Depersonalization, GAD, blah blah blah..wein off Meds entirely?

[faith21]

It's me again...

Okay, here's the breakdown. Panic attacks in October, afterward 24/7 Extreme Anxiety, followed by terrifying OCD thoughts, diagnosed GAD, OCD, Panic Disorder. (Haven't had a panic attack since)

My opinion ? I had a good old fashion nervous breakdown.

Now, I have the lovely gift of Depersonalization.

I'm still feeling depersonalized which my psych says is not a disorder in itself. 'Just don't focus on it'...But, it's awful. I have it 24/7, and I am not focusing on the symptoms, but I am getting fed up with them. It didn't hit until I stopped taking Ativan ... yet the replacement of Klonopin hasn't helped. I am on .75 of Zoloft and I am ready to wein myself off of all of it. I am so tired of the meds game already, this is my first time on SSRI's Anti-X's, and I don't ever feel better. Yes, I am not suicidal, I am not crying 10 times a day, that seems to be enough for my psych to not want to change my meds, but just keep increasing the Zoloft. Granted I do not have the OCD as frequently, the intrusive thoughts are much easier to handle. BUT, I am still sad, disconnected, frustrated, flat, anxious, non sexual, which doesn't help me and DH stay intimate. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. I jump at the chance to not go to work, and I am the main supporter of our family. So, I am back to why get out of bed ? To live in the world of Alice in Wonderland .... I just want to move forward and I am stuck!!!

Talking to my therapist once a week helps, right when I get out of the office I feel better. But, then it all returns. Has anyone experienced Depersonalization before ? Should I just wein myself off meds all together ? I also miss my ocassional glass of wine and just relaxing with friends. Instead I'm the oddball while our family and friends come over , too distracted to sit and laugh, too disconnected.

i'd rather not be on Benzos, but then I get massive rebound anxiety. Like a crackhead, twitching , sweating. arggggghhh. If I am going to be on SSRI than I want it to work like it has for other people. In which they feel a change, a positive one, and where hope is restored.

I should just stop the meds and restore my own hope.

for the mamas patient enough to read, thank you, I value you more than you know. . . .

[canadianchick]

I am not an expert my any means but I do work in the mental heath field and I have suffered my share of mental health issues. My suggestion would be to either switch meds, go to someone else if you have to or increase your Zoloft. You should be feeling better than you are. I'm not sure on the dosage of Zoloft, I'll check on this and post again. I, too, hate taking meds but I know how crappy I feel when I am not on them and my motto is.... they will have to pry my Lexapro from my cold, dead hands. Hang in there.

[Papooses]

I have anxiety + depression + dissociation + depersonalization.... Zoloft didn't do much for me, Prozac had me raging : : Lexapro works for me in combination with some behavioral changes -- no one drug or therapy is perfect for everyone

• Is your therapist also prescribing the meds or does someone else do that?
• Who's monitoring the medications?
• How many weeks have you been on the same medication without any noticeable improvement?
• How long have you seen this therapist?

Also, if you don't mind my asking ... what kind of therapy are you in? (Psychoanalysis, EMDR, CBT, DBT, etc.) Do you know of any other therapists in the area or an advocacy center where you might be able to discuss therapy options & receive recommendations for therapists who use a particular method?

How you doing right now? (((((HUGS)))))

[faith21]

Im doing okay. I see my therapist on Saturdays for Talk/CBT Therapy, I'm trying to replace my negative self talk with positive instead. Since cutting down to 50 mg of Zoloft I feel a lot better. That increase plus ativan withdraw had me in a bad place. Right now, I am feeling disconnected still...
depersonalization is there, I'm trying very much to ignore it, but as you know it's a secret pain no one understands. My Psychologist nor my Psychiatrist (whom I only see to get meds prescribed) believe that the depersonalization is anything more than me feeling disconnected because of my meds. But, it's more than that, so much more. Anyhow, you guys have been a guiding light through this, I find that I am more often making my own decisions regarding what I'm going through I.E cutting the Zoloft back down to 50mg. I actually hope that the depersonalization is caused by the Zoloft, wouldn't that be such an easy fix ? Instead, the OCD side of me researched and found that some often suffer for years and years once the DP hits, without relief. I've been on Zoloft for 12 weeks now. The same amount of time that I have been seeing my therapists. I thought naively if I took all the right steps to try and get better....I would. Now I understand so much more about mental health and the process of healing.

When I initially took the zoloft my Primary Care doctor gave me 50 mg and I was up for 2 days straight. I had never been on any type of anti-d or anti-x before. I think that should have been a clue ?

I've been reading that we are capable of balancing our own chemicals back to normal by therapy, relaxation, CBT etc. When do you know what's right for yourself ? You know you can't go back to the nightmare of when the anxiety/panic/OCD and DP initially hit. . . yet you just don't want to live in the 'dream' state anymore. I hope that I am making progress to full recovery, but it's hard to look at all of this objectively.

I hope that you are doing well, I am so happy that you have found the right mix for you....hugs back and have a good weekend...