The birth of our Christmas miracle, Josiah James
December 25, 2006 at 11:12pm
7lb 4.25oz, 20” long
I was due for our surprise baby on December 22nd, and of course, the day came and went with no baby. We had an induction scheduled for December 27th, but I really hoped to go into labor naturally before then.
Christmas Day came, and we stayed home with the children, since I couldn’t travel to our family get-together. I was having rather painless contractions intermittently throughout the morning. Around 2:45pm, they started getting painful. The contractions were coming every 5-10 minutes, with most only 6-8 minutes apart. Since both of my previous labors had been very fast, we thought it best to call the midwife and see what she wanted us to do. She asked us to come in to the hospital and at least be checked out to see what was happening. So, we got the kids ready, and brought them to our friends’ house for the evening. Then, we continued on to the hospital. Got there and checked in. My midwife checked my cervix, and I was dilated to 3cm, but had a contraction while she was checking, and the dilation increased to 4cm. So, I was admitted. The contractions were coming at about the same intervals. They were quite tolerable still, and the baby’s heart rate was looking great. We alternated walking the halls, sitting in the room rocking in the chair, and being monitored. A couple hours later, I was dilated to 5cm. The midwife offered to break my water, saying it would probably cause the baby to drop more and my cervix to dilate faster. I decided to give it a bit more time and see what happened. More walking, more rocking, more monitoring… At the next check, I was still 5cm. This was rather frustrating, because the contractions were coming closer together, and stronger, but I wasn’t progressing. I’d already been in the hospital longer than my other two labors COMBINED. So, she offered again to break my waters. Everything looked great, with no reason that breaking my water would be unadvisable. It was nearly 11pm, and we were hoping to have the baby that night, as I was getting quite tired. So, we agreed. My waters were broken – and there was lots of water! I was kinda surprised how much water.
Several minutes later, the baby’s heart rate dropped dangerously low. The numbers were in the 30’s and 40’s. The midwife rushed to check what was going on. Turns out, the umbilical cord had prolapsed and was coming down the birth canal ahead of the baby’s head. I was told to roll over onto my knees, and the midwife tried to push the baby’s head up off the cord. She then told me that it looked like an emergency c-section was going to have to be performed. This was of course, very scary and upsetting. Everything started moving very quickly. A nurse inserted an IV into my left hand. The midwife had to get on the stretcher with me (I was still on my knees), with her hand still pushing against the baby’s head. We were whisked off to surgery. Don was not permitted to come with us, as they were going to use a general anesthetic. The OB was paged; the anesthesiologist was paged. Nurses were all over the place. I was scared and in pain. I kept saying over and over, “Please save my baby.” Everyone was tense and moving quickly. They got me onto the table and strapped down. The anesthesiologist couldn’t be reached. The baby’s heart rate was still dangerously low. And the doctor said they couldn’t wait any more. My midwife still had her hand inside holding the head up. I was told she would be there holding the head until they had the baby out. I was given a local anesthetic – lidocaine injections to the belly. And they did the section – I was awake and felt everything except the initial cut. I thought I was going to die. The pain was unlike anything I’d ever imagined possible to experience. It felt like they were ripping my abdomen in two. I yelled and screamed in pain. It was horrifying. They got the baby out and immediately started working on getting the vitals stabilized. I later found out that the baby’s heart rate recovered immediately, and the baby breathed alone right away as well. The doctor stopped everything she could after the baby was out, still waiting for the anesthesiologist. She just applied pressure to control bleeding. I was still yelling and screaming. The anesthesiologist finally rushed in, and I looked at him and yelled, “Put me out! Put me out NOW!” He said, “I’m going to put you out as quickly as I safely can.” One of the nurses is a member of my church, and she sat next to me the whole time, trying to encourage me. The look in her eyes was so pained. I remember someone putting slight pressure on my throat and saying that they were going to put a tube down my throat to help me breath while I was under. Then, mercifully, I was asleep.
