Spinoff: Would you distance yourself from (or disown) your child for circumcising? - Page 5

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by DahliaRW

I'd love my children unconditionally, but that being said I could never sit by and approve of them abusing their children. And circ is abuse. So yes, there would be some ramifications to our relationship if they were mistreating their children in any way.

Well said! My love for my child is unconditional, as I stated earlier in this thread. However, I would make my feelings well known about the issue (or any other issues of abuse), and that I'm sure would put a strain on the relationship.
Really, the question is kind of moot to me at this point. My son is intact, and we are very honest with him as why we left him that way. I just can't grasp the thought that he would want to mutilate his own genitals, let alone the genitals of his child. We can't predict the future!

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by thismama

I am so disturbed by some of these responses. This is parental love expressed very conditionally. It is controlling. Yes, you think it's valid because in your opinion the issue is so serious, but parents do this kind of thing about issues they think are serious all the time. And the pain it causes the children is so real and so deep nothing can touch or heal it.

It's so ironic, because the people who say they would treat their children this way profess to be interested in protecting the wholeness of their grandbabies' genitals. But I believe our children's spirits are at least as important. Parents wield a lot of power, and the willingness to cut off your children or punish them with distance over *anything* will be something they will be able to feel as a possibility energetically IMO. And it will harm them, whether you actually do it or not.

This thread makes me want to :

This just made me think of my relationship with my own mother. She was very abusive to me growing up. The abuse continued even after I left the house...at that point being emotionaly abusive. I see that she has made some effort, but her habits still remain to an extent...and I don't think she realizes it. No matter what, I still love her. My grandmother was 10x worse to her, than my mom has been to me...yet my mother loves my granny with every fiber of her being. Mind you, my granny admitted to nearly killing my mother as an infant by deliberately smothering her.
I only have one mom...she only has one daughter. We do what we can to get by in our relationship. It's taken a lot to get the healing we've gotten so far...and I patiently wait for more to come.
I love my child with every fiber of my being. He WILL dissapoint me in life. I EXPECT that there will be a time in life when we just don't see eye to eye. I imagine that those times will put a strain on our relationship...but I don't know that I'd have it in me to deliberately seperate myself from my child because I can't agree with him. I think disowning a child is another form of abuse, and it accomplishes nothing but pain.

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by JJsMomma

"Shmagma"

I believe "smegma" is the word you're looking for.

[TigerTail]

I think she was being ironic, which is a good step. Being playful about tense subjects helps lighten the burdens of life. There is nothing so awful we can't make each other laugh while discussing, as long as we are not ever making light of a child's pain (or an adult's sexual mutilation).

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by TigerTail

I think she was being ironic, which is a good step. Being playful about tense subjects helps lighten the burdens of life. There is nothing so awful we can't make each other laugh while discussing, as long as we are not ever making light of a child's pain (or an adult's sexual mutilation).

Perhaps....I just saw the UD thread with the word "Shmagma". I've encountered loads of people that have called it Schmegma or Schmagma. Either way...it made me LOL!!

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by A&A

My children have my unconditional love.

[JJsMomma]

Originally Posted by frenchie

I believe "smegma" is the word you're looking for.

You know I meant to type it that was right?

[trmpetplaya]

I will always love my children no matter what they do, but I would not mince words one bit if they chose to mutilate their child - male or female. They would know that I consider that act (keeping in mind that they will have all the facts well beforehand) to be nothing less than knowingly sexually assaulting a child. They will know what I think of it well before any babies are born and I don't expect to have much trouble... any girl marrying a son of mine will have to be at least tolerant of an intact penis and my daughters will be taught to have that mama-bear instinct and protect their children from harm.

But if they did... they would certainly get a ginormous piece of my mind... not a pleasant piece either. I couldn't give them a piece of my mind very effectively if I distanced myself from them...

ETA - I'd probably be so upset that my children may choose to distance themselves from me till I cooled off though... it takes a lot to make me mad, but once you do, you better look out!

love and peace.

[TigerTail]

Originally Posted by JJsMomma

You know I meant to type it that was right?

