Feeling Frustrated at 35.5 weeks

[MikoMum]

I don't know where to start! I had wanted a homebirth with our first daughter but due to moving to a remote area during pregnancy and being unable to find a midwife we had our beautiful girl in the hospital. It was a mostly positive experiance, due to the fact that I had educated myself and had a pretty 'easy' birth.

I was able to locate a local midwife who flies under the radar (very experianced but not certified or insured). I liked her when I first met her at 6wks and felt she was capable. I vaguely knew of two of her clients. Then she went almost 3 months without returning phone calls, partly my fault, partly hers, partly fluke. I didn't know if I was 'confirmed' as a client the entire time. She only takes 10 clients a year in addition to her teaching job but she had knee surgery in November, which I was unaware of until weeks afterwards. I have only seen her 3 times since my first consult, 2 times at my home, once at hers. She hit the ditch and canceled her last appointment in mid Decemeber, then Christmas chaos, then she had a mama due any day and didn't want to travel the opposite direction (understandable). She said she'd call. She hasn't. She said she'd locate a birth pool for me. Still hasn't happened, it's too late to get one out of the US now and Canada Post is a scary thing to rely on. The real kicker is that she booked her holidays RIGHT before my duedate (38 weeks-39.5 weeks) with no backup. My backup is to go to the hospital and get whatever Dr. happens to be on call.: : : She assured me that if she misses the birth all her fees will be refunded. That's NOT the point!!!! This is my last birth.

I should add that I've also been seeing my family doctor, Eva, who has been wonderful but she doesn't do births since the tiny hospital in our town isn't equipped any longer with the Dr. shortage. So it's not like my midwife has been responsible for any testing etc.

I'm terrified of having to birth on my back again. Seriously, with my bad lower back I can't imagine anything more painful. I know I can refuse to get on the birthing bed. The hospital an hour away where I'd be having the baby is insanely busy though. We're in an economic/baby boom so the L&D ward and mat ward are super cramped. I've had two friend have their babies in triage. Not exactly where I want to be pushing out a baby on my hands and knees.

I've briefly considered going unassisted but I honestly don't feel that DH and I are up for it. DH has been having (still) undiagnosed small seizures and had one severe one at work which had everyone terrified since he wasn't breathing (thank goodness for wonderful local paramedics!) He's been undergoing MRI's, CT scans and EEGs---not to mention the fact he's not allowed to drive. I just don't think it's fair to ask him to be my solo birth caretaker at this time. It's just a stressful time for both of us.

I don't know if I'm asking for guidence or just venting.

If any mamas would like to send me their 'late' vibes that will keep this babe in place until at least her due date, I'd be welcome to take them!

[tsfairy]

Sending late baby vibes your way!

Can you hire a doula, or have someone else there just to help out if UC becomes your best option?

[Blue Dragonfly]

Hugs mama - I hope everything goes ok for you here. Do you have a friend who can give your DH some back up support? (at least to run interference in the hospital - knock on wood you don't have to go there). Or, as another back up plan, what if you waited until the very last minute and went to the hospital you're close to? Its not like they would kick you out if the baby was crowning just to transfer you, and then you (your friend) could call your Dr.

If I think of anything else I will let you know,

xxR

[krismarie]

i was thinking what pp said... just keep trusting that you'll be *late* but have a plan that one or more friends could be there to help out??

sending **late** vibes to you

[MikoMum]

I've thought about going to the tiny local hospital at the very last minute (it's less than a block away and a really wonderful newly renovated facility---the ambulance station is literally across the street from us)). I think I'd have to play that by ear since there are only 3 doctor's that work there and often there isn't even a doctor in the building. I like and 'trust' 2 of the doctors, the other one is a complete quack. In the words of my SIL, an RN, 'I wouldn't take my ant farm to Dr. &^%$#'. So if I went into labor we'd probably call over and see who's on call.

I plan on having my Mom with us if we are able to have the baby on my midwife's schedule but she isn't that great under pressure and knows next to nothing about birth. I can't think of any of my friends that would fare much better. I've thought about asking my SIL, the RN who I love and respect but I think it may put her in an awkward postion if she's not comfortable with the idea (she's a public health nurse--actually the one who comes and does the well baby checks after baby is born) She's often not available either because of work or traveling commitments with my niece and nephews and their sports.

I'm actually not too worried about having someone run interference at the hospital in the event I have to go---I did well with that last time with the exception of birthing on my back, I hung out in the shower though most of my labor and the nurses were more than happy to check me in there. Honestly that was my fault as I didn't realize I had a choice to NOT birth on my back.


I will not have this baby until the 5th...I will not have this baby until the 5th...I will not.....:

Thanks!

[georgannemomof6]

I have to agree w/pp....try to find a trusted friend to come help out with dd, dh, food, cleanup, that sort of thing!
And remember, having a baby is not a medical procedure!LOL Baby knows how to come out, we (women) just need to "let it happen"...no mw or dr needs to tell you "how" to do it!
And you yourself said that you have a great emt team nearby, so in the very, very rare chance, that baby or mom is having some difficulties, you'll be all set!
*I* would talk to the mw, tell her, that if she is unavailable, you're planning on staying home, and she'll probably give ya some pointers!
I tell ya, ya hear so many stories of women and girls having babies in toilets, on airplanes, in cars, even in TREES! ! and I rarely hear of them not doing well, unless harm was intentional

Anyway, I just wanted to offer support, and agree with PP, I'm rambling a bit today, exhaution has set in, as 4 1/2 mo has decided he doesn't want to sleep at night anymore!

[georgannemomof6]

OH! I also wanted to add.......

that if you decided to wait til the last minute, and go to the hospital to birth, you will have succeeded in avoiding interventions in LABOR, but once you birth there, baby becomes THEIR patient, and refusal of eye ointment, vitK and PKU testing, just to name of few procedures, could, in some states, lead to a CPS investigation!:
ok, off the soapbox, now!