I woke way too soon, in my opinion, to someone saying my name. My eyes fluttered open and I slowly became aware of where I was. My throat hurt. I still felt pain, but nothing compared to the surgery. I looked over and saw that the baby was still in the room, being worked on. I asked if it was a boy or girl. Someone told me it was a boy. I asked if Don knew. Someone said yes. They told me that the baby was going to be transferred to another hospital with a better NICU. He was intubated, and they were still working on him, but I got to see him for a short second before I was moved back to my room. Don was there, looking more scared and worried than I ever remember seeing him look. I could only whisper, and asked him if he was okay. He said yes, but I didn’t believe him. He came over and kissed my head. I told him I loved him, and he said he loved me. The midwife came in and told us some info on the baby. Not only was the cord prolapsed, but there was a true knot in the middle of the cord, and he had the cord wrapped around his neck. It could have been very serious. The baby was reacting poorly to touch. He would tense and spasm. They were concerned about damage to his nervous system. Tests would be run, and there could be long-term problems, or there could be nothing. They did say that the baby would be brought in to our room before being transferred to BayState. It seemed to take forever, but finally, they did wheel him in. We got to look at him, and touch his hand briefly. They asked if we had a name, and I looked at Don. He decided on Josiah James. They whisked the baby off.
My midwife looked absolutely mortified about what had been necessary with the c-section. She apologized over and over. I told her it was okay, she couldn’t have known. It could have happened no matter when my water broke. Nothing I said helped her feel better. I asked if I would be able to have more children, and was told yes. She even said that a VBAC would be possible in the future, too. I’m not sure I will want to do this again, but I needed to know if the possibility was still there. The midwife said that the OB had put me on pitocin to induce contractions so that my uterus wouldn’t soften and start bleeding badly. Between the pitocin and the afterpains (this being my third child), I was in more pain than I had been in labor. They asked me what my pain level was. I said an 8 – I mean, after a c-section with nothing but local anesthetic, I have a new scale for pain. But this pain was really bad -- constant contractions that I was moaning/blowing through. My throat was dry and hurting from the tube, but the nurses would only give me a spoon of ice chips every ten minutes. They were giving me morphine through my IV every few minutes, but it didn’t even take the edge off the pain. Finally, they gave me a shot of Demerol, too. At about 4am, they let me take oral ibuprofen with a sip of water, and finally, the pain became manageable. We were moved to the post-partum room and there, we waited for information on Josiah, and waited to find out if I would be able to be transferred to BayState. I don’t remember a whole lot of what we did in the few hours we were there. I know I made some phone calls. I talked to my mom. I talked to some friends. We tried to rest. I was calm – at peace. I don’t know how to explain it. I knew that God was in control, and that we would be able to handle whatever came at us. I was concerned for Josiah, but not worried.
We were transferred to BayState between 11 and noon on the 26th. I was settled in my room, and then we went to see Josiah in the NICU. We spent the next couple days visiting him and recovering. Very little information was given to us. The doctors did a brain ultrasound, and it came back normal, though there was one spot that looked like it may have been not fully formed between the two lobes of the brain. The neurologist did not do a CT scan or MRI, but an EEG was run on Wednesday. It came back normal. Josiah had umbilical lines in his belly button, so we were unable to hold him until they were removed. Finally, on Wednesday evening, we got to hold him for the first time. We also were able to talk to a very kind neonatologist who gave us lots of information. Josiah had lots of things on the positive list, very little on the negative. Time would tell. We asked what his guess was as far as a release date. He guessed 7 days. Finally, I was able to breathe again. Up to this point, I had honestly been afraid (in the back of my mind) that he wasn’t even going to live. Lack of information is so much worse than bad news, as my mind always runs to worst-case scenarios.
