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January dating thread!!! - Page 3

post #41 of 172
1/5/07 at 1:38am
Thread Starter 
Boo, Hiss...Joe cancelled his date with me for tommorow, said he had to work. I'm not calling him (I left one message) if he is interested, he will call.



I find myself thinking about the guy from the other night : He is definately not relationship material...he drinks, alot...not my thing. I can't stop thinking about him though. Someone whack me on the head to force some sense into me (not very GD, but I'm asking)

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post #42 of 172
1/5/07 at 1:51am
I only use gd with the kids....lol.....WHACK:
post #43 of 172
1/5/07 at 2:17am
Well Beloved. He may drink too much but you could always CHANGE him...

bwahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahh I already tried THAT one!

Anyway, life has been grand but a lil' iffy here. I am in such a quandry about whether or not to broach the moving in together thing w/my bf. I know 5 months is really soon, but I'm really super wonderfully in love with him. I've gotta move in Feb and I'm worried about signing a lease for a year...because we daydream about planting gardens together and building studios...and my kids love him...and it's a big enough house if his roommate moved out...and I don't WANNA WAIT! I LOVE HIM!

Whew. Thanks for letting me get that out. Now. How do I get him to ask me to move in? :LOL

Keep on keepin on mamas......lovin you all
post #44 of 172
1/5/07 at 2:46am
mountain~~~~ Yippee for you!!!!!! If you really love him i say go for it!!
post #45 of 172
1/5/07 at 10:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
:Although I swear I'm going to go on one date this year. That's my goal.... just one date (well, maybe more than that but at least one). I cannot believe I've been single for over 3 years. Not a darn date in that time.
....The more I think about it the more unsure I am. I haven't dated in all of my adult life. It's been YEARS. I'm not so sure about this. I've got a whole year to get that one date done.... I don't have to do it at the beginning of the year, do I?!
Just jump in and get your feet wet Steph! I was single 3 years before dating and it was 'time'. Dating is an adventure. It helps to think that it's just meeting another person. And...it's kind of fun to be all nervous about hair and what to wear etc. etc. It reminded me that I was still alive!!!!!

And, you know, it's perfectly okay to have an online/telephone friend. If there were real sparks...from either of your perspective, you would have already met....but it's great to have male friendship, companionship, etc. Enjoy it for what it is.

Now....get out there and have a date already!!!!!
post #46 of 172
1/5/07 at 11:04am
Steph, maybe it might help to not think of it as a date? Just think of it as going out with friends - no expectations, no problems and if something comes of it - then great!

BelovedK, as someone that has had a baby with an alcoholic... I don't know how much this guy drinks but please be careful... I shouldn't say anything though, the guy I have been having the "physical" thing with has a problem with perscription drugs (I think) but I think that is over anyway. I just wasn't that into it and I think he knows it.

Melia6 - I'm so sorry. I hope everything works out for the best...
post #47 of 172
1/5/07 at 2:26pm
Wow...I can actually post on here now! I have a couple of questions...

I met a guy and we've gone out a few times (3). He's nice and I think I'd like to get to know him better. Here are my 2 concerns...

1)I have an 18 year old dd. He has not asked one question about her. I do talk about her and he seems to have listened to what I said. But it kinda bothers me that he's never asked anything about her. I would be weirded out too if he asked too much about her. It's always a fine line when it comes to the kids.

2)How soon is too soon to...ummm...well...get horizontal? We're going out tonight and I know we could be going at it in minutes if I wanted. So far today I seem to have the angel/devil on my shoulder. One part of me is saying to go for it...could be fun! The other part of me knows that I will be disappointed in myself. I don't really want a relationship based on sex...but I'm not really sure that I want a "relationship" to begin with.

Help me guys! How do I know what to do?

Also Steph...I used to tell myself I had to go on one date a year too! I was happy this year when that date happened on Jan. 2 so I could not worry about it the rest of the year! Honestly, going on those 1 dates/year...made me realize that I was happy being on my own!
post #48 of 172
1/5/07 at 9:17pm
I'm not the poster child to be saying this since I had 2 "dates" with a guy, sex both times & now we are through. Just make sure you are both on the same page and want the same out of the relationship. That is what I regret, my guy & I agreed to be "friends with benefits", but it developed in to more on both sides, but I think he was scared of taking it to the next level & commiting so that's what ended it.
post #49 of 172
1/5/07 at 9:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by momfirst View Post
2)How soon is too soon to...ummm...well...get horizontal? We're going out tonight and I know we could be going at it in minutes if I wanted. So far today I seem to have the angel/devil on my shoulder. One part of me is saying to go for it...could be fun! The other part of me knows that I will be disappointed in myself. I don't really want a relationship based on sex...but I'm not really sure that I want a "relationship" to begin with.
i love how u put it. horizontal. i am not the right person to tell u but to me ur bolded (i did it) statement is what this is all about. just think to urself and tell urself what u want out of the relationship and then proceed. i was horizontal by my second date but then i knew that's all i wanted out of it. and by the 3rd we were done.
post #50 of 172
1/5/07 at 10:30pm
OK, I'm one to analyze the crap out of things...all day I've been going back and forth. So, to those who admitted to just going for the sex...did you regret it when it ended? There's a big part of me that's not sure I could be OK with a casual sort of thing...but another part of me (that's been a stranger till now) is thinking...go for it! I was actually thinking of asking if he'd be interested in a friends with benefits sort of thing...no strings, just fun once in a while.
post #51 of 172
1/5/07 at 10:52pm
The first guy I dated after my marriage was really only a horizontal relationship. I *thought* I wanted more with him....but it was clear we really had little to talk about or anything and he clearly wasn't ready for a relationship.

