Hello!
I spent hours on Friday night reading through this forum. And it's just the support I've been searching for!
I'm expecting my fifth child. My other four were born in the hospital under the care of a family doctor (for my first two) and an OB/GYN (my second two). DH and I took a break after our fourth was born (he came a week before our oldest's fifth birthday) and now the little guy is 3 years old we decided it was time to have another one.
However, despite what I would describe as fairly positive experiences in my hospital births (ignorance is bliss, right) and the care of my OBGYN... when we found out we were expecting again, I just couldn't bring myself to call the doctor's office. I think my trepidation came more from the fact that I feared less support over having another child since we have four already. Nothing in my doctor's visits would warrant that fear, but I just couldn't shake it. (I guess after all the stupid comments from perfect strangers in grocery stores, my perception may be colored). This baby was very much planned and wanted and I hate that on the forms you fill out the very first thing they ask is if this was an accidental pregnancy. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, who knows?
Anyway, I was out at a farewell dinner for a friend when I happened to sit next to a woman that I would say was more of an acquaintance than anything. I knew she was expecting number 9 (yes, number 9) and that she had had her last two at home (the first of the two was actually an accidental UC). I had told my friends we were expecting again and a little later this acqaintance turned to me and out of the blue said, "Do you want me to give you the phone number of my midwife?" She had no idea that I was really questioning the kind of birthing experience I wanted to have (especially since I have low-risk pregnancies and fast labors and deliveries). But as we began to talk about her experiences in homebirth, it was as if a voice in my mind kept saying, "Yes! Yes! This is what you have been looking for!"
I've been doing a lot of reading, and the more I read the more sure I am that a homebirth and less interventive pre-natal care is what I'm looking for. I really evaluated my experiences with my other four children and found many things I would have done different had I been more knowledgeable. I think it's so sad that here in the US we are truly led to believe that doctors know better than us about our own bodies and what they are capable of. I fell into that trap as well.
I won't go into detail about all my experiences with hospital births, but I can sum up and say that there are things that I feel very shortchanged by. I had two of my four naturally (more out of fast labors than anything), and the other times that I caved and got an epidural (worked only on one side and the anesthesialogist yelled at me as he was administering it) and an entrathecal -- or epidural shot -- by the time they got the drugs in me and checked my cervix immediately after, I was already fully dialated. In one case I ended up having to have a catheter and went home with the worst UTI of my life because of it.
At no point does anyone say, "Your body was made to do this. You are strong enough. You're doing great." No one reminds you that pregnancy and birth are natural parts of our bodies' cycles. Everyone treats you as if you don't know anything, even if you've had other children. Everyone is happy to dope you up, encourage you to push harder (in the position they like best whether or not it's the most comfortable for you). This is birthing in a hospital birthing center meant to be more like "home". It was nothing like home.
I love the idea of having the baby in the home she/he will be nurtured in. I love the idea of not having to be woken up every half hour to have my blood pressure checked (even though I have never hemorriged sp?) or the baby checked, and not having to wait for the peditrician to check out the baby in order to go home, and not having to ask permission for anything! (My gosh, I couldn't leave the hospital without a visit from the lactation consultant whether I wanted it or not -- even though I had nursed babies before!!)
Anyway, I've been so happy to find this place. Thank you all for the great support, links to articles and book recommendations!
I spent hours on Friday night reading through this forum. And it's just the support I've been searching for!
I'm expecting my fifth child. My other four were born in the hospital under the care of a family doctor (for my first two) and an OB/GYN (my second two). DH and I took a break after our fourth was born (he came a week before our oldest's fifth birthday) and now the little guy is 3 years old we decided it was time to have another one.
However, despite what I would describe as fairly positive experiences in my hospital births (ignorance is bliss, right) and the care of my OBGYN... when we found out we were expecting again, I just couldn't bring myself to call the doctor's office. I think my trepidation came more from the fact that I feared less support over having another child since we have four already. Nothing in my doctor's visits would warrant that fear, but I just couldn't shake it. (I guess after all the stupid comments from perfect strangers in grocery stores, my perception may be colored). This baby was very much planned and wanted and I hate that on the forms you fill out the very first thing they ask is if this was an accidental pregnancy. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, who knows?
Anyway, I was out at a farewell dinner for a friend when I happened to sit next to a woman that I would say was more of an acquaintance than anything. I knew she was expecting number 9 (yes, number 9) and that she had had her last two at home (the first of the two was actually an accidental UC). I had told my friends we were expecting again and a little later this acqaintance turned to me and out of the blue said, "Do you want me to give you the phone number of my midwife?" She had no idea that I was really questioning the kind of birthing experience I wanted to have (especially since I have low-risk pregnancies and fast labors and deliveries). But as we began to talk about her experiences in homebirth, it was as if a voice in my mind kept saying, "Yes! Yes! This is what you have been looking for!"
I've been doing a lot of reading, and the more I read the more sure I am that a homebirth and less interventive pre-natal care is what I'm looking for. I really evaluated my experiences with my other four children and found many things I would have done different had I been more knowledgeable. I think it's so sad that here in the US we are truly led to believe that doctors know better than us about our own bodies and what they are capable of. I fell into that trap as well.
I won't go into detail about all my experiences with hospital births, but I can sum up and say that there are things that I feel very shortchanged by. I had two of my four naturally (more out of fast labors than anything), and the other times that I caved and got an epidural (worked only on one side and the anesthesialogist yelled at me as he was administering it) and an entrathecal -- or epidural shot -- by the time they got the drugs in me and checked my cervix immediately after, I was already fully dialated. In one case I ended up having to have a catheter and went home with the worst UTI of my life because of it.
At no point does anyone say, "Your body was made to do this. You are strong enough. You're doing great." No one reminds you that pregnancy and birth are natural parts of our bodies' cycles. Everyone treats you as if you don't know anything, even if you've had other children. Everyone is happy to dope you up, encourage you to push harder (in the position they like best whether or not it's the most comfortable for you). This is birthing in a hospital birthing center meant to be more like "home". It was nothing like home.
I love the idea of having the baby in the home she/he will be nurtured in. I love the idea of not having to be woken up every half hour to have my blood pressure checked (even though I have never hemorriged sp?) or the baby checked, and not having to wait for the peditrician to check out the baby in order to go home, and not having to ask permission for anything! (My gosh, I couldn't leave the hospital without a visit from the lactation consultant whether I wanted it or not -- even though I had nursed babies before!!)
Anyway, I've been so happy to find this place. Thank you all for the great support, links to articles and book recommendations!
