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What Crazy Statement Did Someone Make When You Told Them The Big News? - Page 7

post #121 of 217
Originally Posted by Cersha
But, I don't KNOW what possesses people to tell pregnant women about miscarriages and birth defects...Have a little tact, please?
I told close friends first, and held off on telling family because I expected them to overreact with excitement and overwhelm me and call all the distant relatives and I would get 50 phone calls a day! When I was confiding in a friend that I was so stressed about having to tell them eventually, and how it seemed like the longer I waited the worse it would be because they would get angry that I kept it secret, he told me that traditionally you don't tell until about 3 months. He didn't want to tell me WHY, because the why was that there is a chance of miscarriage. He is so careful to not upset me or anything like that. He really is sooooo sweet, but it is unnecessary because I am not so sensitive. So I could tell he was holding back and dragged it out of him, and he was upset with himself for saying the word "miscarriage" to a pregnant woman.


To those who are talking about getting pregnant the first time, I did. I was surprised because I expected it to take longer. I quit my job, then took a month to get myself rested and started exercising and getting into better health as preparation, and then we stopped preventing. It happened within 10 days.


I didn't get any BAD responses. My parents and my grandma and my in-laws knew we were trying. My in-laws kept asking DH if I was pregnant yet (like I said, took 10 days!).

When I told my parents at a dinner at their house with just me and DH and them and my grandma, they weren't surprised. My grandma looked like she was going to cry with happiness. DH called my ILs the following day, and they weren't surprised either. I didn't get any strange reactions from any of them.

I DID get one beautiful response from someone that made me cry. When my father was only 14, his father died. He latched on to the neighborhood pet-shop owner, George, as a mentor. I grew up with George being like a grandpa to me. I spent so much time in his pet shop. He sold it about a decade ago, and sold his house, and retired and moved into a small apartment (his wife and brother, who lived with him, had both died in a short time, so he made all these changes then because he didn't need the big house and couldn't handle the business all by himself). When I told him I was quitting working with the eventual intention of starting a family, he said "when that happens, I will have to buy another pet shop." When my dad told him I was pregnant, he said "I'd better go out and find a pet shop to buy."

Originally Posted by hapersmion
My mom waited until after the congratulations to say she wasn't old enough to be a grandmother.
I tried to tell my MIL that she was too young to be a grandma, since she kept asking about when we were going to give her grandchildren. She wouldn't hear of it! She insisted she was ready. She is now 49.

Personally, I was ready to be a mom 10 years earlier than we did it. DH was ready to be a dad too. It was rough on him that he couldn't earn enough to support a SAHM and children any earlier. He would get so depressed whenever I would mention a child (ie. "A 3yo on the bus said X to me today.") We were together since i was 17 and he was 18. But we were dependent on our parents and both succumbed to the pressure to go to college first (because we were good students). Then we had years of working to pay off the huge loans for our fancy private schools.
post #122 of 217
I've only told a few people, and this is the gist of one conversation:

Mom: Make sure you take care of yourself and see a doctor.
Me: I'm using a midwife.
Mom: Still, you need care, it's part of THE Religion too, you know.
Me: Uh, what religion?
Mom: The Olde Religionee
Me: Uh, whatever.

I'm a pretty public and long-term Celtic Pagan, my mother is a recent convert to Wicca. Their related religions, but kinda have the theological divide the Christianity and Judaism has. Plus, my mom is making stuff up, and has no idea what she's talking about. That line, with some other stuff she said before, makes me think she's got some crazy cultishness going on. At the very minimum she's uninformed and completely making up her own theology.
post #123 of 217
Me and DH: We're having a baby!

MIL: Oh, I'm so sorry.

: (I don't get it to this day. We were married, financially stable, emotionally ready, etc., so it's not like we were offending some traditional sensibilities or something . . . just weird.)
post #124 of 217
Wow...people are NUTS!:

We just found out we're pregnant again and when I showed MIL the test she didn't believe it. She then proceeded to say that she wasn't ready to love another grandbaby. WHHHHAAAA? I'm thinking she was joking, but it was just stupid to say. As it stands I took a digital test the very next day and it said plain as day "PREGNANT"
post #125 of 217
When I told the big news to one of my grandmas, she told me I was too young to have a baby {I'm 21} and that I barely knew my husband [we'd been together for more than a year] and didn't I want to make something of my life instead of being tied down with a baby.

