It's 2007, November '05 Mamas!!! - Page 9

[*Amy*]

Ugghh, Spughy. That is so rough. I hope your boobs stay with the program and don't give you any grief tomorrow. I don't think Brynn is getting her molars yet, but everyone says it is a nightmare. I'm definitely looking forward to that! (Shyah)

So last night went pretty well for us. She ended up sleeping in the pack 'n play for 3 1/2 hours, which is pretty rare for her! She woke up at 1:00am and I just brought her in bed with me for the rest of the night. I really did intend to take her into her room to nurse but I just couldn't make myself do it! She did wake up several more times during the night, and of course wanted the boobs...but I did see her once trying to get back to sleep on her own. She tried repositioning herself for about 5 minutes, and then gave up and signed for milk. I still feel like we've made progress though, and I am going to keep on with the plan! Thank you to the mamas with the kind words and support. It does mean a lot to me.

Unfortunately, she took a really late nap today (fell asleep at 3:00), so she's STILL sleeping, 2.5 hours later. I'm about to go try to wake her up so that she isn't running around til 11:00pm because I didn't get to even try to take a nap today. Our downstairs heater broke AGAIN, so it's freezing downstairs. Thank goodness this house has two furnaces, so we can at least stay upstairs (and our bedroom is upstairs), but man, it's annoying as hell to have this happen again. I will be so glad to move out of this house!

My fingers are freezing, but I did want to say that I went to a baby shower yesterday and one of my "friends" here in town told us all that she is going to leave her 5-month old with her MIL and FIL so that she and her husband can go to New York city for a "date" - they are leaving the baby for 2 nights and 3 days. And, the baby has only met this set of grandparents twice since he's been born. I just feel so sad for this sweet babe. His mom is about as detached as you can get! I was just biting my tongue the whole time she was telling us, "Well, I just really need this right now," blah blah blah.

[flapjack]

Nice. Real nice. Luckily Brynn knows that her mummy loves her. I hope you get the heating thing sorted out somehow.
Spughy, I'm sending you disciplined boobie vibes. They WILL do what they're told in time, honest.
Skye, bless her, is a little star who just gets on with things. She's not talking quite as much as she was a couple of weeks ago, maybe, but I figure it'll come back when she's ready.

[spughy]

It's definitely the tooth waking Rowan up. Last night she slept in 3 or 2 hour chunks and really didn't want much in the way of boobies when she woke. I had PLENTY of milk though, so way less stress for me there. DH took her for the last part of the night (after she woke at 3) and she woke up at 5 but he was able to get her back to sleep - he offered her a bottle but she wasn't having anything to do with it. So, she's teething and going through a crappetite phase - we just have to live with it. Thank all the baby gods that ever existed that this is happening NOW and not a week ago when I was in gobs of pain on top of it all.

Amy, that's horrible about that poor little baby. And people wonder why kids grow up to be juvenile delinquents. Honestly. I have to feel kind of sorry for the mama though, she must have some kind of emotional issues somewhere that prevent her from bonding with the baby. I think that kind of detachment is something you actually have to work at.

[spughy]

Oh and I forgot to mention that Rowan has officially entered toddlerdom - she is now refusing to try food, as the mood suits her. Formerly she would try everything and just take it out of her mouth if she didn't like it. As of yesterday, she refused everything she didn't recognize. Except the waffles we had for breakfast yesterday. She scarfed those down pretty happily.

[spiritmomma]

Hey ladies... I tried to respond last night, but the server was busy and I couldn't wait to get into my bed...
*Amy* I hope the sleep troubles are getting better. It's stressful on everyone in the fam isn't it?

Saturday was effen HORRIBLE at our house. I was going through one of those days were I didn't get much sleep the night before, Isa wanted to nurse every 15 minutes on top of everytime she stumbled, tripped, or bonked (which was frequent since she was tired too...) and I just had a complete melt-down. : I cried and cried and when Joshua asked to take Isa on a drive to help her calm down and sleep, I reacted fiercely a la protective-mammal-don't-touch-my-young-you-beast! kind of way. It was NOT a pretty scene.
I eventually surrendered her, realizing I was too angry and out of control to help her feel comforted. She was sobbing in such a way that every time she took a deep inhale, she bit me : which because I was already on a super microscopic fuse, did not sit well with me. I was not compassionate. So he took her for a drive and I stayed home and cried. Then I cried some more. Then I walked around the house, decided that without Isa my life has no purpose and sulked back into a long cry. Then, for the first time in at least a year, I made some art. The drawing is beautiful and really captures how I felt about my relationship to my daughter at that particular moment. She is rooted in me. I am the earth, and she is the new budding of spring. We are in symbiosis, but it doesn't always feel that way.
Sunday was better. And last night, we made great headway into night weaning. Isa was up, sort of doing a sleepy-wimper protest from 3 am to about 4:45. But I only nursed her for 15 minutes last night after the initial nurse to sleep. We nursed as long as she wanted to this morning, and I found that I've been much more willing to nurse today. I didn't get a TON of sleep, but I got enought to be in a good mood. Sunday, it snowed so much that church was cancelled so we pretty much stayed home all day. It was kind of a lovely slow day. We all needed it.

Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry this is so long winded. I just needed to get it off my chest.

[*Amy*]

Oh Jaymi. Sounds like you really hit rock bottom, Mama. That is *so* hard. At least Joshua was there to try to give you a helping hand. Your drawing sounds amazing. Is there any way you can share it with us? I would love to see it. I hope you are feeling more centered today. I keep forgetting you are just down the road from us; we got a lot of snow yesterday, and it's been snowing off and on today too. It's pretty outside.

My good news is that our downstairs furnace is fixed, so we have heat all throughout the house again. Yay! Man, it is amazing how much we westerners take things like that for granted. I was all complainy about having to stay upstairs for most of the day yesterday, and then I started thinking about refugees in Afghanistan who were living in tents while it was -10 degrees. So yeah, we're not in danger of frostbite or anything. But it is nice to have a working heater!

In sleeping news, we did the bedtime routine again last night, and even though she wasn't tired til 10:00pm (I was about ready to fall asleep while reading bedtime stories), I put her in the P'nP after she nursed, and she cried for ---- drumroll, please ------ 10 seconds! I was totally amazed. She tried to fall asleep with her head on the rail again, but I only had to ask her once if she wanted to lay down and let me rub her back. She signed yes, so I helped her lay down, rubbed her back for all of 30 seconds, and she was *out*. I had to sit there with my jaw on the floor for a minute! Anyway, she slept for 2 hours before her first waking up, which wasn't as great as the first night. But I'll take it! I did get out of bed twice to nurse her last night, and then I gave up on that again. It's so hard when she wakes up like 4 times to get up *every* damn time. But I'm going to keep trying. Anyway, I think I am going to either make or buy some cute pillowcases for her so that she has something in the PnP that will make her happy. She's really into butterflies right now, so I might order these. It would probably be super easy to just find some cute butterfly fabric though, and cheaper to make them myself. So we'll see.

OK, so what do y'all think about this? An aquaintance of ours here in town just emailed the Mama group to let us know that her 9-month old has chicken pox, and said if we want to come over and let our kids play with his toys, she's happy to pass on the germs. Would any of you do it? I mean, I would hate to deal with a chicken pox baby, but it is much milder at this age than if they get it later (especially as teens or adults), and I definitely don't plan to get her the vaccine. I'm on the fence about it.

And, lastly, as if this post isn't long enough already, I wanted to paste up something that made me laugh. I was looking up baby names, and found this site that has downloadable ringtones for almost every common name. Here are the ones for Amy, so you should see if they have the ones for your name. They are pretty funny; I think I'm going to download one.


PS: Fern, Aubrey, Michelle, and other MIA Mamas - where are y'all?

[flapjack]

Jaymi. It sounds like a deeply healing day, but something you could have lived without. FWIW, we have days like that around here all the time (but not with Skye.)
Amy, feel free to disagree with me but I don't see any reason for a healthy child to contract every illness just to build up immunity. It's not compulsory to catch EVERYTHING, just like there's no need to be immunised against everything. Given your need for Brynn to sleep, leave chicken pox be until she comes up against it naturally. (And vaccination against cp? How whack is that?????)

[*Amy*]

Helen, your post made me laugh! I agree with you; I'm just worried that with 95% of parents giving their kids the CP vax these days, her chance of being naturally exposed to it is far less than it was back when we were kids. KWIM? And if one doesn't contract CP as a child or young adult, you run a much higher risk of developing shingles as an older person, which is much more dangerous and painful, from what I understand.

But you make an excellent point. Sleep first, and we'll cross the chicken pox bridge when we come to it!

[spughy]

Ok, Helen, cyber-whack me if you want, but we did get Rowan vaccinated for CP. I was against it initially, but Amy's point about "all the other kids are doing it" was what swayed me. It is very common around here for kids to get vaccinated for CP and I didn't want Rowan to get a severe case or, heaven forbid, shingles. DH has had shingles (in his 20s - and it is not inconceivable that without the vaccine, Rowan could go that long without being exposed) and gets outbreaks if he is under a lot of stress. It is frighteningly painful and just a horrible, horrible illness.

