Originally Posted by oceanbaby
Hmm, I don't know the exacts stats (no one does apparently) but I would guess on any given day, you are more likely to have a car accident than be molested. Although I do believe molestation numbers are high.
Would you allow your child to have a male schoolteacher? Or play at a friend's house when their father or brother or uncle was home? (I'm not trying to be argumentative - I am genuinely curious about this issue.)
No, it's okay. I'm just saying what I do. It sounds worse on the internet as I type it out than it feels to me in my life, but anyway...
I believe molestation is more likely than a major car accident because of the sheer number of women I know who were molested, vs. the number of women who have been in a major car accident. I base my IRL decisions about my family on that kind of anecdotal information. But I imagine it would hold up statistically.
Male schoolteacher - Yes. My child will be older then (she is only 3 now). The environment will be different, with other students, other teachers, a system of accountability. That doesn't eliminate the risk, but IMO it lowers it a fair bit. The reality is my child could be molested during her childhood, I cannot entirely prevent that risk without sequestering her away, which it taking things too far IMO. Sort of like the 'stranger danger' approach to kidnapping. Well yes they could be kidnapped, but are you going to terrify them to prevent that risk? Yk? The response is out of proportion to the risk, IMO, as it would be if I said my kiddo couldn't have a male schoolteacher.
I can't say I wouldn't have some concern with a male schoolteacher, although I also think there are tremendous benefits. I would definitely meet him and the question "could this man molest my child?" will go thru my head, I can't say it wouldn't.
Play at a friend's house while a father/brother/uncle is home: Well, my child's caregiver's grown sons are sometimes home while my kiddo is there. They have police checks, but that means very little as we all know. I have wondered about the possibility for molestation, but then decided the opportunity would probably not present itself easily as the in home centre is small and my child would cry if alone with a man, because she is shy, which would alert the caregiver. This is how I think, how I feel I have to think.
Other situations I assess. She rarely plays at friends' houses, except those I trust. And in the situations I trust, yes she can be there while the papa is home. Of course, this is the papa I trust. I would assess each situation individually for how much I trust the male in the situation, and how likely it would be that he would have opportunity to harm my child.