I answered to her that I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. And I haven't talked to her since.
post #126 of 217
My mother said.. "Nuh-uh! I was perfectly happy with my THREE grandchildren.." (my sisters and I each had one).

Two months later my little sister (married and aged 24, mind you!) found she was pregnant with her second and my mother SCOLDED her with first, middle, and last name like she'd just done something she knew was wrong!
post #127 of 217
My favorite...(sarcasm)..."Congratulations! You are older, though, so fingers crossed you keep this one, you have a 50/50 chance." ?? Where does she get her statistics?? (I should add, she had 2 m/c's, and clearly isn't over it.)

Another one lept on the chance to tell me she "reabsorbed" her first baby.

Most people, thankfully, said congratulations...which is the only really appropriate response...though I really liked the "No shit?" from someone on the first page
post #128 of 217
We were eating supper in a Chinese restaurant with our ex-roommate, when we told him. He looked down at his plate for a minute, gave us a very intense look and said, "You know guys... Having a baby isn't like adopting another kitten."

You mean to tell me I can't train my baby to poop in a box?! He doesn't talk to us anymore... Pity.
post #129 of 217
I think "no shit" and "are you serious" are decent answers. Hell, I said "are you serious" when DH proposed (it was promptly followed by squeals and hugs...I said yes when I remembered 2 hours later). Some people are shocked, and say something other than "congratulations." Doesn't mean they aren't happy.

The only other thing I've ever said to someone who was pregnant was, when they were rather young and clearly unplanned, I said "is this a good thing, or a bad thing?" I think she wound up miscarrying, unfortunately.
post #130 of 217
My husband's side of the family we're still working on telling. His mother said something like, "OH GOD." And then something about having to get her hair dyed because of the gray. She was on her best behavior because my mom was there.

One of his aunts told me I was "Barely even pregnant" when I told her at 8 weeks. Yah, tell that to my pooch and my morning sickness!

I haven't had the energy to tell anyone else. I am sure half of them will think we got pregnant because his cousin did. Yah. Ok. Because everything she does I strive to do... like live with an abusive mutant and have babies with him because life won't get any better and I am getting too old to find someone else. Yup.. totally sounds like us.

My side of the family is also pretty negative:

My mom's all worried that because of my weight and choice to homebirth I will have Toxemia or at least hypertension, Gestational Diabetes, and a disastrous birth resulting in a dead baby because as a NURSE (you know, in a hospital), "I've never seen anything good come of homebirths."

Well, duh, mom. And yet, how she knows this when they don't even HAVE a Labor/Delivery department in her hospital, I don't know.

My grandmother (Dad's mom) said, "Well you know it's a BOY, don't you? I mean, you have NO chance of having anything else."

First, we don't care. Second, I'VE had three boys, but my husband has only had ONE boy child biologically, so who knows what could be next. But Grandma's apparently sore because SHE had 5 boys.

My dad told my mom, "Another one?! They can't even take care of the ones they have!"

To which my mother replied, "Since when have you had to support those kids? When was the last time you pulled anything out of your pocket for them?"

Dad realized he was blustering and said, "You're right, They're good parents. They take care of their own." But there was definitely nothing positive coming out of it even after that.
post #131 of 217
Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam View Post
I think "no shit" and "are you serious" are decent answers. Hell, I said "are you serious" when DH proposed (it was promptly followed by squeals and hugs...I said yes when I remembered 2 hours later).
Hah, when DH proposed to me I said "For real?!" and then he gave me this beautiful speech and I cried and hugged and kissed him. But he kept looking at me with puppy eyes and I realized he needed a verbal answer so I said, "Of course I'll marry you, what are you stupid?!" I will never live it down.

I got a few, "Congratulations, this is a good thing, right?!" from people. I was surprised that I didn't get more "I'm surprised it took you so long"s from people since the minister at our wedding in July talked about how starting a family was one of the main reasons I gave for wanting to get married.

