Frustrated to say the least!!!!!!!!! (Vent)

[miguelsmom]

I don't even know where to start because I'm so grumpy right now I can't even begin to understand why. First off may I say I know things could be worse, but I have spent my whole pregnancy preparing for...labor really. Well that appears to be the problem ITS NOT HAPPENING and I am 41 weeks today.
Everyday I think somethings happening but it stops and as of yesterday I have not progressed at all!! It almost appears that as if I have been regressing. A month ago I was told I was 90% effaced and 1 1/5 cm dilated and each time I've gone in it has become less and less. Now I'm just a fingertip (barely) dilated and 70% effaced. Mind you, each exam has been done by a different midwife, so that may affect the exams... but I really think if people are going to share patients in a practice they should all have the same size hands!!!!!
So I guess the real issue is that they have scheduled me for a possible induction on the 16th (my dh bday) and I've really not wanted to go through that again. Yesterday they did a fluid check and although my levels are normal they are on the lower end so I have to have another ultrasound on Wednesday and if it hasn't gotten better they want to push up the induction to Thursday or Friday. But if everything is ok they will check fluid AGAIn : on Friday and then Monday they will insert a cervical catheder???? to help me start dilating. Then if I have dilated enough they will break my water on Tuesday and maybe just maybe no pitocin but I think it's inevitable.
I can't say I've tried everything, I really wanted my little one to have every chance to come out on her own. My frustration is really with my own body, I feel like there's something wrong with me. Why am I not dilating? I realize a lot can happen in a week but in my hormonal state, things aren't looking so promising.
Then there are the phone calls, DEAR GOD THE PHONE CALLS!!!!!! "no, no baby yet- yes, we'll keep you posted"

I love my baby, I know she's in there this long for a reason, but I just have to wonder about my own body-since it appears that my mom never went into labor on her own either. We both suffer with different forms of hypothyroidism and were talking about that possibly effecting things???? I don't know. Anyway I think I'm done typing now since my fingers have started to tingle again. IF you've gotten this far your a saint and I appreciate your time.

:

[wendyk]

Will spare you any platitudes about how the baby will come when she's ready. Blah, blah blah. If I were you, I'd need to vent too. Hope it helped a little, though we all know that the only thing that will really help are contractions resulting in cervical dilation!

Hang in there mamma!

[captain optimism]

Don't take the phone calls. Go do something relaxing, like taking a bath or watching or reading something that always makes you laugh. I am pretty sure that the reason I had this problem when I had my son was from stress, which can send your body signals to stop labor. Oh yeah, by the way--stress is not your fault. Especially if lots of people are bugging you about the baby.

[skueppers]

This may not be at all relevant to your situation, but I was neither dilated nor effaced when I went into labor with my daughter. I'm expecting the same to happen this time around.

Anyway, having no "progress" prior to the actual onset of labor isn't that unusual. It's just how some people are.

[milkmommie]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I've gone two weeks overdue with all three of my kids. I'm 39 weeks now so we'll see how this one goes. The waiting is almost unbearable and with all the pressure from the "professionals", it's easy to start doubting your body.

You might try to do something that will rekindle your strength and faith in your body's ability to birth naturally. Distract yourself with daily life if you can. Try to let go and trust. Do something nice that will make you feel pampered. Maybe you could squeeze in a prenatal massage in the next few days?

Your body CAN do it. Make up a positive mantra in your head and use it when all those "negative voices" start creeping in!!

[miguelsmom]

Thanks ladies, I feel a lot better now that it's not so early in the morning (hey an hour these days can make all the difference)
Sometimes all ya need is a little reminder from your DDC to get ya going again.

[katie9143]

I was due yesterday and it seems like nothing is happening here either! I can feel your pain. My mom never went into labor on her own with any of her three deliveries - and as much as I wasnt too worried about it, kinda assuming that she had just needed more time, I am definitely thinking about it now. I bet it is stress - now if we can just figure out how to let go of all that!!!

Good Luck.

