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post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
I have been reading books and birth stories and every thread I can, and I still feel like I'm the only one who doesn't know what's going on. Everyone seems so knowledgeable and casual and I feel so overwhelmed. I've got loads of what if's - what if I can't handle it? What if I can't tell when it's the real thing? What if we can't make it to the hospital? What if something happens to the baby or to DH? What if I do something wrong? What if... gravity reverses and I have to give birth on the ceiling? J/K on the last one, but I think you get the idea. I know that billions of women have done this before me and made it through but I can't help but freak out a little. I have just about eight weeks left and I feel like I'm running out of time to figure this all out. It doesn't help that "every birth is different" like people say all the time, I wish there was something I could count on.
post #2 of 13
Hugs mama. I know it can seem overwhelming, this is such a huge life change. Do you have a doula? If not contact whoever does the doula training in you area to get a volunteer doul (if money is an issue) They can be so helpful in helping you know when to go to the hospital and what is going on in labor. Since this is your first baby things will usually start out slow and most likely you will not deliver in the car! You will be able to handle it especially with the right support. Take it one day at a time and remember that your body knows exactly what its doing, you just need to listen to it. Good luck!
post #3 of 13
It's so overwhelming when you haven't done it before, and you're faced with it! I remember how that felt! Remember that whatever happens, you will handle it (mainly because you'll have to!! People have often told me that they never could have handled a labor as long as my first (induced) but I told them I handled it because what else can you do?), you will heal, and your body was meant to do this!

I sure wish I could give you more reassuring advice, just that I know you will get through it and you'll do just fine... birth changes you so much but it's good!
post #4 of 13

MY last birth was terrifiying but even knowing that I was living a nightmare, I found peace from somewhere and let my body do what mother nature design it to do. Women have been doing this since the dawn of time. The more fear the more pain.
Labor is a beautiful thing.
You will feel power and such a connection with nature .
You are a women, a goddess and are experiencing something that will never be matched.

As far as the fear that something will go wrong...........I wont go into much detail about my birth experience it was all that could go wrong and I dont want to scare you, but have faith in yourself and your sweet little babe.

Best wishes
post #5 of 13
My goal for birth is to not have a birth like my last one...but since I don't get to decide & chose...I am planning on taking what I get My last labor was long & tiring-I want normal.
Trust your body & your mind. You'll be just fine mamma!!
post #6 of 13
i think what you are feeling is pretty normal. esp. for a first pregnancy. i think we are all acting casual cause what the heck else can ya do???

but i do think fear can turn your birthing experiecne into something really painful though, so i do think it's worth your while to find some ways to cope with your fear... deep breathing, rescue remedy, energy tapping, hypnobabies, etc. have you read "birthing form within?" it might be worthwhile for you to read.

the more you can cope with the fear, the easier your birth will be, i believe.

time to remind yourself that you are a powerful woman who's body was made for birthing and that you can do this wonderful and joyous thing. there is no need for panic. of course you can do this, this is what you were born to to do.
post #7 of 13
I was fearful during my first labor too once my pit induced contracts came. It was overwhelming but I didn't have anyone to tell my what it should feel like. If you have any questions, ask them. This is a great place to do that because you *will* get a myriad of responses. You are doing the right thing reminding yourself of the women that have birthed before you. Learn the process so you at least know what to expect from that. You will cope in your own way and you will be just fine. Keep gathering knowledge to use as tools.
post #8 of 13
I agree with the pp's.

The problem with all the explanations you read is that labour is so different for each person and each pregnancy.

I think the most important thing to know is the different stages of labour -- early, active, transition and pushing, etc, so you have a basic idea of what the heck your body is doing and what the nurses/ doctors/midwives are talking about. Then at least you will understand what is going on and you can think, "Okay, now they're telling me I'm dialated 7 or 8 cm, so things will be getting really intense really soon as I go into transition". And be aware of your options and possible things that may happen, so that you will be informed if you do need to make a decision about inductions or interventions or surgery or medication, or if you find you do feel the need for medication in the moment.

I remember last time I did a one day all day birth prep class with a doula. I was so stressed because I didn't remember any of the breathing stuff she had taught, and the birth video really terrified me. But I found that when the time came, I knew enough about myself and how to relax and get into a good place mentally and emotionally to handle the birth, even without remembering any of the breathing / massage/ etc.

The best thing someone told me last time when I was really pregnant was just to take labour one contraction at a time, and not worry too much about the future -- just go with each contraction. The more you relax and go with it, the less you are fighting the process your body is going through and the easier things will hopefully go.
post #9 of 13
ITA with everything said here and I'll add that this IS a natural process. It's good to be aware of whats going on BUT, regardless of how and when it happens, or what you know or don't know, it WILL happen. Even if you didn't realize you were pregnant, you WOULD have this baby. You are doing what you can and that is to read up about the process. Now you just have to let nature take it's course.
post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 
I think I'm going to print this post and pack it in my bag. I wish you could all be there with me, you're so confident!
post #11 of 13
Sometimes I start feeling really anxious and worried, too! I don't know what to expect, and I think that's worse than anything else right now.

I find "Having A Baby, Naturally," to be a really soothing and reassuring book to read whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed. It helps me to acknowledge and process my fears without dismissing them or getting entrenched in them. Maybe it wouldn't help anyone else as much as it helps me, but I find myself going back to it constantly. It's just such a positive book.
post #12 of 13
Originally Posted by dooney View Post
I think I'm going to print this post and pack it in my bag. I wish you could all be there with me, you're so confident!
You are going to do a beautiful job.
post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Adensmommy View Post
You are going to do a beautiful job.
I hope so... I am just so bad at changes, even wonderful amazing changes, and this is just about the biggest one ever. Sometimes I just feel like crying.

You all would be proud of Paul, he is the most supportive, understanding husband ever. I know he's almost as scared as I am (though he won't be in any pain ) but he keeps telling me we're going to be fine and he's there with me and that I CAN DO IT.
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