I have fear, heading into this birth. I don't want another c/s. I would like to have 3 or 4 children but if I have to have another c/s, thats it....I'm done.
I know that one all too well. I've been back and forth a million times over whether my mental health will take a worse hit by not having another baby, or by having another c-section. I've finally realized that not having any more children would be even worse than having another section, but it's been hard to decide. I have to figure out how to come to terms with the surgeries...but I'm not there yet. I guess for me the bottom line is that the OBs have done enough damage - they're not going to steal my last baby from me, as well.
I think I can do this, but...I thought I was prepared for another section when I got pregnant with ds2 in 2004. I really fooled myself that I was okay with it - until I actually got pregnant and the nightmares and insomnia started. If we're even successful in our attempts to conceive, I wonder if I'm setting myself up for another nine months of hell...not to mention my fears about my baby being taken too soon (they took dd too soon, and my babies with dh seem to like a long gestation) and about my increased risk of an accreta. I'm scheduling out for my baby - I don't know what killed Aaron, and if it was uterine damage from my previous sections, I can't take a chance on that happening again. But...I don't want my baby to go through a section again. I know dd (the only one I didn't labour with) had a much harder time than she should have...