Hi -
I've been troubled by the award system in my daughters' second grade classroom and would like some input (especially -- but not exclusively -- from educators). In their class, they have a Student of the Week award. One of my twins received the award within the first few weeks of school. Her twin was a bit jealous but mostly supportive and proud of her sister. Weeks have gone by and she's been anxiously awaiting getting the award. Her behavior is consistently good - she received the highest marks straight down her report card for behavior and effort.
It turns out, she's the last one left in her class to receive the award. We know she's doing well based on her behavior at home and her scores on the report card so we are not concerned about the award (we don't need her to bring that home to know she's doing well). However, we are concerned that it upsets her so much that she hasn't received it. She said a lot of the kids in her class who received the award already do not behave well -- and she knows that "for a fact b/c they receive a lot of red beans" (a red bean means time off of recess). She has never received a red bean and says she always tries her best and is so upset about not being recognized. Lately she's been saying she feels invisible. She said her teacher must think she's the worst kid in class and she cried a couple of times during winter break about school... That breaks our hearts.
I wrote the teacher a quick email explaining my daughter's feelings. The teacher's response was a bit baffling. She focused more on how we've raised two well-rounded girls who never have any issues w/ their behavior, etc. And then she went on to explain how even though it may not be fair, she feels it's more important to reward kids who don't always behave well when they're having particularly good weeks than to reward a child who does consistently well. Although I can somewhat understand that, I still think it's not fair to the poor little girl whose heart has been broken by feeling as though she's invisible and not recognized.
Part of me feels as though these awards create more problems than they're worth. I'm at such a loss -- how do I explain to a second grader that good behavior isn't always fairly rewarded?
Ugh --
Thanks for listening ...
I've been troubled by the award system in my daughters' second grade classroom and would like some input (especially -- but not exclusively -- from educators). In their class, they have a Student of the Week award. One of my twins received the award within the first few weeks of school. Her twin was a bit jealous but mostly supportive and proud of her sister. Weeks have gone by and she's been anxiously awaiting getting the award. Her behavior is consistently good - she received the highest marks straight down her report card for behavior and effort.
It turns out, she's the last one left in her class to receive the award. We know she's doing well based on her behavior at home and her scores on the report card so we are not concerned about the award (we don't need her to bring that home to know she's doing well). However, we are concerned that it upsets her so much that she hasn't received it. She said a lot of the kids in her class who received the award already do not behave well -- and she knows that "for a fact b/c they receive a lot of red beans" (a red bean means time off of recess). She has never received a red bean and says she always tries her best and is so upset about not being recognized. Lately she's been saying she feels invisible. She said her teacher must think she's the worst kid in class and she cried a couple of times during winter break about school... That breaks our hearts.
I wrote the teacher a quick email explaining my daughter's feelings. The teacher's response was a bit baffling. She focused more on how we've raised two well-rounded girls who never have any issues w/ their behavior, etc. And then she went on to explain how even though it may not be fair, she feels it's more important to reward kids who don't always behave well when they're having particularly good weeks than to reward a child who does consistently well. Although I can somewhat understand that, I still think it's not fair to the poor little girl whose heart has been broken by feeling as though she's invisible and not recognized.
Part of me feels as though these awards create more problems than they're worth. I'm at such a loss -- how do I explain to a second grader that good behavior isn't always fairly rewarded?
Ugh --
Thanks for listening ...