Anyway, I couldn't find any convincing research that there were any heinous risks to the CP vaccine used here, and while I had a pretty mild case as a child, I know some families go through hell for a month or more while it runs its course through their kids. I chose to avoid that particular hell. There will be others, I'm sure.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Popping in to say hi!

And Amy, I would totally do the CP exposure, as long as you're not planning any big trips soon. I have the seven year old still unvaxed and we've only had ONE chance of exposure (unfortunately, last fall, right before a trip to Hawaii, so no go there). I would be all over that. It is very rare to get the opportunity anymore, even in the crunch-crunch NW. I will get her vaxed at 12 if she hasn't been exposed yet. Man, I hope it comes around again.

I have a friend whose daughter had it at around 18 months and she said it was much easier on that daughter than the 5 year old.

And, everyone else, Hi! Nothing much up here. I lost my funny bone a few months ago and can't find it. How much pathos can life entail, indeed?

[*Amy*]

Hey FSM!! Good to see you around, Mama. You make a good point about CP, too.

OK, quick Night 3 Update: regular bedtime routine, she nursed til she was drowsy and then I carried her into the room and said, "time to get into your bed." Her eyes were open and I laid her down on the pillow; she sat back up but DID NOT CRY, didn't even whimper, and I said, "Would you like me to rub your back?" and this time she laid back down on her own - no help from me! I rubbed her back, with her eyes still open, and she was asleep within a minute. Hallelujah, I say.

Oh, and DH had 5 (or 6?) interviews today, and the two jobs that he likes the most are in Dallas. I wouldn't mind so much, but that's where my very annoying MIL lives. I almost think I'd rather that he take one of the other jobs in either Detroit or Kalamazoo Michigan, just so we're not in the same damn city as her. How bad is that??!

I'm goin to bed!

[DreamsInDigital]

Amy it sounds like you're making real progress! Awesome!

[SoulJourney]

Sorry I've been MIA! I promise I've been reading, it's just been crazy hectic around here and Noah hasn't allowed me much opportunity to post a ton.: He is currently running around like a crazy loon in the play area while I type this post. Did I mention it's almost 10pm???!!! He has been staying up SO late these days. I know that part of the problem is that he naps until @#*%*@ 7pm through the week. There is nothing I can do about it, either. I am done nannying at 6pm each night. Usually he has napped for up to an hour right before we leave, then he ends up sleeping in the car on the way home. I really don't know how to fix this situation. I would love to make some changes, though, because it doesn't allow ME any down time at night. I can't really complain too much b/c I am fortunate enough to have a babe who sleeps through the night 95% of the time and who also cosleeps wonderfully.

Remember I told you guys about my sister's vasculitis? Well, after blood tests and a biopsy, it turns out it is not doing any organ or tissue damage and they can't pinpoint a cause. The doctor actually told her that it's VERY possible this is immunization damage. She had a tetanus shot a few years ago and this has been going on for over two years. When she was young, she reacted badly to the DTP and could not receive the boosters. After that, she had a strand of really scary health issues. SO...since the topic of immunizations has been brought up, I just want to stand on my soapbox for a moment and tell you all to pay really close attention to family history of reactions because it really does matter.

That being said, Amy, if you weren't so stressed out with sleep issues as it is, I would tell you to jump on the Chicken Pox! I agree with Helen to a point, but like FSM said, cases of chicken pox are becoming few and far between so it would be nice to grab the chance if you think you could handle the additional stress. If I had the opportunity right now, I'm pretty sure I'd do it.

Spiritmomma: I'm sooooo sorry you had a rough weekend. You know you can call me anytime you need anything. Noah would be more than happy to keep little Isa occupied for a while so you could nap or something!

Oh, and one more note, then I'm off to bed! I went to the eye doctor Saturday and I need glasses for the first time in my life! *sigh* So this is what kids do to your body? Oh well, at least they're only for night driving, reading, knitting and such. At least they're cute, too!

Night night y'all!

