"Trying On" goodness

[annettemarie]

I'm trying to think of how to phrase this...

Lately my daughter (5 1/2) is going through this really weird "I'm a little angel" stage. I know it sounds weird to be questioning it, and I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth , but I just wonder how common it is.

She wants to help and she makes sure you know how sweet she is for doing it. She's actually said, "I don't know why I'm so different than other children, Mama--I just love helping you!" Or if she sees her brothers having a conflict, she'll play peacemaker--again, making sure everyone sees the little halo glowing around her head.

Her big brother NEVER went through this stage and it's getting on his nerves.

Conversation in the car on the way to church:
Katie Grace: Mama, I'm not going to save both my dollars. I'm going to give one to the church so they can use it to help others.
Michael: Why do you have to be so GOOD all the time?!? Don't you EVER want to be naughty?!?

(And, incidentally, we don't even use "being good" and "being bad" language. We talk about good choices and not-good choices.

Anyway... is she really an angel in disguise, or will this, too, pass?

[jessemoon]

I bet it's a stage. I remember a friend's DD doing something similar. Smoothing her little hands along the table, shooting her brothers evil looks and smiling up at mom,
"I'm not being rude at the table!" Then a little bit later, "I'm too nice to bother the dog! I know better!" Just when everyone was ready to toss her out the window, she seemed to snap out of it and revert to her normal (sometimes very sweet, sometimes cranky) self.

[Dar]

That's so cute!

That was the age of lots of pretending, with Rain... it sounds like she's found a character she likes to be. Rain spent a few weeks as an "orphan" at that age, which was very disconcerting - "Oh, thank you, Ma'am, for this food, thank you so very much!"

Dar

[teachma]

Unfortunately, when my daughter (nearly three in March) plays the "good girl," it is usually juxtaposed to her brother's "naughtiness." My son is six and can be very challenging. Dd is perceptive and exceptionally verbal, and she has said things like, "A_____ doesn't come down for breakfast right when you call him, but I always do the right thing, right Mommy? I always come down when you call." She does things like this quite often, and I try to not acknowledge it. She is usually correct in her perception, but I don't want to reinforce her belief that she's good and he's bad. Could it be your daughter is doing this to be better than her brother? Especially if he has ideas about being naughty sometimes, that's what gave me the thought.

[oldcrunchymom]

Originally Posted by teachma

Could it be your daughter is doing this to be better than her brother? Especially if he has ideas about being naughty sometimes, that's what gave me the thought.

I guess I'm jaded because this was my thought as well. My daughter is one who is likely to toot her own horn and it isn't always in an altruistic manner.

[annettemarie]

There's definitely an "in your face" element to it, but she does it when no one else is around, too. I think it's a combination of "trying on" a new role, and sticking it to her big brother. I'm sure it will pass.

[supervee]

Both 7 year old girls I know do this, so I think it must be a stage! Your DD is just early.