? about "Protecting the Gift"

[Moochie Mamma]

I've seen this book mentioned here several times and read some of the reviews on Amazon. I'm just wondering if it really does have useful ideas or is it a bunch of scary stories? I've seen the recommendations to teach your child to find someone who looks like a Mommy if they are separated from you and also not to let an attacker take you to a second location. What else have you found helpful?

TThanks

[Marlet]

To be honest I didn't finish it. I checked it out from the library since I had seen it mentioned here soooo often. IMO it's a bunch of horror stories. I didn't like the author's writing voice either. However, I do think it had some good advice in the regards to not teaching children every person is a bad one. I think I made it a third of the way through before I returned it.

[asherah]

Actually, it is a book that debunks the scary stories.
He has to start by laying out the stories.. and then he does reality checks. So ya kindof have to read the whole thing, to get the whole thing.

The book is all about trusting your intuition, getting past the fear-mongering and becoming truly empowered as a parent.
It was one of the best parenting books I have ever, ever read.

[oneotamama]

I thought it was a worthwhile read as well. I borrowed a copy from the library. I wouldn't necessarily say it's a book I would need on my shelf, but it was worth reading.

[Houdini]

Originally Posted by Asherah

Actually, it is a book that debunks the scary stories.
He has to start by laying out the stories.. and then he does reality checks. So ya kindof have to read the whole thing, to get the whole thing.

The book is all about trusting your intuition, getting past the fear-mongering and becoming truly empowered as a parent.
It was one of the best parenting books I have ever, ever read.

:

I own this book and The Gift of Fear.

I just borrowed Fear Less: Real Truth About Risk, Safety, and Security in a Time of Terrorism by Gavin De Becker. I have never seen or heard of this one before, so I have no idea anything about it. I just borrowed it b/c of how much I enjoyed his other two.

[bu's mama]

I agree that it's worth reading.

The most important aspect for me was to listen to my gut & to teach my child to do that as well. It also addresses promoting independence by having the child approach a 'stranger' with you present...asking for directions, buying something, etc. so they can learn to listen to their gut for who they can trust & who they can't so if they are in a bad situation they can determine who they want to ask for help. I think the 'stranger danger' thing is overblown, especially if the stranger is friendly, young kids will likely not see him as a stranger but a friend and therefore not dangerous. I also think of that missing boy last year, two years ago who was lost in the woods, but didn't respond to people calling his name because he was taught not to talk to strangers.

[oceanbaby]

Originally Posted by asherah

Actually, it is a book that debunks the scary stories.
He has to start by laying out the stories.. and then he does reality checks. So ya kindof have to read the whole thing, to get the whole thing.

The book is all about trusting your intuition, getting past the fear-mongering and becoming truly empowered as a parent.
It was one of the best parenting books I have ever, ever read.

:

[AuntNi]

Originally Posted by asherah

Actually, it is a book that debunks the scary stories.
He has to start by laying out the stories.. and then he does reality checks. So ya kindof have to read the whole thing, to get the whole thing.

The book is all about trusting your intuition, getting past the fear-mongering and becoming truly empowered as a parent.
It was one of the best parenting books I have ever, ever read.

ITA with this. I was irrationally terrified before I read this book. Yeah, it has some stories that scared the bejezus out of me. But after I read it, I felt soooo much better. I now have concrete, real-life ways to teach my DD to protect herself, and concrete methods to protect her myself.

I recently purged my library and got rid of lots. But this is one parenting book I kept. I think every single parent/grandparent/caregiver should read this book.

[P-chan]

Another valuable part of the book is the section with questions to ask of prospective doctors and childcare centers/babysitters, and how to trust your got in those situations as well.

[oldgirl,newtricks]

I give it three thumbs up!! Most parents I know just tell their kids not to talk to strangers, which of course, does nothing to give them skills. I think it's a super parenting book. It also gives the truer stats on how many abductions really take place in this country. It's very few, but most parents won't recognize that.

[philomom]

I did like this book very much. However, I passed it to a friend already. I have been very open with my kids about helping me protect them. Not in a scary way, but matter of fact from a young age I taught them to watch, know the names of their parts, to be careful, not be conned, etc. I still put them through the talk once in awhile and though I may get groans, nothing terrible has happened so far.

[Flor]

Hmm. I should read this. I am pretty paranoid!

[scrapadoozer]

Originally Posted by Flor

Hmm. I should read this. I am pretty paranoid!

As am I. I found the book very helpful and well worth reading.

[thyme]

I found it helpful...and not helpful.

One of the examples of listening to intuition was a mother whose child was undergoing a routine surgical procedure with general anesthesia. She had a last minute feeling of worry, and ignored it, and her child died due to the negligence of the anesthesiologist. The idea is that if she had just listened to her intuition, her kid would still be here today.

Now... my opinion is, what parent would NOT have a last minute feeling of worry when a child is undergoing general anesthesia!?!?

I'm not really clear on how to separate that kind of feeling of rational concern (after all, there is a known risk) with an intution that something isn't right - if I followed my internal instinct there's no way I could let my child have it - even when I rationally know it is necessary for whatever health reason is prompting the surgery.

[thyme]

I found it a really useful and actually encouraging book.

The only thing is, sometimes I wonder about the effectiveness of the advice about listening to your inner voice, at least in certain situations. I think there was a tragic example of a child who died under anesthesia due to the negligence of a the anesthesiologist. The author related that the mother's every instinct was telling her NOT to let the child go into surgery. But the thing is, wouldn't just about every mom feel that way just before their child's surgery? I know if my toddler son had to have surgery, my instincts right up until the last minute would be to run in and carry him as far away from the hospital as possible and just hold him safe. But if I followed that instinct, he would miss out on the necessary surgery. What to do?

[Changed]

I loved protecting the gift. I think it's one of those books that really makes you think about and confront those issues and then learn how to avoid them.

[oldgirl,newtricks]

I think the surgery story was to try and separate "rational" and "irrational" fears. We would all be worried about surgery, but would we all have a deep fear? Like my DH had a hip replacement today. I was nervous, but not afraid. I knew that most likely, everything would be fine. The author is trying to get us in tune with a fear which is unusual for us. Being afraid of every dr. or surgery wouldn't be rational, just like kids aren't constantly being stolen by strangers. If the mom had passed on the surgery that day and consulted a different physician, she probably would have experienced different emotions.

[apmom]

I think the best advice that I got from this book was, saying that is okay to say no forcefully. Just because a guy is interested in you doesn't mean that you have to talk to him. If you feel uncomfortable or you are just not interested in a guy, say no. Not beat around the bush or be nice. Some guys(not all) hear only what they want to hear and if you say-I am not ready to date right now-all he hears is the right now part not the no date part. I don't know if this makes sense. I was always taught to be polite to everyone regardless of what my gut says and don't want my daughter to end up in scary situations because she feels that she can't say no.