[BrooklynDoula]

Not in your DDC (May for me) but I wanted to chime in about stress and labor. I was really frustrated when ds was not coming and so ready to be done being pg and freaking out about the tests they were scheduling for me because he had not come yet, etc. Finally, I took an afternoon completely off (no work, no kids, no list of things to do) and I did some gentle stretching, put on music I liked, ate a favorite light snack, and layed down in bed. I have an internal conversation with my body, releasing my fears and really 'readying' myself for the labor and such. Sounds a little hookey, I know, and I am not usually and big new ager or anything, but I felt like I was the reason I was not in labor - my stress, my fears, etc. So, I have the conversation with myself and the baby - really expressing how ready I was, sending off the intentions and really relaxing and breathing and focusing on the labor process beginning. I feel asleep. I woke up 2 hours later in labor and had our son the following day. A friend of mine who was due after me and suddenly scheduled for induction because of some issues with her liver. We talked about this and how much she did not want the induction. She did the same thing, layed down at 10 pm and talked with herself. She woke up from her nap in labor also and gave birth ar 6am, 1 hour before the scheudle induction

I think that women have a lot of power to manifest the labor and birthing processes (and to stall them, as the case may be). Clearly this is not always true and might now work for many people, but it worked we for me and my friend, and hopefully it might work for you!

Sending lots of vibes for you labor to begin and your baby to be in your arms.

[ibusymomto5]

I'm one who doesn't make any progress until I'm actually in real labor, and I usually go past my due date. I guess it's just the way I am. I do eventually go into labor on my own, though I always start doubting that I will at the very end. And, my last few labors have been pretty quick, 3-5hrs.

I've never actually done it, but I've had thoughts of changing our answering machine message to something like this during that last couple of weeks especially once I'm overdue..

"Hi, you've reached the _______ household. No we haven't had the baby yet, and yes mom and baby are doing fine. If we don't answer or return your call soon, mom is more than likely busy with the other children or indulging in a much needed nap. Rest assured that when something does happen, we will notify all those interested as time permits. God Bless & Have a Great Day!"

[swtpesq]

Kate, I feel for you!

My due date is tomorrow, and I'm already feeling the same way...I think because for some odd reason, everyone and their uncle told us this baby was going to come early, so I already feel overdue! : And I'm constantly wondering whether my body is up to this task...and whether it can do it on its own or will need some "coaxing".

I hope you're able to relax and enjoy the day. I'm sending "no induction" vibes...

[Shenandoah]

[Grayson's Mom]

Hugs

Miguel'sMom, don't worry. We are all here for you. I know it is so frustrating you just want to scream!

Doctor's, Midwives, ect. shouldn't even give us a due date. It should be like a due week or something. Then there wouldn't be all this pressure that I am sure stresses ourself and our body out. Therefore clamming up the whole system. With my 1st daughter I was so sure that I was going to go late. What a surprise when my water broke at 38 1/2 weeks. (Of course I had to be induced as labor didn't start naturally for me.) So this time around I kept thinking (and EVERYBODY kept telling me) that I would go early again. No such luck. I also keep thinking that maybe my body just can't go into labor naturally. It is all very frustrating. I'm sorry for all of us.

Being 9 (really 10) months pregnant SUCKS! :
Love ya, girlies!

[angel0123]

I can relate I feel like my body is doomed not to go into labour without pit. I had it last time with no real contractions and now I have had contractions off and on for a wk and still no more than 1 cm dilated.

Turn on the answering machine leave the message saying baby isn't here yet we will let you know whe s/he comes. Take a bath and have a cup of tea.

Hope your body figures out what to do without the drugs/inducement.

((HUGSS)))

[NewEyes]

Ok, you and I need to start the over due-date club for moral support! Had to take ds to preschool today & endure "but we thought we'd get to meet the baby by now".

My anxiety is baby size. I just can't face giving birth to another 10lb baby & having to heal from that. I was 12 days over last time & for some reason really didn't think that would happen twice to me!

Hang in there!

[MacKinnon]

Hang in there mamas I went 11 days over with DD and I am beginning to accept that this baby probably isn't going to come early either! It's such a LONG freakin' wait! I tried to tell myself from the beginning of this pregnancy not to expect DS until late January, but I let myself be tricked by measuring ahead, late u/s, into believing I might go two or three weeks early. So, now everyone seems to think that I should have had the baby already and I am not even late yet! It's going to be a long wait! You will have this baby mama, you will! Just hang in there, try not to think about it. That's when my DD finally turned up, when I gave up!

[jilly]

I went 41 weeks with my last baby and it is so frustrating. I was so discouraged I practially locked myself into the house for the last two weeks and just refused to go anywhere, see anyone, or talk on the phone to anyone but supportive friends. It was a miserably hot August and Sept, too.

This time I"m at 39 weeks and the IL's have already started phoning once a week just to "see how we're doing" -- as if we wouldn't call them if we'd had the baby.