DH agreed to meet with hb midwife!

[Stacymom]

I am so excited! I (gently and not so gently) manipulated dh into meeting with a hb midwife this coming week. I never, ever thought it would happen!

He has been so opposed to hb- we had an emergency uc on our last birth, and I think that really, really impacted him. (He ended up catching the baby on the side of the road on the way to the hospital.) I've been working on the idea of hb the whole time we were ttc, and he's been so, so against it. I think if he actually meets the midwife, talks through some of his concerns, it may start to open his mind a little bit.

I gradually wore him down on the topic of circumcision by basically telling him that if he refused to research, he would have to abide by my decisions. Now, I'm hoping the next eight months will give him enough time to be swayed towards homebirth! I've made contact with a few people in my area that have had hb's with this midwife, and have phone numbers and emails for a few supportive husbands that he can contact. We're on our way!

I'm so excited! :

[laohaire]

An "emergency" UC or an unexpected one?

An unexpected UC is - very understandably - a huge stress on most men (if they are the ones catching/assisting). They seem to feel that a home birth is the same as an unexpected UC, even though a home birth with a midwife is not even slightly related to an unexpected UC at the side of the road on the way to the hospital.

I'm very happy for you! Hopefully your DH will see how this is very different from your previous birth!

[MotheringHeart]

There is an awesome article in the latest mothering about this very topic. It is written by a Dad who's wife did a bunch of research and decided that she wanted to birth at home. The DH talks about what he read and his thought processes. You might want to check it out!

Congrats on getting him to meet w/the midwife. I've found that once they can ask their questions, they find it's not such a scary thing!

[OkieMama2three]

:
Congratulations on making it this far. I've read about a lot of dad's being dead set against HB only to finally meet w/the MW and then be a hugh supporter of HB. Hope it's true for your DH as well. GL!

[Emmeline II]

You have plenty of time, just have your dh at as many appointments as possible.

[Funny Face]

So happy for you! I think talking to the midwife should be a HUGE help in making him see the validity or your desire. I wanted a hb and I just knew if I could at least get my dh to meet with a midwife I'd have a much better chance of him getting on board. Unfortunately he wouldn't meet with a mw

I think this is a good sign for you and I'm sending you strong hb vibes!!!

Good luck!

[2+twins]

IMO, getting your dh to interview the mw is the biggest thing. Once there, be sure you or he asks all the tough questions - that way he'll be able to see that she can handle on her own most "emergencies" and will be in a good position to transfer care in plenty of time if needed.

[georgannemomof6]

Woohoo!

My dh was very against hb, at first, too! After lots of reading, and talking to our mw, he agreed (At first mention of hb, he said, "NOT A CHANCE!"...LOL!) After a wonderful hb, he looked at me and said "See, I told ya this was the way to go! "
He's very sarcastic!

[coobabysmom]

Oh this is great! Do share how the appointment went...

[Eaglevoice]

My Dh was supportive of my hb choices, but my mother was dead set against it. Of course, my mom wasn't going to sway my decision to have my baby at home, but I just really wanted to be able to talk to her about it without her freaking out on me about it. So I brought her to an appt with my mw and let her bombard the mw with questions. When we left she had a complete change of heart and now supports it 100% to the point of bragging about my homebirth to her friends and co-workers. I think just being able to sit down and hear the statistics come straight our of the mw's mouth helps to calm any apprehension right away. I would gather a list of tough questions to ask the mw, just in case your dh doesn't ask them, just so you know he's getting the most information possible. Homebirths are wonderful. This is a very big step!