Thursday morning, I was able to attempt nursing Josiah. It didn’t go well, but I was able to give him his bottle after our attempt failed. However, his bili count doubled, and he was put under bili lights before his next feeding, and we couldn’t hold him again for a little while. By Friday afternoon, the nurse let me try breastfeeding again. It was quite the juggling act, with the wires from his monitors, and his IV’s, and the bili-blanket cords. But he nursed like a champ! I decided to go back for the next feeding and try again…
I was discharged Friday afternoon, but we were able to stay in the “parent sleeping room” near the NICU, and I went and nursed Josiah at every feed. By Saturday morning, his bili count was down over 5 points. It was exhausting – each nursing session took an hour, and then I pumped after that, so after the hour and a half of nursing/pumping, I’d get an hour and a half to sleep before getting the phone call from the NICU to come start the process again.
We went home for a few hours on Saturday – I needed to see my other children. I had missed them so much. They did come and see me in the hospital twice, but it was hard, because they didn’t understand why they couldn’t get up on Mommy’s bed, and why I couldn’t pick them up. We couldn’t take them to the NICU, because Jonathan had a cold, and Emma would not have been able to behave in there. We did show them pictures, though. I attempted pumping while home, but had only minimal results. It was very frustrating, and I hated being away from the baby. I was so torn – felt like I was choosing between my children. But we did go back to the hospital for Saturday night.
I did the all-night-nursing-marathon again, though feedings took less time since he was getting more used to it, and I didn’t pump after each feed. After the midnight feeding, the NICU nurse told me that they may be able to discharge him that day! I was cautiously excited. I told Don, and then called my father (since it was morning in Ghana). Josiah was off of all the lights by morning, and discharged by 3pm.
I know I’m forgetting a lot of details, but I’m so thankful that God had His hand on my baby boy. So much could have gone wrong, but at every turn, something good happened. Friends poured out their love to us through prayers, phone calls, and gifts of time and money and food. My mother was able to fly home from Ghana, and is spending three weeks with us.
I look at my Josiah now, and I truly know that he is a miracle. His name appropriately means “God will save.” He fits beautifully into our little family, and I love him more than I imagined possible.
December 25, 2006 at 11:12pm
7lb 4.25oz, 20” long
I was due for our surprise baby on December 22nd, and of course, the day came and went with no baby. We had an induction scheduled for December 27th, but I really hoped to go into labor naturally before then.
Christmas Day came, and we stayed home with the children, since I couldn’t travel to our family get-together. I was having rather painless contractions intermittently throughout the morning. Around 2:45pm, they started getting painful. The contractions were coming every 5-10 minutes, with most only 6-8 minutes apart. Since both of my previous labors had been very fast, we thought it best to call the midwife and see what she wanted us to do. She asked us to come in to the hospital and at least be checked out to see what was happening. So, we got the kids ready, and brought them to our friends’ house for the evening. Then, we continued on to the hospital. Got there and checked in. My midwife checked my cervix, and I was dilated to 3cm, but had a contraction while she was checking, and the dilation increased to 4cm. So, I was admitted. The contractions were coming at about the same intervals. They were quite tolerable still, and the baby’s heart rate was looking great. We alternated walking the halls, sitting in the room rocking in the chair, and being monitored. A couple hours later, I was dilated to 5cm. The midwife offered to break my water, saying it would probably cause the baby to drop more and my cervix to dilate faster. I decided to give it a bit more time and see what happened. More walking, more rocking, more monitoring… At the next check, I was still 5cm. This was rather frustrating, because the contractions were coming closer together, and stronger, but I wasn’t progressing. I’d already been in the hospital longer than my other two labors COMBINED. So, she offered again to break my waters. Everything looked great, with no reason that breaking my water would be unadvisable. It was nearly 11pm, and we were hoping to have the baby that night, as I was getting quite tired. So, we agreed. My waters were broken – and there was lots of water! I was kinda surprised how much water.
