that I need to notice when I go to eat when I'm not hungry--not so much to change the 'pattern' (as I was thinking recently) but more to notice that there is stuff going on and try to work through that stuff which in turn will reduce my emotional food cravings and allow me to feel more balanced which causes me to eat more normally...
Does all of that make sense?? I know that I find it really hard to believe and I fall back into trying to control my eating in some fashion but I KNOW that it can be true as I've had glimpses of it before...
Anyway, I think I need to eat something so I'm going to figure out what my body wants and do just that as I need to fend off this migraine still..
Have a wonderful day ladies!