Hi Lauren, I commend you for investigating this before you get pregnant.
Like others have said, he is the one that wants to DO something, so ask him to convince you WHY it should be done. None of the reasons are valid and can be easily debunked (just ask here if you need help
) and no medical association in the world recommends routine infant circumcision. So asking your DH to give you a compelling reason can't backfire - no compelling reasons exist. Win-win!
It's long, but I'm going to post the spiel I've posted on other discussion boards regarding circ. Feel free to use anything from it, and this board in general is a wonderful resource. That article that Mommiska posted is really good for you to read, and the Penn & Teller is pretty good for your dh to start with.
My pasted spiel (if it seems like some of it is answering a question, it probably was...it's just easier to paste everything).
Not my body, not my choice. I would not ever, ever risk messing with my son's sexuality. Routine Infant Circumcision was perpetuated in this country as a means to reduce pleasure of the penis, to cut down on masturbation and sexuality. That right there was enough reason for me to NOT do it. So many "sexual problems" between couples that are regarded as normal...painful, sore sex, dryness, loss of penile sensation as a man ages...these are all things that can be attributed to circumcision, as the head of the penis keratinizes (almost like scar tissue). The glans is supposed to be an internal organ. Imagine your urethral opening totally exposed, rubbing against your underwear every day.
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Dr's do not know where to cut - it's guess work at best. If they take too much, they can end up with buried penis syndrome, curved penis, hair on the shaft of the penis, and painful erections (I was with a cut guy once who's skin would actually SPLIT). Cut too loose, and the remaining foreskin tries to heal and reattach to the glans, resulting in adhesions and possibly more surgery. It's been said here several times that dr's often "stimulate" the baby to erection to get an idea of where to cut during erection, the shape of the head of the penis is visible through the foreskin).
When I saw Cully after he was born, the practice seemed even more barbaric to me...they have to first insert an instrument to separate the foreskin from the glans (and remember, the skin is FUSED, like a fingernail to your nail bed).
I also saw a video of a circ being done, a medical one on a hospital website. I got to the part where they separated the foreskin - the sound that came out of that baby was the worst thing I've ever heard. I was pregnant, I literally ran to the bathroom and threw up. I have never been able to watch the video all the way through.
More and more dr's are aware of the complications of tight circs (seen in a lot of 1970s babies), so they are doing them looser and looser, so many circed babies don't even look circed.
I've been with intact and circed...circed men seem to have no feeling in the head of their penis. Intact men have LOTS of feeling. Circing almost always removes the frenulum, which most intact men will tell you is a very nice thing to have. Some of the men on this board can pipe up about that.
One thing that is a very common misconception in the US is that you have to clean underneath the foreskin. Many parents think circing is cleaner for this reason. THIS IS NOT TRUE. According to the AAP, you never, ever, ever allow anyone but the owner of said penis to retract it, and you NEVER wash underneath it. This is what causes infections. The foreskin is fused to the glans, and commonly doesn't separate until puberty. Leave it alone until then. I've slapped a dr's hand away for "just wanting to take a look". They don't need to take a look in a healthy baby girl's vagina, and they don't need to take a look underneath the foreskin, especially if the baby isn't having any problem peeing or anything like that. It's a self-cleansing organ, you just leave it alone. When they become retractable (and only the boy should be the one to test this) then you teach them to "retract & swish" with plain water. Soap is as irritating to the glans as it is to a vagina.
The circ rate is dropping everywhere. Usually, the rates are released around April for the previous year...they have yet to be releases for 2005. I believe this is because the rates are so low. There is a LOT of money in circumcision, in cosmetic companies, and primarily beiogenetics companies. The hospitals/drs "donate" them to companies that use them for skin grafting techniques (Apligraf is the name brand of the most common one). I didn't believe this when I first heard it, so I ended up paying for a bunch of actual abstract studies regarding human foreskin and these biogenesis companies...I was disgusted and am convinced that $$ is the sole reason this practice is allowed to continue today. One company I paid for abstracts from said that one single "human infant preputial tissue" could be used to create $750,000 worth of engineered tissue. The company also quoted it's "preputial tissue applications" as $1.2 billion/yr business.
