Originally Posted by bebesho2
WOW. This is sad.
People have assumed DH was not DD Dad and been nasty in the past. A horrible incident happened when he went to pick up SIL and BIL from a hotel. They saw him and BIL with DD and automatically thought she could not be his kid and why are 2 men here with that little girl at a hotel. Meanwhile the real predators in suits and such just lurk and get a friendly smile and handshake! In our case this is also a color issue.
People ASSUME too much. We are conditioned to ASSUME any man or teen boy who likes children is a predator. Prejudice and stereotyping are dangerous. Follow your gut but grouping all males into the predator file is just as dangerous as assuming all people are good.
Wow, what a horrible thing for your family to have to deal with, and what a terrible thing for your dd to have witnessed. I am very sad for your husband.
I agree that it's the assumptions that are wrong. You really should not assume anything about anybody. There's that old saying about how when you ASSUME you make an A$$ out of U and ME....
I kept lurking here (for some reason I can't seem to leave this thread alone, even though my husband wants me to stop because it is stressing me out, and lately when I get stressed it triggers a nice round of braxton hicks and a gall bladder attack, he's starting to worry for my health), and was saddened that the posts became somewhat personal attacks.
For the record, I said DISCRIMINATING was disgusting. At no point did I say any one here was. And at no point did I (or anyone else) say you should dismiss your concerns and hire a male to prove you aren't a sexist. That's ridiculous frankly. Nor did I say anything, or read anything, telling anybody to ignore the statistics (which by the way, have not been sourced yet...except the Census count of men in the US, but I have yet to see a source for abuse stats) or dismiss abuse victim's stories as a warning to us all.
Tie-dyed: There are so many ways your husband could have handled that situation badly...I think he handled it with humour and hopefully that woman went away rethinking her prejudice.
My husband's ex walked out on him and my dss when dss was 2 months. Phil did encounter many people who thought him 'weird' for taking on becoming a single dad. I shudder to think what may have been their reaction if he'd had a daughter instead of a son. Prejudice sucks, plain and simple.