infant biting--->toddler biting

[mamatoady]

I'm a firm believer that how you initially respond to the first time a child behaves a certain way can either encourage or discourage the behavior for the rest of their childhood...kind of a "children learn what they live" kind of thing. So, I feel like if I respond the best way from the start, I'll have the best chances of discouraging a certain behavior.

My son is 9.2 months old. He has the sweetest disposition, as did my dd. He is different in that he is VERY oral. So, happy as a clam, he'll bounce on my lap and lay against me to hug and BITE! Sometimes I know he's teething, but other times I know it's just for experimenting and learning. With my dd, who rarely did this, I sometimes said "Ouch" and then ignored what she did and it went away. She maybe bit me 3 times her whole life (ahh, the angel child )

My son, being so orally fixated, bites actually quite a bit. Out of pain, I say "Ouch" and then change my tone and start playing with him. I'm not sure if I should do something differently or if at some point in his development I should do something differently. I don't think it's appropriate for me to tell him "No biting!" yet (I'd like opinions on this)....I don't think it's best for me to put him on the floor and tell him I can't hold him if he bites (opinions on this too)...

At what age should I start implementing a consequence for biting...I guess I feel like it's different if it's aggressive on his part, but right now it's not and I hope to keep it that way.

I have a friend who's ds bites (was at one point very frequently) and I think actually she encouraged the behavior by yelling "Ouch! no biting! I can't hold you if you bite!" and she'd put him on the floor. At which point he'd start crying and be so sad/angry when she picked him back up that he'd bite her again and then started his hitting phase.

like I said, my son from day 1 has had the sweetest, most mellow disposition and I WANT TO ENCOURAGE THIS!

thanks!

[crb]

Well, I'm with you! My ds put everything in his mouth and now is a bit of a nipper and slapper when excited. So far I have been doing the "Ow! Teeth hurt mama" and we talk about his teeth, etc. so he has an idea what the word means. For pinching, I hold his hands and help him pat my cheeks "pre-slap" when I can. It is hard because he gets a BIG reaction from dd (also 4!), so I am trying to show her what to do. So I'll be interested in hearing how various people handle this. . . I'm trying to think of an "honor the impulse" activity - show him a different way to show excitement? give him something else to pinch/bite?

[WuWei]

Have you tried Hyland's Teething tablets? or Chamomilla tablets for oral comfort? Our son has always been very oral and the tablets helped, also having a lot of teether toys too. It sounds like the biting has a soothing effect for him, so providing agreeable outlets could help.

Pat

[DevaMajka]

I agree with your first paragraph, to some extent. I think that if you deal with certain behaviors in certain ways from the beginning, there is more of a chance that they will continue.
But I think that what you are doing with your ds is the way to deal with his biting, that is least likely to cause it to continue past this stage.
The responses that, ime, are likely to lead to continued behavior are more along the lines of responding in frustration, being too harsh, and making a big deal out of things.

If he's biting because it feels good to him, I'd suggest giving him something he can bite on. Say something like "oh, don't bit me. Here, you can bite this." even though he won't really grasp it, it's a good habit to get into, and I really think that young babies know when we are explaining stuff to them (even if they don't know what the heck we're saying. lol)
If he's biting because it's a fun way to interact with you, there's all kinds of stuff you can redirect to- kissing, tickles (respectfully, obviously), pat-a-cake type games, playing with a toy together, really anything that involves fun interacting between the two of you.

I don't think it's appropriate for me to tell him "No biting!" yet (I'd like opinions on this)

Well, not in a stern tone or anything. But I'm a huge believer in being honest with kids from the beginning. So I used to tell ds, at a very young age (well, I learned this at 12 mos) that I didn't like when he did such and such, and I'd give him a substitute. So, I'd tell ds "hey, don't bite me!" as a way of giving info, not as a form of discipline per se. kwim?

I don't think it's best for me to put him on the floor and tell him I can't hold him if he bites (opinions on this too)...

I totally agree with that.

At what age should I start implementing a consequence for biting...

imo, no age. Figure out what the impulse is, and give him an acceptable alternative way to express that impulse.

[2'sEnuf]

similar problem

hi, my son also likes to bit - he thinks it funny... and sometimes it is, so its so hard not to laugh with him... i tried a variety of the suggestions already mentioned and ive found responding with kisses and tickles have decreased the behavior ( i have to admit there have been times that hes bitten me so hard i couldnt help but yell in pain and its hard not to get angry)

now he has found pulling my hair to be more fun and i dont know how to handle it - when im carrying him on my back or if my husband is holding him and standing behind me he will get two handfuls and not let go - he is so strong! it takes both me and my dh to pry his fingers open. when he is in the backpack and no one to help i have had to resort to pinching his calf to get him to let go - the entire time he is laughing so i know he thinks it a great game. sometimes he wont stop and i have to take him out of the pack, but this means i either need to treat it like a time out or stay with him and not be able to finish what i was trying to do which is why i had him in the pack in the first place.... any ideas??