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Are you a Bio Mom or a Step Mom?

post #1 of 67
Thread Starter 
I have a poll of sorts. I was wondering how many of us are step moms and how many are bio moms that have children who have step moms. Is it about half and half?? Just curious!

- Elizabeth :

Me - Stepmom to Angelica (6) with no bio kids.
post #2 of 67

Here's the breakdown in order of age:

Stepson - 26
Stepdaughter - 26
Stepdaughter - 19 (with step grandson - 10 months)
Stepdaughter - 18
Stepdaughter - 17
Bio son - 10
Bio son - 6
post #3 of 67
I'm both, I suppose. We've got

18 y/o dd from dh's first marriage
6 y/o ds and 4 y/o dd from my first marriage
1 week old ds

My xh is getting married this summer. His fiance is really great and I'm thrilled that she's going to be E and C's stepmother!
post #4 of 67
all the above! here's our breakdown...

ds 16 also has stepmom
dss 10 theoretically has a stepdad
dss 9 theoretically has a stepdad
dd 6
and hopefully at least one more to come!

we have the mixed bag here... my middle boys have been with us since they were 23 months and 9 months respectively, so they know no difference. their biomom has bounced in and out for years, so i'm the only consistent mom that they've ever really known. we don't use the "step" moniker as it has never really taken with us. the kids are the kids... the parents are the parents. i wish i could say it was always this smooth, but this is where we are.
post #5 of 67
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by BunnyMcFluff View Post
I'm both, I suppose. We've got

18 y/o dd from dh's first marriage
6 y/o ds and 4 y/o dd from my first marriage
1 week old ds

My xh is getting married this summer. His fiance is really great and I'm thrilled that she's going to be E and C's stepmother!
It is awesome that you guys get along. I wish I had that kind of relationship with DH ex and Angelica's BM. I wonder if maybe it's different because the situation is somewhat reversed for us. I'm Angelica's full time mom and have been for as long as she can remember and she has almost no memory of her BM. So maybe BM feels threatened? But anyway, Congrats for you!

Kosheng, I don't really like the "step" part of it either. I would never treat Angelica differently than any other child I might have and I would hope she would not treat me differently in a negative way because I am not her BM. When I asked about the differences here on the board I asked because at first I thought it was more women who are in my situation i.e. a stepmom. I've seen more and more posts though about women who have bio kids that have stepmoms. It is awesome that you can all blend together. I've often wondered if Angelica would feel different or left out if her dad and I had children. To be honest, that has more to do with the age difference than her not being biologically mine. She is already 6 and we don't see any new additions in the next couple of years. Sigh. I had really hoped she would have siblings she could be close with.
post #6 of 67
I think I've got all of the abbreviations straight. I'm new to all of this. So, I've got one dss (age 12, lives in England with his bm which is a bummer), one dd (age 9, lives with us), and one on the way, due in March. I always wanted to have a baby closer in age to my dd, but I think it turned out this way because this is what I can handle.

My ex has not remarried and doesn't have a girlfriend at this point. I've not been crazy about his girlfriends in the past-- just because they're a bit froo froo-- but I do get along with him really well these days.
post #7 of 67
I am a stepmom. There is SD 17, SS 15, DS 4, DS 2, DD 10mos. We have some issues with the kids/family stuff. Since the kids are older, it's a bit better now but we have very little contact w/ them out of scheduled visitation times. DH sometimes gets an im or email from them but their mom has pretty successfully limited their relationship so it's still being rebuilt.
post #8 of 67

I have five children. Three of them are from my own body. The older two are my former spouse's former wife's children. (not bio to my former spouse)

I am their "other mother."

Ages, 19, female and pregnant; 17 female; 10 male; 8 female; and the baby... 26 months and a boy. :

Crap., how did I get so many kids?
post #9 of 67
I'm not a mom, but I play one on TV?

Just a stepmom. And, seeing as DH has had a vasectomy, it's pretty likely to stay that way.

Sometimes I feel like an imposter on this board but... it's the only forum I've found where people are understanding of non-mainstream ideas. I'm so happy it has this section!
post #10 of 67
All of the above.

Stepmom to 3
Biomom to 3 (but 1 is from previous marriage)
My ds has a stepmom too.
post #11 of 67
I'm both. I have 3 stepchildren and 4 biochildren. 2 of my biochildren have a stepmom. Confused yet? :
post #12 of 67
Bio of 2 but different fathers. 1 stepmom in the picture (married to dd's dad) and we get along just fine. Not kissy/huggy, but no hate or animosity either and I'd like to keep it that way. Keeping the peace is why I visit this board...
post #13 of 67
I'm a bio mom, marrying again (so my children will soon have a stepfather) and they have a step mom as well.

Interesting thread, thanks for posting!
post #14 of 67
Bio mom to 4 girls.
3 of my girls have a stepmother (Grrrrrrrrrr...........: )
Step mom to 2 boys and a girl.
post #15 of 67
bio mom to:
ds -7

stepmom to:
dss -11

No stepmom's for my kiddos, thankfully (not that I think there is anything wrong with stepmoms, I am a pretty good one, but I am glad I am my kiddos only momma )
post #16 of 67
I am a bio mom (3 boys), I don't have any stepkids and my kids don't have a step mom (they never see their dad). But the oldest do have a step dad (my current husband and dad to the baby). Not that we ever use that term, but there are problems just blending in one person.
post #17 of 67
I'm both.

SS18 - Ex-husband's from a relationship before he met me

DS13 and DD11 - mine from my first marriage, 50/50 custody w/ biodad; they have a stepmom

SS9 - DH's from his first marriage, 50/50 custody w/ biomom; he has a stepdad

DS4 - the "ours" in "yours, mine, and ours"

I get along fabulously with my eldest kids' stepmom, am great friends with SS18's mom, and try never, ever to see or talk to SS9's mom. : I wish that relationship was better, but after all these years, I've accepted (somewhat) that it's just not ever going to be what I'd hoped it would be.
post #18 of 67
I've got 3 (almost 4) kids.

DDs1&2 are my DH's from his first marriage. They call me "mommy" and I've been in their lives since they were 2 1/2 and 18 months, respectively. They are now 7 and almost 5. They live with their biomom most of the time, although we're hoping that will change. Their biomom refers to me as their "second mom" and no one has ever questioned it since they look just like me anyway, at least DD2 does. Not sure how that happened.

DD3 is almost 9 months, and is my first biological child.
DS is due in about 6 weeks.

So, I'm a stepmom. My biological kid(s) live with me and DH (their father). Although my girls had no idea what a stepmom was, and had to ask me to define it for them because another little kid at school asked what stepmom meant. DD1 decided that it wounded mean, and that she never wanted to call me that. Their choice. We do what works for our family.
post #19 of 67
Stepmom to dss 11, married dh when dss was almost 5, and biomom to ds who is 3. When we first married, dss was with us full time. Now he is with us about 70%.
post #20 of 67
Thread Starter 
wow this is getting really confusing! : There are a lot more bm and step mom combos than I thought! Thanks for answering!

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