2 malpositioned babies, do I try again?

[Melinda77]

OK, dh and I are pretty sure 2 kids is not all, and I know it's WAY early, but I'm working through my second c-birth and wondering how I could ever do this again.

Short stories - I went into labor on my own for both. My water broke early in labor (like around 2cm) during both labors. With ds, I was very ill, flu-like symptoms and he was posterior with his forehead (brow) presenting; when my fever climbed over 103 and I had been at 5-6cm for over 6 hours and him not turning, we did the section. With dd I was healthy, got to 8cm in the whirlpool then got out and had a bulging bag that I allowed my midwife to break, it was heavily meconium stained, but I felt the urge to push within 30 minutes; pushed for 2 hours in vaious positions, but I only made progress sitting up holding my legs up; at one point I could a quarter-sized bit of baby head in the mirror, then she went up and never descended again, when midwife checked she felt the side of dds head, and I was 8cm with a swollen cervix; my contrax had slowed and lost intensity and I agreed to pit only with an epi (at this point I was resigning myself to a c - and heck, I was tired after pushing for 2 hours) after 8 hours I was 9cm and dd was still malpositioned so I agreed to c.

So, on to the question! I have mild scoliosis (curvature of the spine). The ob who birthed dd via c suggested that my pelvic inlet is either small or misshapen causing the malpositions (my pelvic outlet is "generous" according to him and the midwives). After dd's birth, the ob, midwife and my doula, were in agreement that future babies should be planned c-births. I am SO upset by this and am considering not getting pg again to avoid it. Are two malpositoned babies enough to make that decision on? Anyone have any insight?

[pamamidwife]

I have serious scoliosis, but it never affected my pregnancy. Most women have some degree of scoliosis -

Don't listen to what others believe about your body. Many times, after a c-sec, providers will give you a list of reasons reinforcing the reasons "why" it "had" to be done. Don't pay any attention.

There is a great book called Optimal Foetal Positioning. Buy it. It's amazing -

Optimal Feotal Positioning - buy it here!

You can also look for a homebirth midwife that is familiar with positioning in that last month of pregnancy (I find that many hospital providers poo-poo any sort of positioning issues, or they cannot palpate well enough to determine position accurately) to help with positions.

DO NOT GET YOUR WATER BROKEN ARTIFICIALLY! This only ensures that your baby will not be able to move out of the position that he/she is in. If the water is not broken, there is a better chance of baby rotating into a better position. Chiropractic care during pregnancy helps to align the body, creating a better position for baby, too.

It takes patience and great communication and some research. I'd definitely think about having a homebirth midwife the next time - or at least hire one as a doula for a hospital birth. I've had posterior babies and even asynclitic babies turn and be born vaginally - after various positions, techniques, and time, time, time.

Above all, make affirmations about how well your body grows a baby. How you trust your body to birth easily. You can have the birth you want - you're already taking the steps to have a better birth!

[Melinda77]

Thanks Pam.

I did read a lot about positioning, and did a LOT of work during my 2nd pg to get dd in place, going into labor, she was LAO and I thought everything was going to be fine. Oh, and my water had already broken at home, it was a bulging forebag that the midwife broke (and since I was at an 8, and dd was engaged, I never thought twice, ya know?).

Perhaps chiropractic next time, I just kept putting off making the call during my pg with dd, too much going on with ds...excuses I guess.

I also think that *I* really want a reason for my 2nd c. My first I am at peace with now, but my second, I really thought I had done everything "right" (and it doesn't help that my good friend did everything "wrong" in both her labors and had uncomplicated vag births). Just doesn't seem fair to go through unmedicated labor, push for 2 hours and still no baby for no reason -- and both my babies were malpositioned, their moulding was quite the talk of family present after birth (ds with a unicorn bulge on his forehead and dd with moulding off to the side).

Ok, so I guess I'm also asking, do you really think these c's were preventable? Other than chiro, I am interested in what I should have done/should do next time (if there is a next time) during labor.

Thanks again - at just 2 months pp I'm still working through a lot, so if you hear aggression/saddness/anger in this post, you're right!

[pamamidwife]

I'm not really in a position to say whether or not the cesareans were preventable - it's really not helpful to reasess what has been done...the key here is to heal from both of those experiences (because necessary or not, it sounds like they impacted you in many ways).

Perhaps doing some writing or drawing about your births might help with some emotional processing. I think that first and foremost, going through the stages of grief is what is really important. Then, you can move on to education and planning your next birth if you want another baby.

Have you ever tried stream of consciousness journaling? This entails just writing nonstop for two or three pages - without worries about being "nice", grammatically correct, or writing for anyone. Just writing. Sometimes this reveals huge insights into our emotions and opens avenues for healing.

Drawing pictures, too, helps. Drawing what you felt like at the moment of the cesarean decision, then what it was like for you at the moment of surgery. Allow yourself to get angry, to cry, or to be completely happy during these drawings. The idea is to tap into the emotion behind your experience.

Above all, love yourself. You have grown and birthed two beautiful babies. They were healthy and strong. You continue to nurture and love them and they continue to be healthy and strong - and loved. This is no small feat!

[pamamidwife]

I'm not really in a position to say whether or not the cesareans were preventable - it's really not helpful to reasess what has been done...the key here is to heal from both of those experiences (because necessary or not, it sounds like they impacted you in many ways).

Perhaps doing some writing or drawing about your births might help with some emotional processing. I think that first and foremost, going through the stages of grief is what is really important. Then, you can move on to education and planning your next birth if you want another baby.

Have you ever tried stream of consciousness journaling? This entails just writing nonstop for two or three pages - without worries about being "nice", grammatically correct, or writing for anyone. Just writing. Sometimes this reveals huge insights into our emotions and opens avenues for healing.

Drawing pictures, too, helps. Drawing what you felt like at the moment of the cesarean decision, then what it was like for you at the moment of surgery. Allow yourself to get angry, to cry, or to be completely happy during these drawings. The idea is to tap into the emotion behind your experience.

Above all, love yourself. You have grown and birthed two beautiful babies. They were healthy and strong. You continue to nurture and love them and they continue to be healthy and strong - and loved. This is no small feat!