My two year old and his half-sister

[skyryma]

Hi, mamas

I am wondering if anyone else has experience with this. My step-daughter is 11 (she was 9 when ds was born) and she absolutely adores her little brother. She's with us every other weekend, Fri evening through Sunday and holidays. Now that ds is getting older, he's getting really attached to her and misses her when she's gone. He talks about her often ("Jordy at school, Mama?" "Want Jordy back at my house"). We usually tell him his sister is at school, but that's going to seem silly to him after a while. I told him she has two houses, and I'm afraid he'll want to go to her other house someday! (Dh's ex does not like us at all, in fact, we were at my step-daughter's open house and she completely ignored us, even this adorable curly-headed 2 yo jumping all over her daughter!) Any suggestions or similar experiences?

Thank you!
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Gentle, mama to Sky 3/12/03 honorary mama to Jordyn 9/23/91

[khrisday]

I don't have any experience, but my gut instinct is just to tell him a very simplified version of the truth- she lives with her mom at her mom's house when she's not at your house. I am sure he will ask more questions as he gets older, but saying she's at aschool sees like it would just lead to confusion.

[singermom]

Truth is best...

I agree with Khrisday. A simple, straightforward but true answer is the best. That is what has worked the best for us (my sd is now 17, was 14 when dd#1 was born). When dd asks where Sarah her sister is, we say she is with her Mommy, and sometimes reinforce the message that the girls have different Mommies, but the same Daddy.

You are SOOOO lucky that your children get along and love each other so much...my sd has never taken to my children at all, and it causes all sorts of problems. At this point, sd is not around much, so it is less of an issue, but it just tears my dh to bits that his whole family can't be in the same room with each other. But that is another story for another time.

Good luck!

Mia

[skyryma]

Thank you both for your thoughts. I guess I am underestimating my son's ability to understand. This morning, we got into the car and ds said, "Less go get Jordy!" and I told him we'll go get her in three days. He said, "Ok Mommy", and that was that! When he's a little older, he can talk to her on the phone and write her letters, so maybe it won't be too hard for him. And yes, I am very grateful that the kids get along! It was my sd who kept asking for a baby brother, so it worked out well!