Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyBee  THis makes me cry because when I was four, I asked my step-dad if I could call him dad instead of Richard (I had forgotten about my bio-dad whom I hadn't seen in a year) his answer was, "well, if you are good for a whole year....". I knew this to be impossible and I knew he knew this was impossible so obviously my four year old brain translated this into, "No, I don't want to be your father".
The sad thing is that he is my de-facto dad and even though I have somewhat of a relationship with my bio-dad, It is Richard I wanted the love from. I am also sure that he really would like to be my father. Just dumb things people say that make a deep impression on little kids lives.
I so wish he had said, "I'd really love that".
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Wow, that makes me so sad. I wish he had said "I'd really love that" too
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I was a bit older when I asked Ra (my nickname for the man who is now my Dad) when I could call him "Dad", I was about 6 and a half when he and my mom got engaged and I asked right after they told me. He said "How about right after the wedding?" I agreed, and immediately following the ceremony I took his hand and said "Hi Dad", he cried and hugged me. The adoption followed that fall. The "Ra" nickname made a brief reappearance with Cam, he called him Grampy Ra until recently when he dropped the Ra part.
In our situation I have always told Cam he is welcome to call me Mom and I would love him to, but that I understood if he did not. Until the other day, he has always said he was not ready, so I was floored (happily floored) when he suddenly offered up the desire to call me Mom.
The day before we had talked again about the adoption, I talk about with him frequently because I want him to be totally comfortable with it when we go ahead. And I told him again about my story of adoption with my dad, and suddenly he asks me "Do you love Grampy more than you love your real dad?" I answered very honestly that yes I do. Then I explained that for me Grampy is my real dad because he is the one who was there for me and he chose to be my father. I told him "I do not know my biological father, so I cannot love someone who I don't know. So of course I would love Grampy more." He got very quiet at this point, then did a subject change (he asked me when he would become a grandfather) so I knew he needed time to process this. I asked him a bit later if he had any more questions for me about the adoption or anything else, and he told me "not right now" and went to play in his room. I think that conversation had a lot to do with his willingness to give me that title.
I am so happy right now.
