Homebirth and Pain Tolerance. Too Wimpy? - Page 2

[Spark]

I was a total wimpy woman before becoming a mom. I was SO scared about the pain & not being able to handle a homebirth with my 1st. But, I was more afraid of the hospital.

I had lots of childbirth classes to choose from but I chose HypnoBirthing because I wanted a pain free birth. I didn't get a pain-free birth with HypnoBirthing, but I had the confidence and the ability to get through birth. It was only the last 1 1/2 - 2 hours that really hurt anyway.

(And, I had MUCH better success in later births with a more comprehensive hypnosis program - Imagery Birthing, much like HypnoBabies, but less cheesy music.)

[jessemoon]

I'm a big wimp about pain.
I was terrified of labor. I had my 10.5 lb son at home. It hurt, but it was totally doable. It was different than other pain. I didn't believe people before he was born that I could do it, but I did. I'm now pregnant with #2 and still not looking forward to labor, but I know I can handle it. You can too.

Of course this doesn't mean that I don't still fall to the floor crying when I stub my toe.

[urbangoddess]

Thank You for this thread. I'm 38 wks so any day, and reading everyones story of just doing it has totally helped me psychologically and helped me feel even stronger with our planned hb for our second baby.
Erykah

[mamameg]

Originally Posted by SapphireDiva

I keep teling myself that these contractions won't be as bad because I won't have pit this time.

DING DING DING DING...... WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, this could not be more true. My first child's birth (2.5 years ago) was pit induced and I needed an epidural after about 10 hours. (Looking back, I don't know how I made it that long - the pain was excruciating and I was near blacking out and shaking uncontrollably!) My second child (most recent, he's 8 months old now) was an all natural labor at home until I was 10 cm. There is NO COMPARISON to pit contrx and natural contrx. They are so much more manageable.

You can do it!

[wwisdomskr]

My homebirth was not the quiet love-fest that I planned. Labor switched almost instantaneously into high gear while my dh and dd were out getting last minute supplies and right after I had told everyone that it would probably be *at least* a few hours before I needed them. By the time dh and dd returned home, I could no longer talk.

Things went FAST and I had a hard time integrating. I was loud and kept asking over and over again if everything was okay, if I was doing okay, if I was doing a good job, why things were going so fast, etc. Of course, I also said the ubiquitous "I can't do this, I can't do this!" It was frightening and overwhelming for our friends who had never attended a birth or given birth before. But, our midwives, our doula, my dh and dd were all fantastic. They said things were going just like they were supposed to be going, that I was doing fantastic, that the baby was fine...that I WAS doing it. I kept asking and they kept answering.

I later expressed embarrassment over this and our doula said she was so proud of me for asking for the validation that I needed in each moment...instead of holding it in and possibly allowing my fears and anxieties to interfere with my birth.

Certain positions were painful for me and I complained a lot. My primary midwife tried to explain that it was because my baby was RIGHT THERE, but she didn't interfere with me moving around and the other midwives suggesting different positions to me until I found the one that felt the best. I ended up on my hands and knees on the corner of a mattress on the floor. That would not have happened at the hospital. All of that moving and adjusting was essential because my baby decided to turn sideways while she was still in the birth canal. Who knows what would have happened if I was forced to lie down or be in the "c-position."

Dd and dh helped catch her new baby sister... It was heavenly. Our newborn and postpartum care was like a destination spa in comparison to being at the hospital...

The birth was more difficult than I expected. But, I did it! I didn't "demonstrate the peaceful, gentle, easy birth" that I wanted to for my friends...lol...but, I demonstrated that women are powerful and can overcome obstacles and challenges and still give birth naturally.

My first dd was 8 weeks premature and we had to fight for everything. I gave birth naturally...but it was still traumatizing...fighting off all of the interventions and threats. It took the warrior spirits of me, my dh and our doula to make it happen.

This time...it took a different kind of my own warrior spirit to get through it. In both of my births I reached that point where I asked myself why I was so crazy not to get drugs! But, in my second birth, I was so loved and well cared for and supported....and TRUSTED. Also, my family didn't have to be warriors to protect me from unnecessary interventions. My dd had the time of her life. My dh was able to relax and support me and enjoy the excitement of the birth of his new baby!

It was the most amazing experience of my life. We're not planning to birth any more children. But, if we were, there's no way I would even consider birthing in the hospital...unless my midwife told me that I absolutely had to be there to save my baby's life.

Hope this helps. You can do it!

[~Heyokha~]

Originally Posted by mamameg

DING DING DING DING...... WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, this could not be more true. My first child's birth (2.5 years ago) was pit induced and I needed an epidural after about 10 hours. (Looking back, I don't know how I made it that long - the pain was excruciating and I was near blacking out and shaking uncontrollably!) My second child (most recent, he's 8 months old now) was an all natural labor at home until I was 10 cm. There is NO COMPARISON to pit contrx and natural contrx. They are so much more manageable.