See? I knew you were joking . (If you knew how many times we have to correct it for reals... well, we always have to wonder.)

[Bartock]

I was thinking a lot about this thread last night and it disturbs me. I find it horrible that anyone would even think about disowning their children.

[riverscout]

Originally Posted by ilovemy2ds

I was thinking a lot about this thread last night and it disturbs me. I find it horrible that anyone would even think about disowning their children.

Disowning for circ'ing or disowning for any reason?

[Bartock]

Originally Posted by riverscout

Disowning for circ'ing or disowning for any reason?

Disowning for any reason

[JJsMomma]

Originally Posted by TigerTail

See? I knew you were joking . (If you knew how many times we have to correct it for reals... well, we always have to wonder.)

Ok, just making sure! LOL I hate people who can't spell (typos don't count). Well, hate is a strong word. I just don't like reading their posts. :

[dynamohumm6]

Originally Posted by trmpetplaya

I will always love my children no matter what they do, but I would not mince words one bit if they chose to mutilate their child - male or female. They would know that I consider that act (keeping in mind that they will have all the facts well beforehand) to be nothing less than knowingly sexually assaulting a child. They will know what I think of it well before any babies are born and I don't expect to have much trouble... any girl marrying a son of mine will have to be at least tolerant of an intact penis and my daughters will be taught to have that mama-bear instinct and protect their children from harm.

But if they did... they would certainly get a ginormous piece of my mind... not a pleasant piece either. I couldn't give them a piece of my mind very effectively if I distanced myself from them...

ETA - I'd probably be so upset that my children may choose to distance themselves from me till I cooled off though... it takes a lot to make me mad, but once you do, you better look out!

love and peace.

Pretty much ditto this.

I will always, always LOVE my children, no matter what. That doesn't that they won't ever do something that will cause me to not like them very much.

If my son grows up and starts beating his wife, I will still love him, and I will try to help him change. Same goes for circ, and a host of other things that "could" happen.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by kldliam

Then perhaps we can all talk about how disturbing YOUR line is.

This is really patronizing.

As TigerTail said, god forbid my kid were on death row, I'd be there, visiting. There is no "distancing" of children I grew in my womb. (or if I had adopted them, for that matter...same thing.)

Now with rape, stealing, etc. that you mentioned...........if my kid actually did it, I'd be the first to turn them in (vs. them being falsely accused.) But I'd still hold their hand through the trial, if they'd let me!

Problem with circ is, I can't turn them into the "proper authorities" because the "proper authorities" don't give a rat's behind.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by trmpetplaya

But if they did... they would certainly get a ginormous piece of my mind... not a pleasant piece either. I couldn't give them a piece of my mind very effectively if I distanced myself from them...

[~Lolosoli~]

No I wouldn't...

I also would not support the decision though...

I am raising three intactivist's though...I cannot see them ever considering it...

~Charlene~

[Getz]

I have just skimmed the other responses...

I will be preaching to my kids (a son and I am expecting a daughter) that circumcision is child abuse their wholes lives so I would be extremely disappointed should they choose to circ their own children. My guess is our relationship may become strained because I am sure I would be seen by their pro-circ spouse as the crazy, evil MIL.

I would still want to be a part of my grandchild's life though I doubt I would ever change a diaper.

I hope I never have to worry about it.

[triscuitsmom]

I cannot imagine disowning him... but I would be very very very shocked.

He is an intact male who will grow up knowing that intact is normal and natural the way males should be.

I just pray I never have to deal with this, that any future grandbabies of mine will be intact as nature intended. I do not think my child would be being a good parent otherwise.

[riverscout]

Originally Posted by A&A

There is no "distancing" of children I grew in my womb. (or if I had adopted them, for that matter...same thing.)

What if they were physically abusive towards you? There is a situation in my extended family that involves an adult male physically and verbally abusing his mother as well as stealing from her. She is a wonderful woman who has done everything she can for him. Would she be wrong if she distanced herself from him in order to protect herself? I know this off topic from the OP, but I have seen quite a few post stating it is never ever ok to distance yourself from your child for any reason, even murder or rape, but I just wondered if anyone had considered physical abuse of the parent.