Oh My G*D! 16yo boy asks my 3.5yo ds to - UPDATE in post 129 - Page 8

[turtlewomyn]

You did the correct thing. My brother works as a counselor in the prison system with sex offenders. From talking with him, most, if not all of them were abused themselves. Hopefully by reporting this the sixteen year old can get help and maybe even change before he is too far gone. Think of all the other children you have saved from being abused. It sucks that they need to interview your DS, but with such a great support system and a loving and caring family I know he will get through this.

[PeacefulSeams]

when I was molested by my sisters dad at the age of 5, I had to speak with the police. It really helped me that I was able to show them with dolls what happened. That may make it easier for your son.

A therapist that specializes in play therapy may be helpful. My nieces really helped her out.

This may be a long process but I know you and your family can get through it. Some days will be harder than others but it will get better. s

[Papooses]

Yes, it may be a long process, but chances are it'll be shortened a great deal by reporting & facing it all now rather than later in life....

[amyjeans]

First off, big fat hugs to you mama for everything you are going through.
I wanted to point something out- that another person posted:

I think he asked those questions, because what happened made HIM feel "bad" inside, and because it felt wrong to him. I think kids can have pretty good instincts about this, about how certain people make them feel "icky" or wrong.

Kuddos to you for raising a child who is aware of his feelings enough to know when something isn't right. And just that is encouragement enough, in my opinion, to follow through and do what you are doing.
All my best.

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by peilover010202

I will also consider a pyschiatrist. At this point, I think ds understands that the 16yo was wrong, I don't think ds feels bad at this point. But again, I should leave that up to professionals.

Yes, I would, too . . .but I wonder if someone on the abuse board can give you a local recommendation? In the meantime, the people on that board may be able to give you specific ideas as to how much/how little to talk to him about this now and what to say.


So many s for all of you, but I want to say THANK YOU for doing this. You have spared many children from-- I don't even want to think what.

[Mama Coltrane]

I also wanted to write in support for you and your family.

- Kerri

[LoveBeads]

I wanted to support and thank you for what you did.

[faerierose]

I wanted to say thank you as well, as someone who's life has been turned upside down because of people not reporting. It means more to me then I can say in 100,000 posts. I know this is hard but it really is the best thing to do.

[LynnS6]

A family member was abused by a male babysitter (who was 14 or 15) when she was 3 1/2 or 4. My sister reported it, they interviewed them all.

They got counseling, and the child recovered very well. The offender got counseling, and I hope the help he needed. The mom was the one who took the longest to heal, I think. The child in question is now nearly an adult and doing very well. Smart, healthy, great self image, great trust in her parents.

So, while this is a hard time, you've done the hardest bit. It takes real courage for you to do what's right when all around you are saying "don't".

Counseling for you and your son is a great idea.

[Ilaria]

Hugs to you and your family. You did the right thing, and the hardest!

[bnhmama]

Originally Posted by peilover010202

I guess my thought is that he'll know his secret is out. And, if another family reports it to her, she'll know for certain it wasn't MY son who miscontrued anything.

I hope I'm reading this wrong. I really do. It seems like you are saying that you would be willing to let this happen to another child so that your child wouldn't be perceived a liar by the dcp.

Please tell me I read this wrong.

[bnhmama]

I finally finished the entire thread.

I'm very glad you reported. It sounds like you are struggling with some denial about what has happened. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this but I am so thankful that you chose to report this.

[peilover010202]

Originally Posted by bnhmama

I finally finished the entire thread.

I'm very glad you reported. It sounds like you are struggling with some denial about what has happened. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this but I am so thankful that you chose to report this.

Oh yes, absolutely struggling with a bit of denial here.

Ironically enough, because our dcp isn't a licensed one, CPS turned this over to the police dept and they don't plan to interview ds. : But, they did say that it will be "on the records" in case anything happens in the future.

Thanks everyone

[angel1895]

is there any update here?

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

[luvmy2boys]

Originally Posted by peilover010202

But, the 16yo also offered to take a lie detector test. :

Just another thought on this that I haven't seen brought up. Maybe deep down he wants to be caught. Often times the abused grow up to be abused. It's very possible this is the case with him. Maybe he wants help, but doesn't know how to ask for it.

[babygirl24]

Big hugs to you!!