My family called me crazy

[travisandjill]

Last month I kinda broke off contact with my parents and sisters because they called me crazy. They said I go on too many rants about not circumcising and email them too much stuff they dont care about. They then told my hubby I need to see a shrink and get on meds. Apparently I am the crazy one for spreading info about why someone should NOT mutilate their sons! My mom is a nurse and could do so much good for the cause, but she still supports circumcising. I would rather not associate with them anymore if after all I show them they still support this grusome surgery:

[TigerTail]

It's hard not to wax enthusiastic for The Cause, especially when it is just & it is the helpless who are afflicted.

Maybe your mom is the kind of person who would benefit more from just discussing, then an email blitz. I delete the glurge my family sends without reading it , they might just see it as spam?

[Susuhound]

If being passionate about protecting those who can't speak for themselves means you are crazy then I guess we're all crazy. Welcome to the asylum (:

[Blarg]

They think you need to see a psychiatrist?! Wow. Yeah, if they go to those extremes to make themselves feel like cutting off parts of babies is okay, then I do believe it's best for your health to cut off contact with them.

Geeze.

I probably need a psychiatrist or counseler or something, seeing as I'm circumcised and probably still have un-dealt-with emotional issues about it that need to be dealt with.

But you? Just for trying to convince them that cutting off parts of babies isn't okay? Geeze.

I'm pretty sure they're the ones that need to see a shrink.

[chaoticzenmom]

Why do you send so much info? Do you feel that they openly disagree with you, so you try to make them understand?

My grandmother is a passionate Republican. She sends me the weirdest stuff that I don't care about!LOL I just asked her to stop sending political emails and she did, no problems. Now, if I constantly lectured her on her politics, I could see that she would feel the need to make me understand where she's coming from, but since that's not the case, she stopped sending the emails.

Do they lecture you about not circing? If so, keep sending the propaganda If they don't care about your choice and never mention it good or bad, just stop sending the emails so you can keep good relations.


Lisa

[njeb]

Honey, THEY are the crazy ones.

[DocsNemesis]

I cant answer for her, but my mom really didnt care either way about me circing, yet I still have this need to show her that I did the RIGHT thing. She still insists it doesnt hurt and it drives me insane. She still insists the foreskin is just a peice of skin that serves no purpose. Argh! I also cut off contact with my mom, but not over this (she told me to see a shrink too, said I was depressed and had issues because I had asked her to seek help for her issues-she is a bad pack rat and her house is soooo unsanitary; like dead rats in the bathtub-seriously! That is NOT normal!). I havent spoken to my mom in about 4 months now and know what? I am happier than I have been in years!

[calngavinsmom]

Originally Posted by Susuhound

If being passionate about protecting those who can't speak for themselves means you are crazy then I guess we're all crazy. Welcome to the asylum (:

Ahhhhhhh! there's no place like home

If people can't see that getting outraged about this: http://www.intact.ca/video.html
is the appropriate response....I think they are the ones who need to be heavily medicated!

Take care,
Tara

[travisandjill]

Hi Again!

Well to answer some questions, I have had to put up with alot of crud from my in laws, sisters, and parents since my son was born 18 months ago. Everybody lectures me about not circing him all the time. Especially my mother (she also makes other hurtful comments about my sons penis, like "it sure is small" and the like...I must say though how can she say my son has a small penis anyways. He is 18 months old!!! He is my first son, and his penis looks normal! And no I dont think his penis is small, I guess she has never seen him with a "stiffie". But thats a whole nother rant!!!). I guess I get angry sometimes and then email them all the intactivist info. My mom told me I "shouldnt care so much" about what other people do to their children.

Oh how blissful life would be if I could just forget that millions of baby's are cut up every year in the world. Maybe I could sleep at night. But I cant, and I wont forget about those helpless babys. And I will continue doing everything I can to stop circumcision, even if that means losing family

[TigerTail]

Argh! Those would be some people who had no business seeing my kid naked, after a comment like that. Well, who cares if you offend someone that rude? "Mom, your labia are looking kind of flabby, I want to get them cut down so they'll look more 'normal'. 'K?"

[falcon]

So your mom thinks her grandson's penis is small, but wants more of it removed??? : What an awful thing to say, especially about her own grandbaby!

I send my mom and sis anti-circ emails all the time, mostly because I want them to know exactly why I feel the way I do about this issue. I am thankful that they agree with me I think whatever you can do to protect babies from this horrible practice is admirable, and they are crazy for not learning from you!

[frenchie]

This is just *my* opinion, so please, take it for what it is.....First of all, you need to draw clear boundaries with your mother. Discussion about your son's penis, his foreskin status and SIZE should be off limits. Discussions like that are unproductive and hurtful to you. Second, it's WONDERFUL to be passionate about a cause, especially THIS cause. However, if people are telling you that it's too much, and they are uninterested in the information, you NEED to respect that. You have planted the seed, it's either going to germinate, or not. You need to move on.
Losing FAMILY over this is lame....especially losing your relationship with your mom. Is it really worth it in the end? She is your ONLY mom....period. You two are going to have to agree to disagree....and leave it at that. This topic needs to be off limits, unless she decides to come around to your views.
It would be beneficial to let this go, and communicate with her about how much her comments have hurt you. You two really should move forward from there.

[Blarg]

Originally Posted by frenchie

Losing FAMILY over this is lame....especially losing your relationship with your mom.

I disagree. If her family seriously thinks she must have mental problems due to her stance on this issue (and accompanying passion), I'd say it isn't healthy for her to stay in contact with them. This has gone beyond disagreement: her family thinks her conviction about this issue is indicative of mental problems. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to hang on to.

