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Are you a Bio Mom or a Step Mom? - Page 3

post #41 of 67
I am both

I have sd 7
bio dd 6.5
"together" bio kids dd 2.5 and ds 1

my dd 6.5 has a step-dad (my dh) and a step-mom (her father's wife).
post #42 of 67
step to DSS 11, DSS 8 who we do not get to see, DD 8 from previous ''thing'', DD from DH 11 mo.
post #43 of 67
I am a bio mom, but 4 of my kids will soon have a step dad, and 3 of my kids at one point had a step mother (but they have since divorced)
post #44 of 67
My oldest ds is not my dh's bio son. I don't really post on this board b/c it seems to be more for stepparents and their issues. I get child support for ds1 (only b/c his wages are garnished), but his bio dad hasn't seen him since he was 9 mos old.
post #45 of 67
I'm a stepmom, but the kids feel more like my nephew and niece than stepkids really. Also DSD is technically not my stepdaughter, she's the-daughter-of-my-stepson's-mother-by-another-father... but we say stepdaughter, partly cause when she first heard DH and I were getting married she said "Yay, that means you're gonna be my stepmom!" and partly because it's a lot shorter than the above title!
post #46 of 67
I am just a bio mom x 2, no step kids. My oldest dd has a step mom and so that is what brought me by.
post #47 of 67
Hi there, here's my input:
DD 4, from previous relationship, doesn't know her bio dad at ALL!
DSD 4, DH's daughter from previous relationship, love her like she's mine!
DD 3, & DS due 7/07, ours together.

DH has raised DD 4, since she was one month old, her bio dad chooses not to be in her life. I have provided most of the childcare for DSD since she was 3 months and has lived with us several times for extended periods of time. I DO NOT get along with her mother, unfortunatly!!!
post #48 of 67
Stepmom to SD 9 and SS 6.5.

Biomom coming this October....

I have a bio-mom and stepmom, DH has mom, stepdad and dad...
post #49 of 67
I started my marriage as the custodial stepmom of 2 boys; the children that my DH made with his first wife. As a veteran of several stepmom-focused boards, I'll say right off that there is a WORLD of difference between the issues faced by custodial and visitation stepparenting. (And frankly, I think I got the easier end of the deal, from what I've seen!)

Soon after we married we added two more children, bringing his bio-total to 4, and mine to 2.

ALL BOYS. There are days I wonder if I'll survive.
post #50 of 67
I am both.

I have a 14 year old daughter.

and a 20 year old step daughter in college.
post #51 of 67

Both BM and SM

I am a BM of 1 ds (age 5) and a SM of 1 dsd (age 7). No bc with dh.
post #52 of 67
Step-mom (custodial) to DSD (3.5 years old)
Bio-mom to DD (3 mos old)
post #53 of 67
I have two bio kids - my kids have a step-mom and eventually I'll be a step-mom to three kiddos. My future dh and I won't have kids together.
post #54 of 67
Originally Posted by anj119 View Post
So, i am not a step mom
I am a mom whose dear daughter has a step mom
and that is what brings me to this forum.
i feel that it is important for me to include dd's step mom as a part of my immediate family and to take the right approach in my view of her
it is hard for me because she has very different views about parenting than i do
and, she is not going anywhere
and, she is not interested in adapting herself to parent my daughter in the way that i would
so, the best thing i can think to do is figure out how to support her relationship with my dd
i try to think about her positively and send her gentle good healing vibes and i try to understand her anger toward me and her jealousy
she is young still and insecure and feels the need to be 'better' than me.
its not a competition in fact we are so on the same team.....
i cant wait until she figures that out.

You are really something. I support what you're saying and totally understand this. I often say that a step-parent and a parents' love run parallel to each other - never intersecting. There is no need for competition because the relationships don't get in the way of one another.
It feels good to read your wise words.

I also admire that you support her relationship with your dd. This is what's best for your dd - you get this - how wonderful for your dd.
post #55 of 67
I'm a step-mom to my 11 year old step-daughter and 9 year old stepson and I have 2 kids myself, son who is 3 and a daughter who is 5 1/2 months.

I also had a step-mother all through my childhood but I try *NOT* to model her behaviour.
post #56 of 67
Originally Posted by Attached2Elijah View Post
I also had a step-mother all through my childhood but I try *NOT* to model her behaviour.
Growing up, I had two sets of step parents - one good and one evil. This has really given me perspective on how to be a step parent. I'm grateful for the experience.
post #57 of 67
My kids don't have a stepmom, nor am I one, but DD1 does have a stepdad. I hope you all don't mind my joining you here, since we sometimes have issues related to being a blended family that I'd like to be able to discuss with other parents in similar situation.
post #58 of 67
I am a mom, period.

My girl is technically my stepdaughter, but her "Angel Mommy" died when she was an infant, so I am adopting her and I do ALL the mothering. She knows about her Angel Mommy, but I get all the "Mommieeeeee!" cries, tantrums and snuggles. I don't know where I fit in, but I find the prefixes to not apply.
post #59 of 67
well, I started off as step-mom...sorta...dh had full custody of his ds from his first marriage, and ds had no memory of his bio mom (she left when he was only 5mo...don't even get me started!). Anyway, so she was 'birthmom' and I was mom...and then last year I adopted him legally, so now I'm 'mom' in every way...
So, ds 6--stepmom/adoptive mom
ds 2months--bio
post #60 of 67

mom of 2, dad of 3

My husband had raised one son when I met him. I don't count him as a child because the work was all done before me. We don't say 'step,' just mom and dad. I had our son 1 year and 3 days before our daughter was born to his previous wife. BF is totally uninvolved and BM is deceased. So technically I am a bio mom of one and a step mom of one, but I just say mom of 2
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