My mom is driving me crazy - Page 2

[kelly1827]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Also, aybe try printing out the 101 great things about BFing (or whatever it's called) list from www,kellymom.com - maybe a little education is in order?

I'm a big kellymom fan, but you're thinking of the 101 Reasons to Breastfeed by Leslie Burby of ProMoM:
http://www.promom.org/101/index.html
She just updated all the citations last year, too. The main reason I love the 101 Reasons is because with the references to scientific literature you can use it for doctors, nurses, or "lay persons" who hang off the hallowed words of medical folks. Oh, and I used to be a scientist, so it also appeals to the lab geek in me! Seriously though, it's easy to read and the Adobe version has pretty graphics too!

For the OP, consider that maybe your mom feels threatened because you're doing things differently than she did, and might be feeling kinda insecure. I'm not saying to let her slide on this, but approaching it from a point of compassion might be something to think about.

[fly-mom]

nak

I have actually had my ped write a note to my mother before. She (ped) was telling me that dd was doing great and to continue with the BF, and I jokingly asked her if she could write my mom a note saying that. She didn't bat an eye, but grabbed her prescription pad and wrote something like this "Grandma, {baby} is perfect. Not starving. Recommend continuing breastfeeding. Then scribbled her name at the bottom.

[stockingup99]

I'd leave a copy of a nursing mother's guide to weaning out. I love that book. Each chapter starts with why you shouldn't wean at that age, listing the benefits to the baby for each age. The title is something which would catch her eye, but the content is very good listing why it's best not to wean now. :

[Janice in Canada]

You can try providing information as suggested in the many posts above...

But, I think another angle that needs to be addressed, is your mom's feelings about you doing something different than she did, and how she feels about that, and can work through that.

I assume that your mom didn't breastfeed, or if she did, it didn't last long, or go very successfully. You need to talk about her bfing experience, and help her work through her feeling about why it didn't work out. Emphasize that the system did not support breastfeeding then, and that it is not HER fault, and you are NOT doing this to criticize her, or "show her up". Is there other differences in your parenting - ie use of car seats?

As we know better, we do better. You know better, and can do better.

If your mom cannot/will not discuss this, and work through it - then you will have to draw a line, that her comments and discussion about starving, etc are OFF LIMITS.

There will be other conflicts in opinion between you - you need to take a stand for yourself. It's part of growing up, and is very common for first time moms. They get pushed around alot - if it wasn't breastfeeding, it very likely would be something else. Everyone tries to influence 1st time moms. By the time you have your 2nd child, you will have established your parenting style, and people will leave you alone.

HUGS you will get through this.

Janice