No one seems facinated about my HB! - Page 2

[StacieM]

Congratulations! That's is so something to be proud of. I'm considering a home birth, but I don't think that anyone in our family has ever done it and they'll probably all think I'm crazy and try to talk me out of it. Especially because we don't have the hospital close enough for their comfort.

[umami_mommy]

i haven't read all the replies, but i just want to chime in here with the belief that there is really a taboo around talking openly about birth.

i think since hospital birth is the last bastion of sanctioned physical abuse of women, so that there is a real stigma attached to asking deatils about birth. people kinda think it's supposed to be traumatic and horrible and scary and that's why you have to birth at a hospital, so you don't die or something.

i have a friend who has had many friends who have had babies before me and yet, she told me that i was her only friend who told her any details about her birth. becuase i did, she demanded her doctor support her better so she didn't tear so bad the second time.

i too was amazed no one asked me about my homebirth, since i found it to be such a powerful and incredible thing.

[EmmaJean]

more people ask my husband about it than me! It's like they feel safer questioning him and trying to make him feel stupid for it, but to my face they're sweet as pie and don't say a word! So strange....

Emily

[Mooney]

Phoebe: Do tell us if you've posted a birth story here, or if you're planning on it. I'm planning an HBAC soon too, and can't get enough stories! Also, I'm sorry you don't feel like you've got very many IRL ears to listen...I'd be asking the most likely supportive people I know if I could tell them about it, since you're bursting at the seams! Or find other ways to let out all that communicative energy--write or create art/crafts that express the most powerful moments and feelings. We all have to "process" our births--good or bad.

As for general "birth story" openness...I did some asking about birth stories from co-workers and older relatives when I trained as a doula. It was really interesting; I wouldn't ever have asked these women about their births in the course of normal conversation, but every one was really pleased to sit down and tell me about her experience(s). That phenomenon was something we discussed in the training, that most women remember their births in great detail, and will tell all about it if you ask. Now I ask all the time...almost as an icebreaker with new mom friends.

[Kylix]

Originally Posted by moodyred01

I agree with PP that they probably don't know what to say or ask.

If none of your friends have had hb they probably don't know how ECSTATIC you feel and how truly wonderful it was. A lot of times there isn't much to share about hospital birth "We got there... it hurt... I had my epidural... I had a crappy nurse..." Maybe they don't know how much more personal hb stories can be... BUT I WOULD LOVE TO READ YOUR STORY!!! BRING IT ON YOU STRONG BIRTHIN' MAMA!!!

I completely agree with this. Maybe they don't think there is anything to tell except "it hurt like h*ll and then I got my epidural". Sadly, alot of women I run into see birth as something to get past in order to get to the "good stuff" even though birth is a beautiful event in its own right. I wish more women took charge of their birthing experience. More women need to be made aware of that possibility. I find it my responsibility to share that with other women.

If I were you, I wouldn't wait for anyone to ask. I would stop anyone who would let me and shout out proud "I had a homebirth! It was a beautiful experience and one of the best days of my life!".

Kylix

[beautyful]

I was going to say, make it an HBAC, and that gets people talking, but I guess not

Congrats! I had an HWBAC in July, and it was the most amazing experience.

[Phoebe]

Gosh, so many great responses here!

Very true...

I agree with those of you who stated that talk of birth is still a bit tabu. That is so bizarre to me!! Its my favorite subject!
I remember meeting a father of 4 one day at work about 10+ years ago. Some how we got on the subject (how does that suject come up...)and he told me his wife birthed all 4 at home. He called her "mountain woman". I was blown away and full of questions. I knew it was out of the ordinary so I didn't feel stupid asking questions. I just thought it was super fantastic...I would never do it, but I'd love to (me at 19 or 20 )

I also agree that many people think it is totally idiotic and don't want to talk to me about it for that reason. Ex: my mom and best friend.


Our neighbors came over the other day after they got our announcement and said "you had him at home? wow, that's crazy!". That was fine with me. I just think it's bizare when it is totally ignored. It becomes the 800lb gorilla almost, ykwim?

tinyshoes, thanks for thinking of me! I totally understand your mourning of my first birth. I tend to mourn others birth mishaps more than my own. Fortunately, I never felt sad about my first boy's birth.

Here is the link to little Raul's birth story.
http://http://www.mothering.com/disc...d.php?t=570557
It's kinda long...I"m a little wordy.
Plus, it's the "official" birth story and I knew I'd forget details if I didn't write them down!

Amy

[tinyshoes]

Originally Posted by Phoebe

tinyshoes, thanks for thinking of me! I totally understand your mourning of my first birth. I tend to mourn others birth mishaps more than my own. Fortunately, I never felt sad about my first boy's birth.

hugs, hugs, hugs--thank you so much for understanding just what I meant!

I <3 ya, lady!!!!!