Toddler tantruming until she makes herself throw up

[janerose]

: I don't really know that there's a great solution to this. Just wondering if my DD (27 mo) is the only one who does this?

Anytime she has a major tantrum, if it goes on long enough, she gets herself worked up to the point where the vomits. It freaks her out a bit at the time, but then she pretty quickly recovers. Of course, the tantrum normally ends at this point because she's 1) been distracted 2) now being put in the tub, which she LOVES, to be cleaned up.

On one hand I feel bad that she gets sick to her stomach, but on the other hand I'm not willing to give into her tantrum just to avoid it either you know? Plus, there are just some things she simply CAN'T do no matter how much she tantrums because they're dangerous. I'd rather have her make herself ill than injure herself doing something she just doesn't understand that she's not allowed to do yet!

She tantrums very rarlely -- maybe a couple times a month -- and this doesn't happen every time. Maybe one out of every 5 or so, so it's only an issue every couple of months, but still it's frustrating.

Does anyone else's kid do this? How do you handle it?

TIA!

Holly

[fly-mom]

I am mostly just bumping this up for you since you didn't get any responses.

At least its a rare occurance, that's something.

What sort of approaches are you using when she does tantrum? You say that it only happens in maybe 1/5 tantrum fits she throws, can you identify any differences in the times that it get's this intense, and the times when it doesn't? Is she more tired or hungry or something?

Tantrums are so fun aren't they?

[mamanicki]

Off the top of my head, I would say that if she can be distracted by vomiting and enjoys the bath then there is your answer. There is a good likelihood she could be distracted by something more positive than vomiting earlier in the tantrum cycle. Like maybe a bath! My DS thinks a bath cures everything so anytime he is remotely sick he begs for a bath. Maybe your DD understands the bath = soothing relationship now and would willingly calm down BEFORE the vomiting if you started running her a bath? Obviously that isn't always practical or possible but if you are home, it seems better than letting her go until she vomits.

You didn't mention what methods you are using to deal with the tantrum currently. I have a few tantrum ideas that are gentle that work really well with that age but don't want to be redundant if you have already tried them.

[FLmom_3]

I'd posted a thread about a similar thing myself for my sister-n-law, only her girls have learned to get it to a fine art. I'm not sure if they learned by her reaction to it that it was something that "got to Mommy" or what. Naturally, when it happened, she ran to them to comfort them and clean them up, etc. and nobody likes it when their child gets sick like that, whatever the reason. Now, they've begun to do it on the spot many times when they don't get their way. There's no medical problem and it isn't something that happens everytime - they use the "tool" wisely, as not to wear it out, I guess -lol.

I know it's frustrating and isn't really funny and I've seen firsthand her frustration but it just amazes me the way they've learned to do that at the drop of a hat to try and force their way on their mother. (they are 3 and 2!) I think the youngest has just picked up on the oldest doing it and has begun to do it also. It's become a difficult situation for everyone because one of the "triggers" for them is having to sit in the carseat, sit in the basket at the grocery store, and they will do it almost EVERYTIME they don't get their way in public! They've even gotten to the point that they will "threaten" with it by gagging like they are about to when they don't get their way in public, as I guess they've noticed her reaction to how difficult this is when not at home. They don't use their fingers to gag themselves or anything else that is noticeable that would make them get sick - I'm not sure how they do it.

I feel for you and hope you can find help for this before it gets to that point.