Meeting the needs of 2 (or more)?

[gret the great]

I have a 2.5 year old DS and a 3 week old dd...
Some days are great, others are tough. Playing with him is just very difficult when I have a hungry babe to care for or if she's fussy. I hate to have her needs come first all the time, but it feels that way lately. Any tips?

[geekmom]

Howdy other-Western-Massachusetter!

I see your baby was just born last month. Please give yourself a HUGE break! It will absolutely not harm your 2 1/2 year old to not get as much attention as he wants while your baby is so tiny. It won't last forever. As the baby gets older it gets much easier to pay attention to both of them at the same time. I have 4 with the youngest being 7 months and it's not as hard as with a newborn.

[2girlsmom]

When my dd#2 was born dd#1 was 21 months old. I had her "help" me as much as she could, even though that meant that everything took much longer to do. She would fetch things for me (diapers, burp cloths, baby's clothes, etc) and this made her feel like I was paying attention to her. I also had to let her hold the baby using the boppy pillow, she felt very important and close to the new baby at those times. Once the new baby was about a month old I would sometimes have to let her fuss a little before I could get to her because I didn't want to drop everyting I was doing with my older dd.

Congratulations and good luck.

Rachel

[DebraBaker]

This stage is the most exhausting for you because your older child is still needy (no need to mention the neediness of a newborn)

The newborn will start to have a more regular rhythm and become less fussy. For most of us mommies the 3 month mark is the promised land.

When the baby gets mobile (around 8 months) you will experince another type of stress because this is when the baby becomes a serious stress to your 2YO's stuff (this is when any sibling issues reared their heads in my family, our older children always adored the new baby but took issue with the older moblile baby trashing their stuff.

This is a short season and will pass. Take care of your and your children's needs as high priority letting other things go for the time being (housework, outside commitments, sex, all that stuff)
You will really start feeling more human in about six weeks (ducking)

Debra Baker

[gret the great]

Thanks

For your words of comfort. I really don't want to wish her first weeks away, as they are sooo precious, it's just a challenge! I keep reminding myself that this a choice DH and I made, and I should consider myself lucky to have two beautiful kids. DS is definitely a "helper" in his own special way and I try to include him. He nurses his doll on occasion when I nurse the baby.

Debra- Sex? What is that? My DD was almost eleven pounds and was born 3 weeks ago, so I can't even fathom sex! And yes the only laundry that seems to be getting clean are the diapers!

Geekmom-where in WMA are you? I'm in Northfield.

Thanks again everyone.

[geekmom]

I'm in Easthampton. I'm up in Greenfield all the time bringing my kids to visits at the DSS office up there. Mamacate and I spend a lot of time at Look Park with our various kids, PM us if you want to come hang out.