Several minutes later, the baby’s heart rate dropped dangerously low. The numbers were in the 30’s and 40’s. The midwife rushed to check what was going on. Turns out, the umbilical cord had prolapsed and was coming down the birth canal ahead of the baby’s head. I was told to roll over onto my knees, and the midwife tried to push the baby’s head up off the cord. She then told me that it looked like an emergency c-section was going to have to be performed. This was of course, very scary and upsetting. Everything started moving very quickly. A nurse inserted an IV into my left hand. The midwife had to get on the stretcher with me (I was still on my knees), with her hand still pushing against the baby’s head. We were whisked off to surgery. Don was not permitted to come with us, as they were going to use a general anesthetic. The OB was paged; the anesthesiologist was paged. Nurses were all over the place. I was scared and in pain. I kept saying over and over, “Please save my baby.” Everyone was tense and moving quickly. They got me onto the table and strapped down. The anesthesiologist couldn’t be reached. The baby’s heart rate was still dangerously low. And the doctor said they couldn’t wait any more. My midwife still had her hand inside holding the head up. I was told she would be there holding the head until they had the baby out. I was given a local anesthetic – lidocaine injections to the belly. And they did the section – I was awake and felt everything except the initial cut. I thought I was going to die. The pain was unlike anything I’d ever imagined possible to experience. It felt like they were ripping my abdomen in two. I yelled and screamed in pain. It was horrifying. They got the baby out and immediately started working on getting the vitals stabilized. I later found out that the baby’s heart rate recovered immediately, and the baby breathed alone right away as well. The doctor stopped everything she could after the baby was out, still waiting for the anesthesiologist. She just applied pressure to control bleeding. I was still yelling and screaming. The anesthesiologist finally rushed in, and I looked at him and yelled, “Put me out! Put me out NOW!” He said, “I’m going to put you out as quickly as I safely can.” One of the nurses is a member of my church, and she sat next to me the whole time, trying to encourage me. The look in her eyes was so pained. I remember someone putting slight pressure on my throat and saying that they were going to put a tube down my throat to help me breath while I was under. Then, mercifully, I was asleep.
I woke way too soon, in my opinion, to someone saying my name. My eyes fluttered open and I slowly became aware of where I was. My throat hurt. I still felt pain, but nothing compared to the surgery. I looked over and saw that the baby was still in the room, being worked on. I asked if it was a boy or girl. Someone told me it was a boy. I asked if Don knew. Someone said yes. They told me that the baby was going to be transferred to another hospital with a better NICU. He was intubated, and they were still working on him, but I got to see him for a short second before I was moved back to my room. Don was there, looking more scared and worried than I ever remember seeing him look. I could only whisper, and asked him if he was okay. He said yes, but I didn’t believe him. He came over and kissed my head. I told him I loved him, and he said he loved me. The midwife came in and told us some info on the baby. Not only was the cord prolapsed, but there was a true knot in the middle of the cord, and he had the cord wrapped around his neck. It could have been very serious. The baby was reacting poorly to touch. He would tense and spasm. They were concerned about damage to his nervous system. Tests would be run, and there could be long-term problems, or there could be nothing. They did say that the baby would be brought in to our room before being transferred to BayState. It seemed to take forever, but finally, they did wheel him in. We got to look at him, and touch his hand briefly. They asked if we had a name, and I looked at Don. He decided on Josiah James. They whisked the baby off.