The pain factor was the initial reason I didn't want to do it, the rest of it I researched over time. I told Alex it would be over my dead body that Cully would be cut, and I meant it.
Infants circed with EMLA (that numbing cream) show cortisol levels that are outrageously high, enough to put an adult into a coma (and those babies that "fall asleep" are usually in shock). It can mess with breastfeeding, bonding, and it increases risk of infection (an open wound in a dirty diaper?).
There is no good reason to circ, and 1000 reasons not to.
Anyway...we've never had any problem with Cully's penis/foreskin. Poop doesn't get in there, it's easy to clean (just wipe it like a finger). As far as "not looking like daddy", we will simply explain that when Daddy was a baby, dr's thought it was healthier, and now we know it isn't.
One more thing...it can always be done as an adult, but it can't be undone. If your friend does a google search for "foreskin restoration" there are literally hundreds of thousands of men who are trying to restore their foreskin, to undo some of the damage and regain feeling and sensitivity. I would rather my son have the option to have the surgery done, as a fully informed adult with adequate anesthesia and pain relief, rather than have to try to restore something that never should've been taken from him in the first place.
1. Regarding circ's "having to be done" at a later age...that's because dr's in this country are cut happy. Issues that could be easily solved by other methods aren't even bothered with, they just circ. Recurring UTIs? Circ. I'm glad they just give a woman antibiotics rather than just cut off some of my labia.
Yeast infections? Chop it off. Can you imagine if a doctor recommended that to a woman? Besides, most of the infections you hear about are CAUSED by doctors or parents that are retracting the foreskin to clean under it, which is HARMFUL. The foreskin is attached to the glans like a fingernail is attached to the fingertip. ripping it apart repeatedly causes it to tear and, guess what, get infected. If people would just leave the damned thing alone, it would be fine.
2. "He has a penis, it's his decision". Yes, the father may have a penis, but he doesn't have intact genitals. I do.
3. My dh is circed, but he didn't want ds circed after I talked to him about it. I told him he would have to pry the baby out of my cold dead hands if he had insisted, and he believed me. Marriage is a partnership, this is true. But I will not bargain with, or appease someone with a part of my child's body. Getting it done means it can never be undone. Yes, as an adult he could restore, but it's not the same thing. He can always get it done as an adult. Honestly, if my husband had been dead set on having it done, it would've destroyed our marriage and he would've had to take me to court over it. To me, it's tantamount to sexual abuse, and I would never allow my husband to insist I circumcise my daughter....and I think my son is worthy of the same protection.
4. It is NOT a parent's decision to make for their son. That son will one day grow to become an adult, and those are HIS GENITALS you are messing with. His sex organs! No one, NO ONE but him has any right hacking off any single piece of his sex organ, not for any reason. It's not cleaner, it's not healthier, and I would not take the smallest risk of altering my son's future sex life for what is purely cosmetic surgery (even according to the AAP). The "parent's decision" really really makes me mad. No parent owns their childs genitals.
5. Pain during infant circumcision isn't the main factor for me. The fact that dr's still perform it without pain killers makes me want to throw up (have you ever seen a circ? I watched a video while I was pregnant, and I had to turn it off, and run to the bathroom to throw up. To this day, I have nightmares about the sound that came from that baby when they separated his foreskin from his glans), and is nothing short of torture...but putting that aside...it's a human rights issue, simply. No one has the right to make such a personal decision for another human being. Parentship does not mean ownership. It's not up to a parent to alter their son surgically so that he matches their cultured ideals of what makes an "attractive penis".
. Thanks for all the great advise already! Is there anything else anyone can think of?
The bathroom is a great place to leave info. If he is anything like my dh there is no such thing as a quck trip to the bathroom 
