Could we get in trouble?

[ColeysMama]

I'm asking this kind of early... we are not planning to have another baby for a few years... but I had a horrible hospital experience with the first and decided then and there that, barring a life-threatening emergency, I would never go back to that or any hospital to have a baby.

My DH was cool with this. I want to be a HB midwife (I'm a first-year nursing student right now), and other than paying out-of-pocket, he didn't see any reason not to, if that's what I wanted. But... he didn't know that direct-entry midwifery is illegal here in NC. And now he knows, and does not want me/us to have a hb. I tried to tell him that WE would not be doing anything illegal. And that I know people in our area who have had hb, and nothing happened legally.

If we were civilians, it may be different. But he is a Marine, and is afraid that somehow his command would find out and he would get in trouble. Which is silly, since I really doubt that the Marine Corps knows or cares about the legality of homebirthing.

I've thought about UC. I think I would be paranoid about something going wrong, though, and not able to relax. I will be a RN by the time we have the next one, and will have some L&D experience from doing clinicals for school... but I don't know.

There are a few CNM's around here, but they all work at hospitals.

Can someone please tell me whether we could be prosecuted, or worse come to worst?

[alegna]

Nowhere in the US is it illegal to homebirth. The only thing is that in some places it is illegal to give "medical assistance" at a homebirth. Mom is never in any legal risk. There are a few places that theoretically could come after dad IF he said he caught- so say mom caught, then no one is at risk.

-Angela

[Shelsi]

I don't know about the illegal thing, hopefully someone else will chime in. However, do you live on base? That's where your dh could get in trouble. Some bases have an actual rule that you can not homebirth while living on base. Those are usually the bases where someone did and they found out, or someone was stupid enough to come right out and ask, and therefore they quickly put it on the books that you can't hb.

We live on base and where we are I have no idea if they have a rule against it. I'm just not going to ask and if I need to I will feign ignorance later and ask for forgiveness. I'm just making sure that I am not announcing to anyone related to the military (my neighbors, dh's co-workers, etc) that we are hbing.

[2tadpoles]

Hello from a former military member who was stationed at Camp Lejeune for three years. s

Yes, the military DOES care about its members engaging in illegal activities, and will get involved if trouble arises. Especially if you live on base.

By arranging for a midwife (without a back-up doctor) to attend your homebirth, you ARE doing something illegal, although you probably wouldn't be prosecuted for it. If complications arise and hospital personnel are alerted to the arrangement, the midwife could be prosecuted. Is that something you'd want on your conscience?

Are you against pre-natal testing? If not, I don't see why you can't arrange for a CNM to attend your homebirth. AFAIK, NC midwives can attend homebirths as long as they have a doctor backing them up. It doesn't mean the doctor will be at your birth; just that the midwife would have to follow medical protocol to a certain degree.

[ColeysMama]

I would like to skip most of the prenatal testing. No ultrasounds or anything like that - just the basics. I haven't researched enough yet to have specifics in mind.

I really would love to have a UC, I just think I would be nervous. My ideal would be to have a midwife, but for her to be there "just in case." I want to do this on my own, without any interference or interruption. My, my DH, Cole, maybe someone extra to stay with Cole and keep him entertained, fed, etc. And a midwife. The midwife would be more of a backup person - I want to catch the baby myself as well, or have DH do it.

We do not live on base, btw.

I thought about "planning" a hospital birth, then just having an "oops" UC. That way if I feel comfortable at the time, I can go ahead and have a UC, but if for whatever reason I'm not, or I think things aren't going well, I can just go to the hospital. And since I'll be an RN by this time, and should have at least a little experience in L&D under my belt, I might be willing to go unassisted.

Like I said, there are a few CNM's here, but they all work at hospitals. Who knows, maybe things will change by the time I'm actually pregnant again. I just want to have my bases covered so I can make a decision when the time comes.

2tadpoles - we are at MCAS New River!

[georgannemomof6]

Coley's momma~

*I* would UC, before ever going back to hospital! (I used a DEM for last birth @home)

"something going wrong" is a HUGE mental block for some people, so learn all you can, read positive birth stories (Laura Shanely, Lyn Griesmer) there are even sections for dads in their books!
Then, when filing for a birth certificate, you can claim "oops!, baby came too fast
Prayers!

[Shelsi]

I think the problem with back-up care is that even if they don't know your plans to *oops* UC they are just soooo good at instilling fear. I belong to a more mainstream board as well and in my July DDC where we are barely 3 months along there's already a handful that have been "diagnosed" with placenta previa with NO symptoms (it was just seen on u/s). Their OBs are already talking about their c-sections :

Personally, esp since you live off base, I would go with the mw and homebirth. Of course I'm biased because this is what I'm doing lol.

[ColeysMama]

nak

the oops thing is believeable... with cole, i took over 24 hrs to get to 5cm, then once i hit active labor, it was 4 hours till he was born. 30 minutes of pushing. and 2nd babies go faster...

not worried about anyone instilling fear in me... they weren't able to with my first, and i know so much more now than i did.