[Daisyuk]

Originally Posted by Blarg

I disagree. If her family seriously thinks she must have mental problems due to her stance on this issue (and accompanying passion), I'd say it isn't healthy for her to stay in contact with them. This has gone beyond disagreement: her family thinks her conviction about this issue is indicative of mental problems. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to hang on to.

I agree, family are supposed to be helpful and supportive, if they are only adding to someone's problems or contact is causing misery then life is infinitely better without them. "Family" are not essential for a happy and balanced life, sometimes I think that people give far too much weight to blood ties rather than using their common sense. My partner sure doesn't miss his mother (the one that mutilated him at birth), and I do not miss my (deceased) father.

[yankeeinUK]

Originally Posted by travisandjill

Last month I kinda broke off contact with my parents and sisters because they called me crazy. They said I go on too many rants about not circumcising and email them too much stuff they dont care about. They then told my hubby I need to see a shrink and get on meds. Apparently I am the crazy one for spreading info about why someone should NOT mutilate their sons! My mom is a nurse and could do so much good for the cause, but she still supports circumcising. I would rather not associate with them anymore if after all I show them they still support this grusome surgery:

It seems that your family isn't saying you're crazy because of your opinions, but rather because of you behavior. I don't know you, not even your online persona, but I'm inclined to wonder if maybe should take an honest look at your behavior towards them. They said that they are not interested in these emails, so if you continue to send them, then that is harrassment.

I have opinions on some hot-button issues, myself. For example, I don't approve of abortion. I would rather that pregnant women wouldn't choose to abort and I would rather that abortion clinics didn't exist. However, I think that to stand outside a clinic, yelling at women and waving gruesome photos at passersby would only serve to annoy people, offend them, and alienate the very people whom I'd most like to convert to my point of view. If I knew a woman with an unwanted pregnancy was planning to abort, I would try to find a kind, gentle way of offering my opinions, and endeavor to get her to carry to term. But, I wouldn't bother with anything that would only serve to upset her and cause her to feel greater resentment towards the prolife POV. It may even be that I wouldn't say anything to her at all, because our relationship might not be one in which it would be possible to discuss the topic. This is not cowardice, but just common sense.

Is your true motivation to change hearts and minds, or to be "right" and win the argument?

[Paddington]

My mom didn't circ and totally is not for it and she still thinks I'm crazy! You know, we get so caught up and excited and just want to share everything, but sometimes people just aren't at that place yet. So, I've toned it down. I put it out there, so that people know I am a resource they can go to and I am still reading and still learning but I am working on figuring ways to help end RIC. Right now, working on a plan to reach more people, you know, the ones I am not related to And when a friend gets pregnant, I try to work the conversation in, put out the info so they know the biggest issues, give them some resources, and then I am backing off, to let them do the research.

I mean truly I don' t think there is that much else you can do. Once you get to the point where you are yelling at them "how can you mutiliate your babe?", I think we have lost them....

So, instead, I am trying to focus on the bodily integrity point and also the sexual dysfunctions. I am hoping that hearing more about how people restored and gained back so much feeling or reversed ED problems, might prevent people from doing it. And I am looking to talk with a priest at my church to try and get more info out that way. We shall see if it works

[travisandjill]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I guess I was harassing them by emailing them all the time, but I justify that by getting them back for harassing ME and my son all the time. I decided its un healthy to continue doing that so I broke off contact. Believe me my "mother" and I are better off not talking ever again. We never had a good relationship and she nearly killed my DD twice while "babysitting". We dont even live in the same state anymore so its a non issue.
I guess I was just hurt that while trying to defend my choice, I get called crazy. But when they tell me I should circ my son, they are "normal". It hurts to get stabbed in the back by people who are suppost to love you, but you find out they are spreading vicious lies around the family about you.
When I sent the emails I was trying to convince them that their views are horrendous...since they obvoiusly think my view are.

But it wont be a problem anymore and I changed my email addy, and my phone number. I feel so betrayed by what they have said, that I doubt I will ever talk to them again. My son deserves to have a grandma that loves him nomatter what!

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by Blarg

I disagree. If her family seriously thinks she must have mental problems due to her stance on this issue (and accompanying passion), I'd say it isn't healthy for her to stay in contact with them. This has gone beyond disagreement: her family thinks her conviction about this issue is indicative of mental problems. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to hang on to.

I was giving her mother the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes we say things that we really don't mean. The word "crazy" is very loosely used. Having grown up without much of a family at all, I hold great importance to family. My mother and I have never really gotten along well, but at my age, I at least TRY...and she tries. After much therapy, I stood up to her and drew some serious boundaries....but I digress.
It's obvious by the op's conclusion above, that there were much greater issues going on than just the circ issue. I responded to the information given. If the issue that was causing contention was just the circ issue, I still stand by my original opinion. Knowing MORE, it's unfortunate, but probably best to cut off contact for now. I would still say it shouldn't be a forever thing. Hopefully a day will come where some healing can take place, and the op's son can have a grandmother that really does love ALL of him.

[TigerTail]

He does, & you deserve better too.

[bullfrog]

What a drag - I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

I cannot believe your mom called your DS penis small - I would be tempted to launch into a full on pornographic conversation about size and why it does or does not matter - just to illustrate to her how totally INAPPROPRIATE she was being - watch her get totally uncomfortable and ask her to never mention it again.

My family thinks I'm crazy for various reasons such as: knowing the difference between whole and processed foods; not circing; not vaxing; breastfeeding; co-sleeping; home birthing; and not going to church and FINALLY - buying parmesian cheese in a big hard block and grating it myself over my food (seriously - I thought they were going to fall over dead with confusion over that last one if it doesn't say 'Kraft' who knows what it is?? .)

I've totally given up on them needless to say - they know they'll get an earfull from me if they touch on any 'hot button' topics, simply because I educate myself and have evidence to back up my actions. So it's actually rare that anyone brings it up.