Friend circ'd son

[felix23]

We went to a playdate with my dd NICU buddies, and I was so upset that one of the parents had just had their son circumsized last week. After leaving him intact for a year ( our NICU won't do circumsisions), they decided that it just didn't look right! What is wrong with people?! I really just don't get how people can put their child through a completely unnecessary plastic surgery. The saddest thing is that one of the other parents commented that they had to have their son circ. twice because the dr left too much skin the first time and "it looked gross". These are people who know all about circumcision because our NICU gave all the parents papers telling how circumcision was not necessary. These parents have been such a great support over the last year and I am so disipointed in their decision to put their own desires over the well-being of their son.

Rachel

[RiverSky]

It's sick. How do they have any idea what their baby's penis will look like once he grows some more? What a stupid and illogical reason.

[Ligmom]

Gosh, that sucks Poor baby It is disgusting how some people think, isn't it?

I think in your shoes I would seriously reconsider hanging out with this friend--her values seem "off" to me.

[kldliam]

OP: The saddest thing is that one of the other parents commented that they had to have their son circ. twice because the dr left too much skin the first time and "it looked gross".

This is just the most disgusting thing to read. In search of the the perfectly sculpted penis for your child.... what a sicko!!!

I hear this exact thing more and more. I think some doctors are intentionally starting to leave more skin on these boys (perhaps because they know the skin belongs there & are conflicted about removing it). Sadly, I think their 'well-meaning' intentions drive nut-job parents back to another knife-happy Ped at a later date, to shave more off an already taumatized child/penis.

[Lula's Mom]

I hope you told them you were disappointed. They need to hear some peer pressure from the intactivist side, because they just caved in to the pro-circumcision side's pressure about cultural norms.

Originally Posted by felix23

These are people who know all about circumcision because our NICU gave all the parents papers telling how circumcision was not necessary.

You know, they were told circumcision wasn't necessary, but that still leaves it as an option, which they eventually chose. It's presented as if both ways are equal, when they're not! I wish parents would be told that the foreskin itself is functional, necessary, useful, fun, and full of nerve endings that their son will enjoy! The parents never hear the reasons to leave their sons intact. I'll bet they don't know what they just stole from him. If they did, surely they wouldn't have cut him after a year, for such a capricious reason.


ixnay on the amecalling-nay, They are listening!

[sophiekat]

: i'm sorry.

[My_Three_Sons]

I'm sorry to hear that. I wonder if they were pressured by their families to do it?

Out of our whole circle of friends, only one couple (that we know of), chose to circ. their son, and it was the father who lobbied for it. It made me look at them differently, that's for sure. It seems such a strange decision for educated, nice people to make.

Tricia

[Katielady]

Sucks.

I have a relatively new friend and just saw her in the hospital today. Her little baby son was born yesterday. At one point he started crying and she said, "He was circumcised today, so..." and she made sort of a gesture as if to say, "he's feeling a bit under the weather."

How can people do it? He is so tiny and helpless and he JUST got here. :

Definitely makes me feel differently about her and her husband.

[dynamohumm6]

Seriously, that's disgusting. They leave him alone for a year and decide it "doesn't look right"?!? what, are they planning on framing the freaking thing?? Using it as a centerpiece for family gatherings?? WTF is WRONG with people??

I'm sorry, that just lights me up like very few other things in the world do.
:

[mommyswenn]

I always get sad when I hear things like this, because it makes me wonder what they thought every time they changed their son's diaper for the past year. Same thing where I live -- circ's aren't done in the hospital here and the baby must be at least a couple of weeks old. So do the parents think, "I can't WAIT until it's done?" every time they change their tiny son, rather than marvelling at what a miracle they have created? :

[DreamsInDigital]

Ugh it drives me crazy when people complain that intact penises look weird or wrong or gross. WTF makes you think you're the one who gets to decide what it should look like? ARGH!
to you, OP. It's awful being friends with people like that.

[MommytoB]

Sheesh ! Why are people so 'concerned about changing their 'son's penises' to the 'way they want it' to me that is soooo sick!

Why don't they leave it be no parent should decide to alter their child penis on looks!

[TigerTail]

Are you trying to make me growl so loudly I wake ds from his nap?

Argh. That's just wretched behavior. I'm glad there was no custom at my birth in this country for anyone to decide to cosmetically alter MY genitals. Horrific.

[Getz]

Ug, that makes me sick!!

[enstar780]

This is too appalling for words. Outrageous. Parents should have absolutely no right to modify a normal part of a childs body that all boys are born with. It is, wrong, evil, sad, sick, horrific, that these people think they can modify their childrens bodies to suit their asthetic tastes, deciding how to alter their appearance of their childs body like one picks out the colour of ones living room carpet. It should be illegal, I am amazed constantly that circumcision is still legal in this country and how a country which allegedly supports freedom could deprive children of one of their most basic rights, the right to a whole body and not have mutilations forced on them when they are too young to consent.

I would have given these sickos a piece of my mind, they need to hear that and realise what they have done is deeply unethical and immoral.

[felix23]

I didn't say anthing to them right there because I was actually getting close to leaving and Lilly was starting to fall apart. I don't think too clearly with a baby screaming in my ear. One of the reasons I was surprised was because this is something we had talked about while our dc were in the NICU and the mom had told me they had decided against it. I don't think that the dad was totally convinced that they should leave him intact. I sent her an e-mail telling her how I felt and asking why they really decided to have him circumcised. I personally feel like the dad pressured the mom into it. The other couple is VERY mainstream, so I'm not surprised at all that they circumcised their child twice. I am disapointed with them, but they are really about the only friends with children that I have. They are also the only people that I know that can understand what I went through in the NICU. I don't want to end our relationship, but it is hard treating them the same after what they did to their son.
Rachel

[KMK_Mama]

To hear this is very saddening, but knowing that it is happening every day to thousands of babies is even sicker. :

My DH was circumcised when he was 4, because he too was a NICU baby, born at 26 weeks back in 1975. His Mom didn't have health insurance at the time and had all the bills from him being in the NICU to pay off....but as soon as she did, and she had the $$ for the circumcision, she had it done....when he was 4! He remembers it. :