Scaremongering, coercion and outright lies...What did they say to you?

[TanyaS]

Share your scaremongering, coercion and lies from OBs or other care providers here. Were you coerced into a c/s, whether primary or repeat? Were you lied to about VBAC? Did the scaremongering begin as soon as you were planning your VBAC?

I was lucky. The only scaremongering I got while planning my first VBAC was gentle. My OB told me that he'd seen two ruptures, described them in what he thought was a way to express the importance of the UR issue. Just what I needed to GIP (gestate in peace).

When I was planning my HBAC last year, I had care providers who trusted birth, and was spared the scaremongering.

I know that I'm the lucky one. An acquaintance told me her OB said that the UR rate was 10% so she was happy about an ERC.

[Storm Bride]

When I first wanted VBAC, the OB was fine with it, until dd was breech at my 39 week check-up. I got a call that the section was scheduled and was given a huge bunch of crap about her being too big to turn, and how waiting until labour was a bad idea, blah, blah, blah. But - what really made me agree was that I'd waited 10 years to successfully carry a second baby to term, and another breech seemed like my nightmare coming true again...I wasn't in a good mental space to say "no". Both my doctors neglected to tell me that after that surgery, they wouldn't support a VBA2C.

When I was pregnant with my third, my doctors were very unsupportive. My OB "agreed", but was very negative, and cited all kinds of ugly numbers. Then, when I started to go "late", he started in about how two babies died in some study on how to manage post-dates (never gave me any real details). At 41w, 4d, after over a week of prodomal labour, he decreed that "nothing was happening" and he'd be guilty of malpractice if he continued to be part of this. I was given the choice of having the section the following day or beig dropped as a patient. I went into true labour that night, but the hospital wasn't satisified with my 1cm. of dilation...

Gah - I still hate talking about this...wish I'd stuck to my guns and had my baby on the sidewalk, like I said I was going to.

[TanyaS]

, mama! Like I said, I was lucky my OB was not a bait-and-switch OB. I've heard so many stories like yours, and that is what fuels my anger at the system. They preyed upon your previous m/c's to coerce you into their agenda. I hope someone reads your post and it gives them the strength to stick to their guns.

[pookel]

I like my new GP pretty well - switched to her after my last one was unhelpful during my labor and c/s and then told me I HAD to put my son on solids at 4 months - but when I told her my c/s was because my baby was stuck, she said, "well, if the first one didn't fit, you probably wouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth anyway." Um, he was posterior, and I was on my back because I had an epidural. Pretty sure the same circumstances wouldn't apply in the next attempt.

[roadfamily6now]

I was lucky, never happened to me. I am so sorry for all your struggles

[Ms Ladybug]

I started to talk to my OB about VBAC when I started to ttc. I got the whole " if you were my wife..." "it's too risky..." So I found another OB.
Then I got a call from the office manager of my previous OB asking why I haven't shown up for my appts. When I told her I switched for vbac reasons she proceeded to tell me the latest studies don't recommend it. The UR risk is higher than they thought...etc...etc. I just told her that I was well aware of the latest studies and I was making an informed decision. She got mad and hung up on me

[wombatclay]

I have a longer thread around here, but the quickie version...

A specialist I was sent to (for possible fetal cardiac complications) found out I was planning a VBAC and gave the "dead baby" speech. He gave incorrect UR stats, told my husband (while I was in another room) that it was DH's job to convince me VBAC wasn't an option (pregnant women are hormonal and irrational and DH wouldn't want me to kill our baby, doncha'know), and acted like I was complete idiot ("I don't know if you understand, but you have a scar on your uterus and in labor that scar can rip wide open and your baby will die."). He also accused me of misleading my primary care doctor (suggesting that I hadn't told my doctor I planned a VBAC and then that I hadn't told my care provider I'd have a c/s. Errrrrr....yes.)

And the "dead baby" number he quoted was 1 dead baby for every 200 VBACs. The cardiac condition I was there to check has a risk of 1 in 97, which he had just finished telling us was "so remote we really shouldn't worry about it". But 1 in 200 and it's an insane risk? Grrrrrr....

And the thing that really got me was he's not even my doctor! There was no medical malpractice or liability on his part!

(thankfully he really is an expert in u/s analysis of fetal cardiac complications and our babe is NOT the 1 in 97 with a severe problem...but still, he's a total ick).

[Shawnee]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

And the "dead baby" number he quoted was 1 dead baby for every 200 VBACs.

I wasn't clear if this is what your doc said or what you believe to be true. Just in case, I want to add that 1 in 200 is the rupture rate, not the infant death from rupture rate. Most ruptures don't result in infant death. Sorry if I'm misunderstanding your meaning there.

My OB is a good man, and never tried to mislead me or undermine me. He helped empower me to fight hospital policy. However, there are some others who I am very angry with. The nurses manipulated me into giving in to a c/s by telling me that if I didn't have my baby by 11 pm, she would be taken to the nursery and I wouldn't see her until morning. That was a lie, and that was exactly what happened to me BECAUSE of the c/s. The next time around, the nurses lied to me and manipulated me in order to get me to allow them to take ds to the ICU after I had resisted them for 24 hours.

