or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Gentle Discipline › DD always hearing "No"
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

DD always hearing "No"

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I read a post below about "no", but I wanted to start a separate thread because my story is quite different. I am worried about how much dd has been hearing "No" lately. DH pointed out that it's primarily because we haven't done a good enough job at babyproofing yet. I just hate always saying "No", but she's always finding things she shouldn't play with. She's 7.5 months, and has been crawling for about a month. I want to let her explore, but I guess our place just isn't ready. We have a safety gate, but I don't want to use it, because I feel like that'd be fencing her in. I'm with her 95% of the time. One thing she constantly gets is paper. She loves paper of any kind. However, she chews on it, rips it, gets bits in her mouth, and I'm afraid of the dyes, and choking on it. The other thing lately is dust bunnies. I really need to vacuum!
I've had to pry her mouth open to get stuff out of her mouth, and I don't like doing that, but what can I do? Sometimes I don't even know what she's got. She's still putting everything she finds in her mouth. How long does that stage usually last?
I read somewhere on these boards about a family that had a their place so proofed that their child could go anywhere. I'd like to be that, so dd isn't anyways hearing "no". How can I do it?
post #2 of 7
well, first off you don't have to say "no". you can say "dd, paper's not for eating/putting in your mouth. it's for drawing on. teething biscuits (or O's or whatever you like to give her) are for eating." or give her something else appropriate to chew on -- rattle or whatever.

then, it's just a matter of moving the stuff you don't want her to get into to places a little kid can't get. put papers and other stuff she shouldn't get up on top of the bookshelf and her toys on the bottom shelves. it's not like you have to completely move everything into another room -- just put it up higher or in cabinets that she can't open. i think you know what to do about the dust bunnies. we have tons of those, too, (2 dogs) but luckily dd was never too interested in them.

the putting in mouth stage can last a long time. it just depends on the kid. i'd say my kid was still putting lots of stuff in her mouth at 18mo, but some kids run through it by a year or so.

we use a baby gate on our stairs, but the rest of our house has been pretty much free reign for the kiddo.

post #3 of 7
I didn't say no much, dd only started saying herself at 21 months. I used to say "not for babies" or give an explanation. Maybe I went a little oveboard, but our house is small and as baby-proofed as possible.

Dd helped me do it, everything she got into something I didn't think was ok, I found a new place for it, locked it up, or locked it closed. I did use a baby gate to keep her on the main floor, and I didn't feel there was any fencing going on .

We have cupboard locks, a toilet lock, tot locks on the entertainment unit, and dh built our computer desk to completely hide the box and wires. She never could get into the fridge or stove, but the stove drawer is safe for her and she also has one cupboard in the kitchen with safe stuff in it. Her room was easy, just books and toys anyway. Our room has one dresser with no handles on it, heh heh. Our dining room is slowly getting it's chairs back :LOL.

I looked at it as a challenge. I wanted her to be safe, without me hovering all the time.

post #4 of 7
I tend to use the phrase, "Not for DD; this [hand her something she can have] is for DD." I usually try to also get her to willingly hand over whatever I don't want her to have. Sometimes, I tickle her or joke w/ her...whatever I can do to remove the undesirable object from her w/ the least amt of fuss. I rarely use the word "no." I just hate the way many 2 year olds run around saying "no" to everything. I generally try to redirect DD in a fun way (by getting her involved in a game of peel-a-boo or turning on music for her to dance to). So far, this works well.
post #5 of 7
BTDT!! Lots of god advice here. My dd was a paper eater too. I was just absolutely vigilant about keeping things up high. Get into the habit, it only becomes more challenginig when they are on 2 legs and can reach higher. It takes them about a miinute and a half from pulling up to figure out standing on thier tippy toes to reach the forbidden object!!

I REALLY try to use the philosophy of "control the environment, not the child". That being said, there are some cabinets in the house that are locked and some she can open. We have toilet locks. We only have one floor, so we don't have a gate, but I do have a mesh guard rail under my computer desk so she can't crawl under and get the cords.

When dd does get something I'd rather she not have, I try distraction. I explain, and now that dd is alittle older (12 months) I will let her explore some things I'd rather she not have (breakables, whatever) with me sitting there helping her be gentle. Of course once she is disinterested- that thing goes away!!

goota run DD calls!
post #6 of 7

Dust bunnies.

OK, So vacuum!

While distracting children with a rattle or something may work, it is not reaching the root of it. Children at that age need to put this stuff in their mouths!


Wash some wool, cut and fluff it into a ball, give it to her.

Once she's fully investigated the nature of the stuff, she'll leave it alone.

Child proofing.

Starts by getting everything 18" off the floor.

post #7 of 7
I wanted to comment on the baby gate statement. I think that, when considerately used, baby gates are not a bad thing. I have 2 baby gates, but don't use them all the time. I mostly use them to gate off a room that could be dangerous for DD at that time (like the kitchen when the oven/stove is on). Also, I gate off the hall sometimes to keep DD from wandering off down there. I cannot close all the doors b/c the cats have their litter box in the hall bathroom and need free access to that room. I'd rather gate off an area than constantly pull DD away from it, KWIM? Less frustration for both of us.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Gentle Discipline
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Gentle Discipline › DD always hearing "No"