Help! My 3-month-old twins refuse to tandem nurse!

[lexbeach]

I just don't understand it. . . How do they even know that their brother is nursing at the same time? I used to tandem nurse exclusively, but over the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to nurse them one-at-a-time more in hopes that they'll be hungry at different times when we're out and about (and tandem nursing is not so easy). Well, I think my plan may have resulted in the boys developing a preference for nursing alone. This would be fine if they'd always want to nurse at different times, but that is not the case. They often both want to nurse in the evening and in the morning, and when I try to nurse them on the EZ pillow, they just scream and arch and won't latch on. At first I thought I was misreading their hunger cues, but then when I try to nurse them alone, they eat hungrily. I hate nursing one baby while the other one screams. . .

Anyone else experience this? What did you do?!

TIA!

Lex

[mom3]

My boys occasionally prefer to nurse alone and sometimes they just don't like the nursing pillow. Have you tried nursing one in the cradle hold while overlapping the head of the other one as you hold him in the football hold? This works pretty good for us and I think I started trying this around 3 months. I usually put a regular bed pillow under the one in the cradle hold to support that arm. If this doesn't help just try to remember that, like most other things, this is probably a passing fase and will resolve itself just when you think you've found a solution : . As for how they know the other one is nursing, my boys seem to know. One can be completely sound asleep and if the other one is awake and starts nursing the sleeping one will wake up just as I have a let down. I guess it's one of those "twin connection" things. I'm sure someone else here has more ideas for you. Hang in there!

[1Plus2]

Hi, Lex. There are times when my girls (almost 5-months old) refuse to tandem nurse but most of the time they are okay with it. What position do you usually use? I stopped using my nursing pillow months ago and I usually use the "V hold" with them or nurse them both lying down. I sometimes purposely nurse them seperately so that I can spend some one-on-one time with them. Do you have the book "Mothering Multiples"? It's published by LLL...that's where I got it from. They have a great section on positions to use when tandem nursing.

DeeDee...my girls also seem to have that sixth sense that they know when one is nursing. I swear that one can be in a dead sleep and wake up only minutes after her sister is latched on and happily nursing.

[lexbeach]

Thanks guys! I think it might be the pillow that's bugging them. They're too big for it. I don't know why it says it lasts until they're two years old?! Maybe as a toy, but not as a nursing pillow! The thing is that they can't control their heads enough to just nurse without support (my hand or a pillow), so it's a tricky set up without the EZ pillow (not nearly so E-Z ). Luckily I've been managing to not need to nurse them at the same time the past couple of days. I'm worried about going out and about, though (been raining so haven't gone out much), because they often want to tandem nurse when we're out (probably because their mama wakes them up in the transfers from car to sling/stroller), and while it was easy to bring the nursing pillow to the park, I'm not about to drag along half of the bed pillows! I'm gonna look in the mothering multiples and see if there are any positions that the boys would be able to do. It's also hard because I have such big breasts (waiting, waiting, waiting for them to shrink some), and they really need to be supported too or my nipples get sore. I've heard you can stop supporting your breasts when the baby's head is as big as them. I think it's gonna be a looooooong time, lol.

I've also noticed that they're becoming much more aware of each other in general. When they're in the stroller, for example, one baby will start crying and I'll pick him up. As soon as he stops crying, the other baby will start. I really do feel like I'm juggling babies somedays. Also, they are happy when they're left alone on the floor "playing" next to each other, but if I leave one baby alone, he'll cry. It's so very interesting to watch their relationship develop!

Lex

[laralou]

Lex, when I am out and need to tandem nurse, I sit in my car (the seat seems to get me in the perfect position) and do the hold mom3 was describing (Tab on the right breast in the cradle and Tris on the left breast in the football with her head in Tab's lap). I can do it in the car without anything but my hands supporting them and I even usually manage a hand free to have a drink. Next time you are out and desperate, try it.

I was just really desperate the day I did it first and it worked on the first try.

As for the nursing pillow, I just sit forward on the couch and their legs hang off and they seem pretty comfortable. Maybe try that. It isn't as relaxing for you, but it will make the pillow last longer.

[Periwinkle]

Hi Lex. My ds and dd went through the same thing around 4 months, which sounds about right (due to corrected age). Well.. the bad news is, they never tandem nursed well after that. The good news is, it was only a month or two before they were eating less frequently (fewer but longer feedings instead of the on/off 24/7 of newborn days), and I really enjoyed the special time with each of them separately. I found I just liked it better. They certainly did. They got accustomed to their own nursing styles, their own favorite positions, and so on instead of having to fit with their twin. So all in all, it was a good thing for us. But not everyone feels the same way, or has babies who are as opposite as mine - dd likes it very quiet and still, as though it were her way of regrouping and having some soothing R&R. But ds is a very active nurser... he wiggles all around, plays with my hair/buttons/shirt, bobs on and off several times, looks around... etc. etc! So dd would get it his way, and for dd, ds was disturbing her. But again, those are my babies.

Hopefully you will be able to tandem nurse well soon, since it seems like you want to continue that. I'd lose the pillow though. (After 2-3 months, they didn't like how stiff it was.) Do you have a recliner or a big armchair? Try sitting back with some soft pillows under them - football style. That might be more comfy.. but again, that's just what my two liked.

Good luck!

[angie6]

My boy twin started doing this around 5 months and it was due to him having a preference to a certain side and position. It was a tough couple of months but I persisted on having him nurse in a variety of positions and on both sides to over come this problem. Could this be your problem?
I used my pillow until they were almost 1 year old. By the time they can sit up on their own you can nurse much easier sitting up. Have you tried laying down and nursing? They may not realize the other is there as much then!
My two pick on each other most of the time when they nurse now but they insist on nursing at the same time. It is rare that I can nurse one at a time!
Do you have the foam pillow or the inflateable one? Maybe if it is the inflatable one it is too firm or too soft? Mine never minded the pillow at all. Babies are very sensitive to smell so make sure it doesn't have a strong odor that could be causeing them to not want to use it. Maybe try taking the cover off and washing it and sleeping with it for a couple of nights and even dripping some of your milk along where their heads would rest if it is the foam one. If it is the inflateable one just let out the air and sleep with it under you for a few nights and also put your milk on it.
Let m eknow if I can further help you!
Angie