My midwife looked absolutely mortified about what had been necessary with the c-section. She apologized over and over. I told her it was okay, she couldn’t have known. It could have happened no matter when my water broke. Nothing I said helped her feel better. I asked if I would be able to have more children, and was told yes. She even said that a VBAC would be possible in the future, too. I’m not sure I will want to do this again, but I needed to know if the possibility was still there. The midwife said that the OB had put me on pitocin to induce contractions so that my uterus wouldn’t soften and start bleeding badly. Between the pitocin and the afterpains (this being my third child), I was in more pain than I had been in labor. They asked me what my pain level was. I said an 8 – I mean, after a c-section with nothing but local anesthetic, I have a new scale for pain. But this pain was really bad -- constant contractions that I was moaning/blowing through. My throat was dry and hurting from the tube, but the nurses would only give me a spoon of ice chips every ten minutes. They were giving me morphine through my IV every few minutes, but it didn’t even take the edge off the pain. Finally, they gave me a shot of Demerol, too. At about 4am, they let me take oral ibuprofen with a sip of water, and finally, the pain became manageable. We were moved to the post-partum room and there, we waited for information on Josiah, and waited to find out if I would be able to be transferred to BayState. I don’t remember a whole lot of what we did in the few hours we were there. I know I made some phone calls. I talked to my mom. I talked to some friends. We tried to rest. I was calm – at peace. I don’t know how to explain it. I knew that God was in control, and that we would be able to handle whatever came at us. I was concerned for Josiah, but not worried.
We were transferred to BayState between 11 and noon on the 26th. I was settled in my room, and then we went to see Josiah in the NICU. We spent the next couple days visiting him and recovering. Very little information was given to us. The doctors did a brain ultrasound, and it came back normal, though there was one spot that looked like it may have been not fully formed between the two lobes of the brain. The neurologist did not do a CT scan or MRI, but an EEG was run on Wednesday. It came back normal. Josiah had umbilical lines in his belly button, so we were unable to hold him until they were removed. Finally, on Wednesday evening, we got to hold him for the first time. We also were able to talk to a very kind neonatologist who gave us lots of information. Josiah had lots of things on the positive list, very little on the negative. Time would tell. We asked what his guess was as far as a release date. He guessed 7 days. Finally, I was able to breathe again. Up to this point, I had honestly been afraid (in the back of my mind) that he wasn’t even going to live. Lack of information is so much worse than bad news, as my mind always runs to worst-case scenarios.
Thursday morning, I was able to attempt nursing Josiah. It didn’t go well, but I was able to give him his bottle after our attempt failed. However, his bili count doubled, and he was put under bili lights before his next feeding, and we couldn’t hold him again for a little while. By Friday afternoon, the nurse let me try breastfeeding again. It was quite the juggling act, with the wires from his monitors, and his IV’s, and the bili-blanket cords. But he nursed like a champ! I decided to go back for the next feeding and try again…
I was discharged Friday afternoon, but we were able to stay in the “parent sleeping room” near the NICU, and I went and nursed Josiah at every feed. By Saturday morning, his bili count was down over 5 points. It was exhausting – each nursing session took an hour, and then I pumped after that, so after the hour and a half of nursing/pumping, I’d get an hour and a half to sleep before getting the phone call from the NICU to come start the process again.
We went home for a few hours on Saturday – I needed to see my other children. I had missed them so much. They did come and see me in the hospital twice, but it was hard, because they didn’t understand why they couldn’t get up on Mommy’s bed, and why I couldn’t pick them up. We couldn’t take them to the NICU, because Jonathan had a cold, and Emma would not have been able to behave in there. We did show them pictures, though. I attempted pumping while home, but had only minimal results. It was very frustrating, and I hated being away from the baby. I was so torn – felt like I was choosing between my children. But we did go back to the hospital for Saturday night.
I did the all-night-nursing-marathon again, though feedings took less time since he was getting more used to it, and I didn’t pump after each feed. After the midnight feeding, the NICU nurse told me that they may be able to discharge him that day! I was cautiously excited. I told Don, and then called my father (since it was morning in Ghana). Josiah was off of all the lights by morning, and discharged by 3pm.
I know I’m forgetting a lot of details, but I’m so thankful that God had His hand on my baby boy. So much could have gone wrong, but at every turn, something good happened. Friends poured out their love to us through prayers, phone calls, and gifts of time and money and food. My mother was able to fly home from Ghana, and is spending three weeks with us.
I look at my Josiah now, and I truly know that he is a miracle. His name appropriately means “God will save.” He fits beautifully into our little family, and I love him more than I imagined possible.
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