[ericswifey27]

Oh where do I start with the manipulation?

I was told it would be risky to continue laboring and that a csection would be best- "it's just not safe to wait, The longer we wait the more your baby is in danger ...". A csection was performed 22 hours after my water broke. I got my records, and my heart rate and the baby's heart rate were perfectly fine. There were no fevers, signs of infection, nothing. I was making progress but they told me I wasn't, it just wasn't fast enough for them. There's so much more but I won't go on...

With this pregnancy I haven't even set foot in a hospital, except for one ultrasound for bright red bleeding. I am going to a homebirth midwife to get care. I feel very lucky and supported. I don't want to fight and argue with my care provider about what I know is best for me and my baby. I have done the research. Any doctor who trys the scare tactics is only interested in self preservation.

[MommyDOK]

Dr. Pamela Campbell and Dr. Cherese Collins both told me,"I had already proven I can't get a baby out of my pelvis." To which I responded, "I've proven I can't get a crooked baby out of my pelvis." They told me it didn't matter and Dr. Collins then told me, "the second c/s is so much easier." And, ftr, my reason for my c/s wasn't even cpd.

No thanks ladies.

I did send them a picture of my posterior vbac baby coming out of my tiny pelvis. I'm sure I didn't change their mind, but it made me feel better.

[wombatclay]

Shawnee-

I wasn't clear if this is what your doc said or what you believe to be true.

The 1 dead baby for every 200 VBACs was this guys' statistics. He refused to listen when I tried to tell him his numbers were wrong. I might have been less livid if he'd actually had his numbers right, but he didn't.

And of course, right or wrong, he was being massively inconsistent telling us that 1 in 200 was "you'll kill your baby" but 1 in 97 was "so low you shouldn't lose any sleep over it". Grrrr.

[misseks]

With dd1 I was told c/s now or cord prolapse and c/s under general later.

With dd2 (victorious re-birth AC!) I encountered an OB who said, "Well, we want a healthy baby, that is all." To which I replied, cheeks flushing, anger flashing, "And a healthy mother."

[Shawnee]

Originally Posted by MommyDOK

I did send them a picture of my posterior vbac baby coming out of my tiny pelvis. I'm sure I didn't change their mind, but it made me feel better.

I love it!!

[TanyaS]

[acordio]

I have not had my vbac yet but my md had strated me out being scared. At my first appt. he did a vag exam and said that my pelvis was very narrow and if I had a large baby (8 or 9lbs) that I may end up with a c-section. At every appt. he was telling me how big I was and that my baby must be huge. At my 36 six week sono the sonographer told me that he was measureing about 9lbs. So I began to doubt myself and become very scared. In labor we did not know he was postier and he was just not coming down and of dr was right there to say big baby, big baby maybe c-section. Meconium staining and water have been broken for over 24 hours and in labor for over 27 was wearing on me. So give in I did. Not this time.

[JanetF]

I haven't had it over VBAC personally but I support women every day of the week who've heard all this and more and it makes me sick to the stomach. These people aren't CAREproviders they're unethical liars telling women rubbish to suit their own purposes. Now I'm not saying ALL MWs are perfect but you at least have a fighting chance of surgery not being an issue. Hiring a surgeon is almost a guarantee you'll get some version of this crap thrown at you. They don't want you to have a vaginal birth, it might make them look silly if one of their peers told you it couldn't be done. Makes me angry angry angry and sick sick sick. Women and babies are dying because of this issue.

[luvmy2girls]

Originally Posted by acordio

I have not had my vbac yet but my md had strated me out being scared. At my first appt. he did a vag exam and said that my pelvis was very narrow and if I had a large baby (8 or 9lbs) that I may end up with a c-section. At every appt. he was telling me how big I was and that my baby must be huge. At my 36 six week sono the sonographer told me that he was measureing about 9lbs. So I began to doubt myself and become very scared. In labor we did not know he was postier and he was just not coming down and of dr was right there to say big baby, big baby maybe c-section. Meconium staining and water have been broken for over 24 hours and in labor for over 27 was wearing on me. So give in I did. Not this time.

This sounds exactly like what happened to me w/DD2- I ended up w/ C/S under general. But next baby, i plan to switch OBs- can anyone tell me some ?s to ask to choose the right one?

[acordio]

I am now with a mw. My first question was their c-section rate. In our Peoria county the c-sectin rate is about 38% we do have a hospital with a , I think, level 3 nicu that takes lots of high risk women but even then that is way to high. My mw office, she is in with an ob, has a c-section rate of 15%, I like my chances. I also asked if they routinely enduce VBAC, how far past due date they will *allow*, if my single layer incision was going to be an issue for thier practice.

[MrsChickenhead]

My first ob (with my first son) said I could either deliver vaginally or have another c-section and that it was completely my choice (I miss her soooo badly!). I had my first appointment with a new doctor for this baby and she said if I decided on a VBAC they would let me labor a very short time then they would do a c-section anyway. And she made a horrible face at the idea.

[~Megan~]

When I was told I "needed" to have a c-section for my first child the OB told me that I would be able to have a natural birth next time. And then afterward told me that VBACs were dangerous and I should have a c-section next time.