Problem with ds's penis- is this normal?

[Wabi Sabi]

I've posted before about how my 2 yr. old ds seems to experience painful/uncomfortable erections. He cries "Penis too tight! Hurts Mommy!" over and over. He is not yet retractable, so I just thought that this was some normal discomfort during the separation process and that it would get better over time.

Unfortunately, it is only getting worse. Yesterday he had an erection that wouldn't go away for over 30 minutes. The entire time he just wailed and had tears rolling down his face while he kept telling me that it hurt.

I noticed that while he has an erection his foreskin is indeed stretched very tightly over the head of his penis- stretched so tightly that it seems like his penis is crooked/bent. I took a closer look at it yesterday while he was in so much distress and observed that the foreskin opening is not much larger than a pin head. Really, it is just a tiny opening. I really don't see how the foreskin will ever be able to slide back over the glans when the opening is so minuscule. It also seems like because it is so tight and the opening is so small that it is preventing his penis from fully being able to extend while erect, therefore the crooked/bent look.

Is this typical? Will the opening enlarge over time? Or, is this atypical and do we need to do something about it? It just breaks my heart to hear him cry so hard whenever this happens- which lately has been at least a couple times a day.

Please reassure me that this is totally normal...thanks.

[Quirky]

I think it will get better over time. But obviously it's not fun right now!

Was he retracted prematurely at all? Is there any possibility that it could be abnormal scar tissue from premature retraction?

You might consider emailing Dr. Paul Fleiss (one of the most foreskin-friendly peds out there) and asking his advice. His email is [e-mail]. You could also contact Marilyn Milos ([e-mail]) and see if she has any thoughts. It might be possible that a steroid cream to help with the loosening process might be appropriate if the painful erections don't let up, but that is a step I would only take if the foreskin experts thought it was appropriate (i.e. not just a mainstream ped).

[pdx.mothernurture]

The foreskin's opening, the preputial sphincter is designed to be snug/tight/narrow during infancy and early childhood to allow urination while protecting the urinary opening (meatus) and keeping foreign material out. Normally, by puberty, the skin will loosen and become more stretchy. The opening isn't too tight so long as he can pee okay.

As to the discomfort with erections and the bent penis, perhaps some other posters will be able to offer helpful advice. (((Hugs)))

Jen

[Wabi Sabi]

Originally Posted by Quirky

Was he retracted prematurely at all? Is there any possibility that it could be abnormal scar tissue from premature retraction?

No-that definitely has not happened. He was born at home and therefore never left my sight as a newborn, and at doctor's appointments our doctor has never messed with his penis at all.

You might consider emailing Dr. Paul Fleiss (one of the most foreskin-friendly peds out there) and asking his advice. His email is [e-mail]. You could also contact Marilyn Milos ([e-mail]) and see if she has any thoughts. It might be possible that a steroid cream to help with the loosening process might be appropriate if the painful erections don't let up, but that is a step I would only take if the foreskin experts thought it was appropriate (i.e. not just a mainstream ped).

Thanks for the contact info. I'll wait and see what other kind of responses I get here, but I'll certainly keep the contact info in case we end up needing it.

[Galatea]

Ds2's penis has always looked like this. He is too little for erections, but I'll be interested to hear the answers.

[Lula's Mom]

They're never too little for erections! They get them in utero. My ds has had them since birth. I guess some boys have them more than others, or maybe I see it more because we EC? (Sorry, I am not laughing at you, it just tickled me the way you worded that. Hee!)

OP, there are a couple of things that sound a little off... first is the duration of your son's erection. I think that is unusual for a little kid, but maybe someone else will weigh in with different experience? I've seen a million of 'em on my little guy, but they disappear in a couple of minutes, tops. Did you maybe try an icy washcloth on it, to see if it would go down?

The other is the bending of the penis. That could be just because he's not retractable and there just isn't anyplace for all that penis to go, but I do wonder if there's anything else going on, because again, I haven't seen the bending or heard others mention it.

The one thing I would not worry about is how big or small his foreskin opening is at this point- that is normal. It loosens when it's time to.

If I were you I would not hesitate to contact Marilyn Milos and Paul Fleiss for their opinions on it. I'm sure they'll be very happy to help you.

[Mommiska]

I think I would also contact either Dr. Fleiss or Marilyn Milos about this. The tiny opening you describe (as others have said) is totally normal.

But agree with Lula's Mom about the rest...I haven't seen too many erections on my ds (he's age 3), but the ones that I have seen certainly haven't bothered him at all. What you are describing, with your son having lengthy erections and it being so painful, really doesn't sound right to me.

But again - I would check with Dr. Fleiss or Marilyn Milos and NOT a mainstream ped.

[mama_at_home]

I don't have much to add, either. I agree with everyone else that suggested writing Dr. Fleiss and getting his imput. I think a 30 minute erection does sound very unusual, especially since it was painful for him. My little guy has been getting erections pretty much since birth but they only last a few seconds or at the most a minute or 2. I hope you get some answers and hopefully he will outgrow this phase very soon.

[QueenOfThePride]

Sorry, but this doesn't sound OK to me either. If it were my son, I'd take him to see an educated doctor. You can contact Doctors Opposing Circumcision for a referral in your area. A 30 minute erection sounds really wrong for a 2 year old, as well as the bent penis. DS's only last about a minute and they don't hurt, bend, or make the foreskin look tight.

[calngavinsmom]

Hi there, sorry to hear about your ds troubles. I agree that while a foreskin with a small opening at that age is perfectly normal, a 30 minute painful erection is not.

My younger ds has a shorter foreskin than my older son and when he gets erections, the skin is pulled taunt and his opening is smaller than the head of a pin. His erections don't cause him pain however, he just tells me "Mommy, my penis is too big" I'm sure he won't think that in a few years

My older guy always had some slack so I didn't ever see the opening until he showed me the "purple thing" in his penis(he was fully retracting)at about age 4 and a half.

It is my understanding that for the foreskin to become retractile, two things have to happen, the opening has to relax and enlarge and the foreskin has to detatch from the head. It sounds like maybe your son is starting to get some detatchment of the forskin(maybe explaining the pain) but that the opening has not enlarged yet.

If I were you, I would maybe want to get the pain and bending (and the duration) of the erections checked out, but would keep in mind that the foreskin opening being small is normal for your ds' age.

Good luck to you guys!
Tara

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

The tight foreskin sounds very normal to me. When my ds has a erection it definatly pulls it very tight. Like the pp's have said the pin size opening is normal because it is a sphincter like the anus it opens when it needs to then tightly closes back down again.

The bending could be from a tight frenulum but since he is not retractable there is no way to know for sure. Does the bend happen downward or upward?? If it is downward then I would think frenulum. There is nothing that can be done about that at all till he is retractable. Then if it is a problem he can have zig zag cuts made into the frenulum to loosen it up. This does result in some feeling loss but not nearly as bad as a circ would be.

The 30 min erection I have no idea about. I dont know how long ds's lasts because I change his diaper and let it be. It does sound a bit long tho. I would definatly consider called Dr. Fleiss or Marilyn Milos it cant hurt and it may save you a trip to a Dr. who dosnt know diddly about the intact penis.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I just spoke to dh about it lasting so long and he mentioned that if he is grabbing at in because of the pain that could be causing it to stay since any stimulation when it is like that tends to makes the penis want to stay erect.

If it happens again I would immediatly get him a cold wash cloth to apply and encourage him to not touch it when it hurts. I know way easier said than done.

[Fi.]

A 30 minute erection is not really normal, I'd at least get that checked out.

I do know that many boys though, cut or not, have painful erections as children. It's just part of growing.