[flyingspaghettimama]

Helen, do you not have the CP vax in the UK? Is it uncommon? I know very, very few people here who haven't done it.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Originally Posted by *Amy*

In sleeping news, we did the bedtime routine again last night, and even though she wasn't tired til 10:00pm (I was about ready to fall asleep while reading bedtime stories), I put her in the P'nP after she nursed, and she cried for ---- drumroll, please ------ 10 seconds! I was totally amazed. She tried to fall asleep with her head on the rail again, but I only had to ask her once if she wanted to lay down and let me rub her back. She signed yes, so I helped her lay down, rubbed her back for all of 30 seconds, and she was *out*. I had to sit there with my jaw on the floor for a minute! Anyway, she slept for 2 hours before her first waking up, which wasn't as great as the first night. But I'll take it! I did get out of bed twice to nurse her last night, and then I gave up on that again. It's so hard when she wakes up like 4 times to get up *every* damn time. But I'm going to keep trying. Anyway, I think I am going to either make or buy some cute pillowcases for her so that she has something in the PnP that will make her happy. She's really into butterflies right now, so I might order these. It would probably be super easy to just find some cute butterfly fabric though, and cheaper to make them myself. So we'll see.

OK, so what do y'all think about this? An aquaintance of ours here in town just emailed the Mama group to let us know that her 9-month old has chicken pox, and said if we want to come over and let our kids play with his toys, she's happy to pass on the germs. Would any of you do it? I mean, I would hate to deal with a chicken pox baby, but it is much milder at this age than if they get it later (especially as teens or adults), and I definitely don't plan to get her the vaccine. I'm on the fence about it.

Jaymi- I would really love to see your art if you posted it

*Amy* - it sounds like the whole bedtime thing is really starting to work for your family. Yay! And I would totally be on the CP party bandwagon

[Queen of Cups]

The CP vax is on the required list in my state for starting school, so you have to go through the whole exemption PITA to avoid it, which is especially difficult if you selectively vax, because then you can't claim you're morally opposed to vaxes since you've done some of them. But, if your child has had a "documented" case of CP - confirmed by a doctor - then they don't have to have the vax to start school. I'm looking for chicken pox right now! Luckily, there's a big catholic population around here and a lot don't vax, so it comes through this area every few months. I turned it down last time it came through my local AP playgroup because Ellie was only 5 or 6 months old, and I'd heard that when little babies get it its often so mild they don't have lifelong immunity.

[MelW]

All of this talk about sleep is making my google ads show sleeping pills and sleep remedies!

And if anyone wants to make me feel good about our approach to sleep, you can tell me your stories of "I did nothing at all to encourage my child to sleep through the night and eventually they just did it on their own". I'm not ready to invest the effort into "fixing" her sleep pattern, so continue to night nurse every one to two hours through the night, with the occasional refreshing three or four hour stretch every week or two. If I had read this post a year ago I'd be totally depressed- but somehow we keep on keeping on :

spughy~ have you looked into lecithin (sp?) for your plugged duct issues? It came up at a LLL meeting, and one woman swore that it cured her recurrent problem with plugged ducts/mastitis.

We haven't vaxed for CP, nor are we actively looking for it. The vax rate is low enough here that Neela could maybe pick it up around town, but I feel like intentional exposure is too strange for us. Not to mention the hassle of childcare for a sick child now that I'm working.

FSM~ Good to see you! I hope your funny bone returns soon

[flapjack]

We don't have the chicken pox vaccine over here at all, not even privately. It hasn't been licensed as safe. If it's really that hard to come into contact with, Amy, and you can cope with another three weeks of no sleep then I'd grab the chance and go bring that little boy home to live with you for a few days. Better still, I'd get the names and addresses of the kids who are doing this playdate and get them round for tea next week and the week after, before their spots are out and they're good and infectious.
(Incubation period is 14-21 days, iirc, and the presence of spots means that the body is working on antibodies and the child is getting better. So for best results, you want to catch a child who's been in contact and is at that whingy, clingy stage but hasn't yet got spots. Be prepared for it to be nasty though, and get some clean knee socks to use as scratch mitts.
And I'll apologise to everyone who has vaxed against CP- like I said, it seems like such a weird thing to do from our perspective. It goes round infant schools every so often.
Just another good reason to come and visit me

[DreamsInDigital]

Helen, we don't vaccinate at all, but even if I did choose some of them, chickenpox would not be on my list.

[SoulJourney]

Originally Posted by MelW

And if anyone wants to make me feel good about our approach to sleep, you can tell me your stories of "I did nothing at all to encourage my child to sleep through the night and eventually they just did it on their own". I'm not ready to invest the effort into "fixing" her sleep pattern, so continue to night nurse every one to two hours through the night, with the occasional refreshing three or four hour stretch every week or two. If I had read this post a year ago I'd be totally depressed- but somehow we keep on keeping on :

Here you go...I did nothing at all to encourage Noah to sleep through the night and he did it on his own! Glad, too. Sleep issues are a deal breaker for me!