About a week before I found out, I started getting carsick, and when I mentioned it to my mom, she said, "Please don't be pregnant." WTH? When I asked her why, she told me she wanted me to finish my degree first (I'm practically finished with my BS in Nursing, I'm in a legal battle with the school over a clinical they won't let me take). I reassured her that my career was NOT my first priority and if I never had a degree I wouldn't mind, as long as I had my family (nevertheless, I'm still planning on finishing the degree). However, because of that early comment, I didn't tell her until after I'd told my in-laws (who were over the moon).

My mother in law, about a week after I told her in March, told me she'd take me shopping for maternity clothes. I had to remind her I didn't really need them until the summer.

My father still doesn't know, I'll tell you what he says if he ever gets his ass out here to see me. I refuse to tell him over the phone. The man has to make an effort for his grandbaby.

My friends all got really excited, but that's because they knew how much i wanted it.

Wow, I'm boring.
post #132 of 217
Forgot one of my faves... "Oh! You must be trying for a girl." People have said that since Baby#1 was a boy! It never ends.

Oh, this one too... When people ask how you're feeling and you tell them just how SICK you are, and they remind you, "Well, you WANTED to be pregnant."

Yah. Love that one.
post #133 of 217
Gina...it's hard to sell nurses on homebirths. My cousin, who works in an ER, told me (before I ever said anything about midwives or homebirths, which it turns out I can't do anyway) NOT to do a homebirth...said something about catching a baby out of a pant leg...I figure she must see all the homebirths-gone-wrong that end up in the ER or something. So she's going to have a negative side of the story to tell.

And...AS IF wanting to be pregnant is the same as wanting to be sick all the time! People say the darndest things!
post #134 of 217
When preggo with dd1:

my mom: "Congratualtions...I guess."

me: "Dh and I weren't really planning this, but I guess God had different plans."
Step-dad: "What makes you think God had anything to do with this?"

I get all warm feeling remembering those days They were such jerks. My grandma made me cry because she was so happy for us and wanted to send me maternity clothes. She's the best
post #135 of 217
"was this planned?"
post #136 of 217
"This was on purpose, I hope?"

Um, yeah. And would I admit it (to a relative stranger) if it weren't??

post #137 of 217
When I got pregnant w/ my last one the secretary at the chiro's office was all surprised and said, "What are you gonna do?"

I miscarried at 12 weeks. Yeah, that was fun.

This time everyone's had positive remarks.
post #138 of 217
My dad: I thought I was going to have to wait until Bryce had kids to be a grandfather!

Bryce is my 3 year-old brother.

I am only 27.
post #139 of 217
I got some great ones -

When we told DP's mother (who I adore) we were all in the car together and he said to her "bit of trivia for ya mom"
"oh yeah?"
"yeah, someone in this car is going to be a grandmother"
"no!. . .no way!"
and then when DP got out to pump gas, she turned to me and said
"are you sure it's his?"
I laughed my head off and she said "oh, I mean, of course, I know, I'm just so happy" . . .she really was giddy and in a state of disbelief

My family on the other hand was ridiculous:

"as if I don't have enough stress in my life already!"
"that was a really amateur mistake"

and best of all my mother:
"But you could have had anything you wanted in life!"
"your life is ruined!"
"you've never had a real job"
"you don't love DP!" (um, since when?)
"did you expect me to be happy?!"
"but this is a high risk pregnancy!" (it's completely not, I am 100% healthy with no family history of anything either, and my mother has absolutely no obstetric knowledge)
"people without university degrees should NOT have children" - referring to DP(whoa! wth? she doesn't even have one!)

sigh. Yes it was completely unplanned, but I'll be 24 when babe arrives, I have a university degree and half of another one that DP & I totally plan on me finishing. DP is 29, has a job and is totally committed. Oh and did I mention that second degree is in Midwifery and I'm ecstatic about being pregnant? bah! Of course my mother hates that I'm becoming a midwife too -
"but you won't be able to wear nice clothes to work"
Yes. . . because high heels are the be all and end all of happiness?
post #140 of 217
The classic one is surely 'Are you sure?'

We always got lots of support, but some people can be a bit insensitive.
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