What are you going to do about childcare?

[gizzyntaz]

This is my BIGGEST concern right now. The BC I'm going to be using will allow DS to be there when #2 is delivered (so exciting!), so I'd like him at the BC while we are there. I'll also need someone to watch him while I'm laboring at home.

We have no family in the area. All of our friends and neighbors work or have kids of their own. Our potential babysitters are all HS students. I have no idea what to do? Worst case scenario I will just use my doula for birth support (I'll probably start this search once the 1st tri is over), and DH can take care of DS, I guess...

Maybe we can ask at our church? I was going to ask my MWs for advice. Anyone else have any ideas?

[pianojazzgirl]

Do you have family (mom?) who could come and stay for a few weeks around your edd? I'm in the same position as you, but my in-laws are both retired so they could probably come and stay with us for a while (not an ideal situation though due to fil driving me absolutely nuts). Or, if I'm lucky, my mom will be able to come out to visit for a few weeks around that time.

[rach03]

My grandparents are planning to come stay with DS since my mom will be at the hospital with us.

All my family lives three hours away, so hopefully they will have enough warning!

I'm still worried though...DS is still very dependent on me at nighttime and I think he will have a hard time when I am gone. I'm hoping the next nine months give him time to get a little better at bedtime! :

[gizzyntaz]

Rach - I'm worried about the same thing. DS doesn't "nurse to sleep" anymore, but he definitely nurses as part of the nighttime routine and will be very upset if that doesn't happen. I would like him with us at all times so my DH can step in if necessary, and I'm definitely getting a doula this time to help me.

Piano - I had the same idea. I would never ask my ILs - I don't like them enough (plus MIL still works). My mom doesn't work so she has the time, but I highly doubt she would agree to it. I wouldn't even know when to have her come? DS was born at 42w5d! Plus, I think it might cause more problems than I could bargain for (my mom is not very supportive of my birth choices (bad for DH and I) and she is MUCH more strict than I am - not a great thing for DS). It just seems like it would be less stressful in the long run if I could find someone local that I could hire...

[stacyg]

When I had my ds2 I was worried how ds1 would do - he'd only been away from us 1 night and never with mil. He did fine - they played hard and fell asleep on the couch. He didn't even miss us.

Since we are going for a hb this time we'll all be home. I've got some close friends here (one being our neighbor - they adore her) so I'm thinking they'll go to her house if it gets to be too much and can come back for the birth if that's what we decide (if they want to).

I would suggest asking around church - I'm sure someone would love to help you out. Maybe your dc could actually spend some time with them so they'll be comfortable with them.

You have some time to think this out...I'm sure everything will work out.

[allbrightmama]

We hired a doula for ds1 when ds2 was born. She hadn't attended many births so she was very inexpensive and very willing to provide support for a 2 yr old. It was absolutely the best decision for our family.
It was extremely important that ds1 be with us at the birth center when ds2 was born. It was also important that we have someone caring for him who was sensitive and familiar with the process of natural childbirth. We didn't want a family member because we felt they would be too emotionally wrapped up in the birth themselves to properly support ds. We also wanted someone who would follow our direction.
My labor began in the late afternoon. I called Gina (the doula) and she met us at home. At the birth center that evening Gina read stories to ds1 in bed until he fell asleep. She stayed with him while he slept so that there would be no chance of him waking up alone or confused. Ds2 was born in the early morning and ds1 woke right after. Gina brought him right in to us and he was one of the first people to greet his baby brother. It was beautiful. She stayed with us until we left the birth center and made 2 postpartum visits. She even wrote ds2's birth story for ds1 from their perspective.
We prepared ds1 for the birth by talking about the process and reading Welcome With Love. It is a beautiful picture book about a homebirth told from the point of view of the soon to be big brother.
We are planning on a homebirth for this baby and we hope to hire Gina again.

[gizzyntaz]

allbrightmama - that's a wonderful story, thanks for the reassurance. I hope to find a doula that is as compassionate and understanding as Gina.

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by allbrightmama

We hired a doula for ds1 when ds2 was born. She hadn't attended many births so she was very inexpensive and very willing to provide support for a 2 yr old. It was absolutely the best decision for our family.
It was extremely important that ds1 be with us at the birth center when ds2 was born. It was also important that we have someone caring for him who was sensitive and familiar with the process of natural childbirth. We didn't want a family member because we felt they would be too emotionally wrapped up in the birth themselves to properly support ds. We also wanted someone who would follow our direction.
My labor began in the late afternoon. I called Gina (the doula) and she met us at home. At the birth center that evening Gina read stories to ds1 in bed until he fell asleep. She stayed with him while he slept so that there would be no chance of him waking up alone or confused. Ds2 was born in the early morning and ds1 woke right after. Gina brought him right in to us and he was one of the first people to greet his baby brother. It was beautiful. She stayed with us until we left the birth center and made 2 postpartum visits. She even wrote ds2's birth story for ds1 from their perspective.
We prepared ds1 for the birth by talking about the process and reading Welcome With Love. It is a beautiful picture book about a homebirth told from the point of view of the soon to be big brother.
We are planning on a homebirth for this baby and we hope to hire Gina again.

Wow, she sounds like a wonderful doula! How reassuring to have someone that caring and capable "on your team".

[flapjack]

We're expecting that Skye's biggest source of love and support will be her brothers, but are "hoping" that my mum will be here on the day I give birth anyhow, and also her grandad (who will be living with us, if he ever gets discharged from hospital.)