You can do it!

ah.. me too. I had pit for over 18 hours and from the get go I wondered how anyone implemented any natural coping techniques for pain control -all I could do was bite a wash cloth and shake. I will be birthing dc#2 in April and I have worried about the pain. I have nothing to compare it to except for my pit induction. It is so reassuring to hear about your second labor experience.

[Drewsmom]

I'm sorry, I'm short on time and didn't have time to read everyone's responses but:

I can't say enough for doulas and their moral support and techniques for natural pain relief. I think you'll be amazed at how changing positions and not laying down in a bed being monitored even intermittantly with straps adds to pain relief.

#2 2nd births are historically much faster and easier than 2nd births.

#3 I teach Hypnobabies classes and used this hypnosis technique with my 2nd son's birth and I can't say enough at how much the techniques can do to alleviate fears and yes pain. I felt 90-95% pain-free with my 2nd son's birth and relaxed and able to express myself the whole time even in transition and while pushing. I assist at some student's births and it's amazing to see. So if you are the kind of person who likes to not experience the pain of birth but still want to be fully present and in touch then I really think that hypnosis for childbirth is a wonderful option. You can get more information at www.hypnobabies.com and if you'd like I always love to share his birthstory and describe how hypnosis works. Oh did I mention that he was born posterior and I had absolutely no back-pain at all, ever not even one stitch...never would have known that he was posterior if my midwife hadn't told me and the nurses hadn't commented on his flat forehead .

[Lynski]

I am a wimp too. I'm not one of those people who can tolerate pain and just go on with life. I whine and complain, and I'm not tough. But I had an epi w/ DS because of fear, not pain. When the option wasn't available at home, there were a few minutes when I wished for some pain relief. But to my surprise that horrible pain was the very end and DD was born a few seconds later. Then the pain was over and forgotten as I held my beautiful baby. Don't be held down by what other people tell you about yourself, and don't fear the pain. You can do this.

[mary3mama]

I have pretty high pain tolerance -- terrible migraines for more than half my life...

I just tried not to think much about the pain of labor/birth for this most recent pg -- which was to be my 1st homebirth after a c/s & hospital VBAC. I chose to believe that whatever happened, it would be survivable & it was something my body was designed to cope with.

Fast-forward to the homebirth of my daughter 5 weeks ago...
I did not truly believe I was in active labor until I was in transition! OMG! the pain! I'd never felt anything so intense in my life. Then about 90 minutes & about 10 pushes later (pushing lasted about 15 minutes) I had my little girl in my arms.

So, yeah, it hurt like hell -- and it was, IME, pain, not rushes, not squeezing... pain. But I was right that it was survivable & I coped & my recovery was quick & easy. Being at home and not at the mercy of hospital protocols, was a trade-off & gladly make again, even now that I know how much it hurt.

[Miyelani]

I'm also terrified of the pain and expecting any day now... Read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth if you haven't already read it. I swear, it boosts my confidence every time I start to walk down the path of negativity--just a few pages and I'm like--YEAH I can do this!!! So you can you!

[ericswifey27]

Originally Posted by SapphireDiva

I was like you..I went 16 hours w/out the epi and I kept dozing off between contractions that were 30 seconds apart and 90 seconds long....I really thought I was going to completely pass out.

This time I'm wondering if I'll even realize what a "normal" contraction feels like.
My best friend had a pit induced labor with her first and her second was natural.
She said she was at home all day and kept feeling something kinda like menstrual cramps and she was thinking it couldn't have been real labor....sure enough as soon as they made it to the hospital her second dd was born.

I am so excited about having this baby at home, we need to order our pool and do a test run. 16 weeks or less to go!

I am pretty sure that there will be a HUGE difference in pain for me as well as I also endured extremely painful pitocin induced contractions. I so hope it's true!

[ClassiclyAmber]

My first was a traumatic hospital birth...and my second was a TOTALLY awesome HB - - and I loved it!! So did DH!

As far as preparing yourself for HB, I definitely believe that you should. My midwife requires of all her new patients to take some of her intense childbirth classes. My hubby and I took some intense Bradley classes when I was preggo with Nolan. It was great and very informative! We learned a lot.

So build your confidence level by learning as much as you can and also by reading up on other's natural birth stories. It's very empowering to learn how God made our bodies and to see that this is totally what we are made to do...and we can do it very well!!

Some books I suggest for you:

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Woman...e=UTF8&s=books

Anything by Ina May Gaskin!
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
http://www.amazon.com/Ina-Mays-Guide...e=UTF8&s=books

Spiritual Midwifery
http://www.amazon.com/Spiritual-Midw...e=UTF8&s=books

One thing that we learned in Bradley classes is that it is much better to go into childbirth TRAINED. Just as you wouldn't go into a 5 mile marathon and not be trained for it, you shouldn't go into childbirth untrained for the event. You CAN learn how to deal with the intense transition phase contractions and come out on top...and you CAN have a doula or a good midwife or DH, etc., there to help you try different techniques for pain management - - should you need them to fall back on.

If you'd like, you can start out by reading my birth story!
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=597800

I would say...NO, you are certainly NOT too wimpy! You just need to educate yourself and prepare yourself better. Hope this helps!