Hi, I'm relatively new to MDC and new to the adoption forum. I'm a little initimidated to post here, as you all seem so experienced and knowledgable-- I hope I don't say something wrong...
I have been feeling a strong "calling", if you will, to adopt. I've always been interested in doing it, but since I had my baby (she's almost 6 months now), my maternal instincts have been really raging. My husband is on board with the idea as well, but we have decided to have at least one more biological child. We talked about it last night and he would like to wait until our kids are a little older so that they can be involved in the process. He said he wants to shoot for 4 bio. children first (my suggestion was 2 bio., 2 adopted). I'm hoping this isn't his way of putting adoption off or avoiding it altogether. I'd like to have ALL of my children within the next 6 years, adopted or not.
I guess what I'm asking you all is:
1. More often than not, I'm almost obsessed with adoption and feel that it's something I was meant to do. Other times, it seems scary to invite a foreign child (as in, not our blood) into our family. I don't know why. I guess I shouldn't feel that way, but honestly sometimes I do. Frankly I feel the same way about having another bio. child-- like I might be taking away from the love and attention that my firstborn needs. Are these normal concerns, and if so, how should I address them?
2. Reading through the board here, it seems there is so much to know about the process, and about attachment parenting in general. I breastfeed, sling for the most part, don't vax and all of that, but I don't think I have what it takes at this point in my life to parent a young child with attachment issues. How do I go about educating myself? What should I know? How do you prepare for something like this?
3. I have a history of anxiety and depression. I was on meds for a long time. I'm been off them for a few years now and am doing great. While I think my experiences will make me a better parent, will this be a red flag to the social workers and hinder the process?
I'm so confused that I'm not even sure what questions to ask. Maybe I'm just looking for support and some wise words. It may or may not be a while before I'll be able to adopt, and I just want to be ready when the time is right.
Thanks in advance. I love reading about all of your experiences.
I have been feeling a strong "calling", if you will, to adopt. I've always been interested in doing it, but since I had my baby (she's almost 6 months now), my maternal instincts have been really raging. My husband is on board with the idea as well, but we have decided to have at least one more biological child. We talked about it last night and he would like to wait until our kids are a little older so that they can be involved in the process. He said he wants to shoot for 4 bio. children first (my suggestion was 2 bio., 2 adopted). I'm hoping this isn't his way of putting adoption off or avoiding it altogether. I'd like to have ALL of my children within the next 6 years, adopted or not.
I guess what I'm asking you all is:
1. More often than not, I'm almost obsessed with adoption and feel that it's something I was meant to do. Other times, it seems scary to invite a foreign child (as in, not our blood) into our family. I don't know why. I guess I shouldn't feel that way, but honestly sometimes I do. Frankly I feel the same way about having another bio. child-- like I might be taking away from the love and attention that my firstborn needs. Are these normal concerns, and if so, how should I address them?
2. Reading through the board here, it seems there is so much to know about the process, and about attachment parenting in general. I breastfeed, sling for the most part, don't vax and all of that, but I don't think I have what it takes at this point in my life to parent a young child with attachment issues. How do I go about educating myself? What should I know? How do you prepare for something like this?
3. I have a history of anxiety and depression. I was on meds for a long time. I'm been off them for a few years now and am doing great. While I think my experiences will make me a better parent, will this be a red flag to the social workers and hinder the process?
I'm so confused that I'm not even sure what questions to ask. Maybe I'm just looking for support and some wise words. It may or may not be a while before I'll be able to adopt, and I just want to be ready when the time is right.
Thanks in advance. I love reading about all of your experiences.
I think it is natural to wonder whether you can love a child not related by blood as much or in the same way. One way to think about this is, do you love your spouse? He's probably not related to you by blood. . . .