I have no regrets. It was fun while it lasted.

But now I'm in a different sort of head space where I really do want someone special in my life. Because of that, I pass up a lot of free horizontal stuff with friends and old boyfriends. I just want to focus my energy on where I really want my life to be.
post #52 of 172
1/5/07 at 11:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post
I just want to focus my energy on where I really want my life to be.
: I couldn't see myself in a friends with benefits relationship. I've just never done it and have no desire. But for those who do- rock on (and be sure to fill us in on the details ).


As for me... Owen went to bed somewhat early and I feel like a new woman. I had a little fun (uhhh.... really need to put batteries on the shopping list : ), took a bath (a real bath... with bubbles that smell like chocolate.... and no kids!). And I even shaved my legs. Wow, you do not want to know how long it's been since I've done that And now I'm going to eat some yummy chocolates my mom gave me for Christmas. Ahhh... who needs a man
post #53 of 172
1/6/07 at 12:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
I'm going to eat some yummy chocolates my mom gave me for Christmas. Ahhh... who needs a man
You go girl! at the batteries comment. I was in an adult themed store on my holidays and never felt so out of place in my life.

My holidays were wonderful. Bf met my parents and he fit right in with my family. It helps that my family are alot of fun too. Not one comment by anyone about his age excpet one from my mother. She made some comment to me about down the road if I ever have more children. I felt like pulling her leg a bit so I told her Kevin and I were going to have 10 babies : . She just laughed and said you can't cuz Kevin is too old for that.
Kevin pulled out all the moves to impress my mom too. What a suck up. He took my parents, sister and I out for dinner one night to a fancy restuarant and bought my mom flowers on the day before we left. She is totally in love with him.
He really liked them too. He said that it didn't even feel like "meeting the inlaws" it felt like a real vacation.

I am so happy.

Mountain- I have been thinking about moving in with bf too. We have only been dating a short while, but everything just feels so right. He even brought it up two days ago. He pretty much stays here every night anyways....might as well be helping to pay his morgage not rent to the landlord. We will have to see what the spring brings.
post #54 of 172
1/6/07 at 9:59am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post



I find myself thinking about the guy from the other night : He is definately not relationship material...he drinks, alot...not my thing. I can't stop thinking about him though. Someone whack me on the head to force some sense into me (not very GD, but I'm asking)
So, I saw the 'guy' last night at a fire spinning gathering (he also spins fire ~~appealing~~) He all but ignored me He said Hi once, and didn't really return my hug. I feel like a stupid high school student

I don't know why I got so upset, but I did. I left early.

I feel that very soon, I will meet someone who is right for me, and good to the kids, and doesn't drink I know that the secret is to get this other guy out of my head. Joe called and we had another long conversation. It might turn out that we just become dance partners (he is a great swing dancer) We are so similar that it is uncanny.

Well, I just thought I'd share.

I know I started it, but we can't talk explicitly about sex....though I want to.
post #55 of 172
1/6/07 at 11:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by momfirst View Post
OK, I'm one to analyze the crap out of things...all day I've been going back and forth. So, to those who admitted to just going for the sex...did you regret it when it ended? There's a big part of me that's not sure I could be OK with a casual sort of thing...but another part of me (that's been a stranger till now) is thinking...go for it! I was actually thinking of asking if he'd be interested in a friends with benefits sort of thing...no strings, just fun once in a while.

I regret getting too emotionally envolved, had I kept my emotions in check, I think we could still be having lots of fun.
post #56 of 172
1/6/07 at 1:03pm
Well ladies I got a HUGE smack in the face last night.... Out of nowhere dp said we should break up due to distance....we only live 40 minutes away....WTF?!?!:
I guess the m/c was the universe doing it's job... But I am gonna fight my a22 off for this..........
post #57 of 172
1/6/07 at 2:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sahmof2girls View Post
Well ladies I got a HUGE smack in the face last night.... Out of nowhere dp said we should break up due to distance....we only live 40 minutes away....WTF?!?!:
I guess the m/c was the universe doing it's job... But I am gonna fight my a22 off for this..........
I'm so sorry to hear that, I was in the same boat, the guy that I had been talking to before Jesse lived about 45 min away (well so did Jesse), but he thought that was too far, yet he still talked to me like he wanted to get together, then since I was with Jesse that guy thinks I'm a whore now & won't give me the time of day.
post #58 of 172
1/6/07 at 3:38pm
Hugs to you sahmof2girls.

I know it is tough when we really like someone...but if a little stress is more than he can handle it is better to know this now than much later when everyone is more deeply involved. I empathize with how it feels when someone we really care for decides they cannot continue the relationship because they are not emotionally ready for what is involved. It still sucks though!
post #59 of 172
1/6/07 at 3:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
we just become dance partners (he is a great swing dancer)
That is so funny. The other day, driving home, while listening to a new 'big band' cd I got, I said, "Oh, and could this guy I meet like dancing! I'd love to dance to swing music with him!!!"
post #60 of 172
1/7/07 at 12:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post
That is so funny. The other day, driving home, while listening to a new 'big band' cd I got, I said, "Oh, and could this guy I meet like dancing! I'd love to dance to swing music with him!!!"
well a third one. listening to new music and dancing by myself this afternoon i thought to myself maaan i am tired of dancing alone (my ex refused to dance). or with girlfriends. even if he wont dance in public i woudl just love to share my passion of dance with my partner. i dont care if he is a bad dancer (i have two left feet). i just want someone with a passion for dancing.
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