Next Time

[October16Mom]

Okay, so I'm already thinking ahead to the next birth, and I know I can't predict anything based on the last one.

Here's my story on the last birth. I was all pumped up about having a natural birth, and was sure I could do it. I had prodromal labor for weeks before I had dd, with no dilation. So, I went into labor feeling exhausted and spent eight hours breathing through hard contractions just to get to 2 cm. At that point, I was so tired that I wasn't sure how I was going to handle the pushing stage. So, I asked for an epidural and kept saying, "I'm such a wimp. I'm such a wimp."

I feel really guilty saying this, but I did like my epidural. It gave me enough relief that I could rest, wasn't too dense so I could feel how to push, no side effects, baby did well, etc. I know I got it way too early, but everything turned out well and I had a great vaginal birth even if it wasn't natural.

So, here's the thing. I still really want a natural birth next time, but I'm afraid that if things get bad, I will remember how wonderful the epidural felt and I will chicken again. Is there anyone out there who had an epidural the first time that they were grateful for, but didn't have one/were able to resist for the next birth?

Yes, I've done my research and know all the bad things that can happen. But since none of that happened for me, I'm afraid it will make it too easy to do again the next time. I didn't have anyone pushing me to get one, I just got to the end of my rope after trying the jacuzzi and birthing ball and walking around. I'm hoping that my next labor will maybe be faster, and I won't have time to wish for an epidural. Sigh. Anyone out there been in this situation?

[Funny Face]

Your story sounds a lot like mine. I was in labor for 33 hours before I got my epidural and I was so tired that I passed out right away and woke up 2 hours later to push. I too was afraid that this time I would think of the epidural and it would be 'easier' to get one because there were no major complications. I realized that for me, just going to the hospital feels associated with the epidural. I remember how panicked I felt when I got there and know that if I did things the same way again (even without the lengthy labor) that I might end up with the same result.

So this time I plan to birth in a birth center or, hopefully, at home. If the meds aren't available I don't think I'll think about them. I didn't think about them last time until I got to the hospital. I also plan on finding a doula because I know that if someone can help me manage the pain then I won't get to the point where I throw in the towel, like last time.

Even if you go the hospital route next time I'd really consider having a doula as they greatly reduce the epidural rate for their patients.
I won't tell you that 'women have been doing it for thousands of years" because I know that statements do nothing for me... people performed surgery without anesthesia and in non sterile conditions for thousands of years but that doesn't mean we should go about it in the same manor.

I would say that there are ways to manage the pain and that if things go as they should, you'll do great! Try to remember that for some woman a few interventions can be necessary or beneficial and it sounds like this was true in your case.

In most labors I don't think epidurals are necessary, but sometimes you end up being the exception instead of the norm.
Plan for the norm this time!
Good luck!

[mamavegan]

I'm aiming for a natural birth, too!

I don't think that you did anything wrong. You did what you thought was best for you at the time. I mean, if you're about worn out at 2 cm, where would you have been at 8cm? You were able to rest and be more alert and ready for the pushing stage. How would you have felt if you were too exhausted or worn down to really enjoy welcoming your baby into the world?

We all need to do what 'works' for us. It just so happened that getting the epidural is what worked for you at the time. The next birth may be completely different. I strongly believe that, epidural or not, all women are entitled to a guilt free birth experience. You took care of that baby in your womb for 9 months and you brought your infant safely into the world. That is always a success to me.