Hi all,
I just needed to vent about my now cancelled baby shower which would have been on January 27th (also my birthday.) From the get-go I was not planning one but my family and hubby's family kinda got me gassed up about having one and I let them sweep me up in the excitement. I guess I should have known better because from the beginning it was pretty much me planning it and putting some effort into it. On top of that, we really had no place to hold it at so I was thinking of renting a place. There was a community center in the area that would have rented to us for $200. I was down for it but I told my family to help me put in for it. I was planning it for early December but of course life intervened. At the time I was planning it which was in November, so many family problems arose from my side to my hubby's side (he has a death in the family, his sister is in the middle of a custody battle that turned vishous, etc.) So we rescheduled, plus with Christmas time my famly pretty much told me they would not be able to put in any $$. Ok, so they said how about January? I decided on my B-day, cutting it close as that is one week exactly before my due date. But alas, nothing came through the community center was booked, the church we go to was booked and no could have it at their place (my mother included.)
So I finally emailed everyone today and told them it was cancelled. And I feel absolutely awful about it plus bitterly disappointed.
: I was so excited about it and now I feel resentful toward everyone who even mentioned the idea. My family is not very close and they are by no means the most dependable so I guess I should not be too surprised when the work started to fall more and more on me. But I just cant help but feel resentment. I always try to help my family- I got a scholarship for my mom to go to school, when she needs babysitters or someone to take my younger sisters to doctor's appts and such I do it. With my sister I helped her locate and put in $$ for a new apt when she was on the rocks. And now I just wish someone would have stepped up and really took the initiate to plan this for me. The bulk of the planning was on me, looking for a place, paying for it, getting invitations, decorations, etc.... I look back on it now and realize... I was planning my own damn shower!
This whole thing also makes me look on my own relationships. I realize now I have NO female friends, close or just as aquaintances. I have had none now for almost 3 years. My last best female friend moved 3 years ago to North Carolina. I realize now I have isolated myself now. My goal once I have this baby is to start joining gruops and take some classes that I have been putting off for the longest.
I just wish someone would look out for you as much as you look out for them. My hubby tried to help and helped me feel better which I love him for. And in the end I realize I have to concentrate on our little family- me, him, stepdaughter and the new baby. Now I also have scramble to buy things for the baby because I have not gotten anything yet aside from a few clothes and such.
The funny thing was my mom sounded so crushed and asked me why I was cancelling it (maybe because no one helped when I asked or wanted to put in even a little $$ or even offer a place no matter how small or cramped they think it might be), and it took something on my part not to get angry. I know this might sound trivial but I am really just bummed about it. Maybe I have no right to be angry and hurt but it is just the way I feel right now. I guess what I am really angry about is that I have kept myself so isolated for so long now and that I thought my family would have my back this time but guess not...
Sorry about the long post but I really just need to vent. Last night I was in tears and today feel no better. What keeps me upbeat is this baby. I really cannot wait to give birth now just to hold him or her in my arms.
I just needed to vent about my now cancelled baby shower which would have been on January 27th (also my birthday.) From the get-go I was not planning one but my family and hubby's family kinda got me gassed up about having one and I let them sweep me up in the excitement. I guess I should have known better because from the beginning it was pretty much me planning it and putting some effort into it. On top of that, we really had no place to hold it at so I was thinking of renting a place. There was a community center in the area that would have rented to us for $200. I was down for it but I told my family to help me put in for it. I was planning it for early December but of course life intervened. At the time I was planning it which was in November, so many family problems arose from my side to my hubby's side (he has a death in the family, his sister is in the middle of a custody battle that turned vishous, etc.) So we rescheduled, plus with Christmas time my famly pretty much told me they would not be able to put in any $$. Ok, so they said how about January? I decided on my B-day, cutting it close as that is one week exactly before my due date. But alas, nothing came through the community center was booked, the church we go to was booked and no could have it at their place (my mother included.)
So I finally emailed everyone today and told them it was cancelled. And I feel absolutely awful about it plus bitterly disappointed.
: I was so excited about it and now I feel resentful toward everyone who even mentioned the idea. My family is not very close and they are by no means the most dependable so I guess I should not be too surprised when the work started to fall more and more on me. But I just cant help but feel resentment. I always try to help my family- I got a scholarship for my mom to go to school, when she needs babysitters or someone to take my younger sisters to doctor's appts and such I do it. With my sister I helped her locate and put in $$ for a new apt when she was on the rocks. And now I just wish someone would have stepped up and really took the initiate to plan this for me. The bulk of the planning was on me, looking for a place, paying for it, getting invitations, decorations, etc.... I look back on it now and realize... I was planning my own damn shower!This whole thing also makes me look on my own relationships. I realize now I have NO female friends, close or just as aquaintances. I have had none now for almost 3 years. My last best female friend moved 3 years ago to North Carolina. I realize now I have isolated myself now. My goal once I have this baby is to start joining gruops and take some classes that I have been putting off for the longest.
I just wish someone would look out for you as much as you look out for them. My hubby tried to help and helped me feel better which I love him for. And in the end I realize I have to concentrate on our little family- me, him, stepdaughter and the new baby. Now I also have scramble to buy things for the baby because I have not gotten anything yet aside from a few clothes and such.
The funny thing was my mom sounded so crushed and asked me why I was cancelling it (maybe because no one helped when I asked or wanted to put in even a little $$ or even offer a place no matter how small or cramped they think it might be), and it took something on my part not to get angry. I know this might sound trivial but I am really just bummed about it. Maybe I have no right to be angry and hurt but it is just the way I feel right now. I guess what I am really angry about is that I have kept myself so isolated for so long now and that I thought my family would have my back this time but guess not...
Sorry about the long post but I really just need to vent. Last night I was in tears and today feel no better. What keeps me upbeat is this baby. I really cannot wait to give birth now just to hold him or her in my arms.
I am so sorry. I know just how you feel, I was promised 3 baby showers with DD and I never even got one.
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I can relate, Mama. No one even *offered* to throw me a shower with this pregnancy. I don't really need anything, but it would still be nice to have a little recognition for this new little baby! I have taken it upon myself to plan a luncheon at a nice-ish restaurant with my friends and family members, just so I can take some pictures and put them in the "baby shower" section of the baby book. I don't want this baby to feel "left out" that she didn't get a special party just for her, YK? I am the first one to volunteer planning a friend's baby shower as soon as she announces she is expecting, so I feel a little let down that no one offered to do anything for me. A friend of mine even joked that she had to plan her own shower too!
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