Reflections on my boy's first b-day

[asherah]

Caleb turned one year old on 5/3.
He's a marvel.. and every day with him is a blessing, even the hard ones.

Also a marvel.. my own transformation into a mother.. and a totally different person.
I just wanted to share some reflections on what I've learned.. and I'd love if you'd share some of what mothering has taught you:

1) I have found a deep well of patience I never knew I had. Apparently I CAN stay calm and loving under extreme pressure and frustration.. not to mention sleeplessness.

2) I am now an advocate for children and other parents. I have really realized that we are all one.. and when any child is hurt, I hurt. When any child is unsafe, mine is too.

3) For the first time I am acting against cultural values and questioning authority in a quiet, gentle way.. searching out what is best for my child.. not just trying to be a rebel or getting in someone's face.

4) I am putting someone else first.. and working on myself and my weaknesses with new inspiration.. and less angst. Because it isn't just about ME.. it's about expressing my truth in the world to make it a better place for my boy.

5) I'm just NICER. and maybe softer. More accepting of myself, more tolerant of others. I don't burn with the same career ambitions I used to put first.. and that's actually OK with me.

6) I'm becomming an optimist.. because I HAVE to be one for my boy.

7) I am learning to let go more gracefully.

I have a long way to go, as a mom and a wife and a sister and a daughter and a friend and a writer and a worker and a spiritual seeker and all the other things I am.
But my boy is the best teacher I have ever had.. so I am getting more confidence in myself.

Love to all you other parents. We're on an amazing journey, and I'm very glad to be on it with all of you.

[Piglet68]

What a wonderful post, asherah!

My DD will be turning one in July. I, too, have been reflecting on this past year. I will share some of what I've learned, even though they are quite similar to what you wrote:

1) learning to live for another person. life was all "me" centered before, which is okay, but it's really neat to be living life largely for someone else now. it feels like a major milestone of Life.

2) learning the magic of mothers. I feel their pain more acutely, I am aware of that bond and how it affects us physically and emotionally. i feel privy to a whole new world of experience that only mothers know of. and, like you said, it makes me recognize the connection we all have. the "enemy" is somebody's child, was somebody's baby once.

3) to truly understand what it means to know that I would give my life for my DD, without hesitation and without question. I am awed by this. By the fact that I have that in me. It makes me love myself more, somehow.

4) just all the joys I have experienced with DD. how fast time goes by. how little the "little things" mean in that context. every time I feel frustrated by her need for me I remind myself how fast it has all gone by. some days I look at her and feel she isn't even a baby anymore. these feelings help me live life one moment at a time.

Congratulations on a year of mothering, asherah. I agree that being here has made the journey all the more wonderful and special!

[granolamom]

Ditto, ditto , ditto.....

Peace to you,
Granolamom

[Liz]

Wonderfully said, ladies! It's all so true. The one thing I would add is I know I have to work on valuing my relationship with my husband as much as I do my relationship with my child. My son and I are growing in leaps and bounds but often leave my husband behind.