Intro - kinda of new to hs - kids aren't taking too well and I might lose my mind

[doulamomvicki]

I will start by saying it has been a rough day so I hope I don't sound too negative. I homeschooled DS1 for 3 years of highschool and it was such a great experience for both of us. But these 2 boys, Good Lord help me!

I pulled DS2 and DS3 from their Catholic Montessori at the end of November and started to homeschool them. There were so many reasons why we did but the 2 big ones were 1 - the school was becoming really weak in their teaching of the Faith. This was a really big deal to dh and I. We struggled finacially to send the kids to Catholic school for the teaching of the Faith. The school went through many changes in admin and clergy and the final result was a very secular school. Anyone who knows me and how tolerant I am must be thinking "It must be real bad for her to think that" The #2 reason was the boys were really miserable. Again, there were alot of changes in admin and staff. DS2 was being belittled by his teacher and no one seemed to care enough to help him. He began to have panic attacks and we sought conseling for him. The conselor tried to talk to the school and teacher with no luck. DS3 in the meantime was never a good Montessori student and was overwhelmed and anxious everyday. I saw him falling real far behind in class and no one seem to notice or care. So I pulled them out. Like I said before there are also several other reasons why. It is real sad too, up until this year we really loved the school.

So, here I am trying to muddle my way through. The first couple of weeks were terrible and the boys were real mad. They say they really miss their friends, not the school. I think they miss the flow of their day too. I am getting more organized for their sake so it is more like a real school day. But the interaction with other kids is the biggest thing. Everytime we go to the libarary, DS2 gets sad when he sees the kids with their backpacks. What I decided to do is enroll the boys at a charter school that several of our local Catholic homeschooling families have their kids at. They go 1 or 2 days a week for extra ciriculars. This also provides me with support in lesson planning and materials. I already have Seton materials and can still use them at the charter school, so that was good.

Today was the hardest day. They fought on and off all day, no one wanted to do their lessons, and they blame me for everything wrong in the world. I ended up losing it at the end of the day, screaming at them both (and DD who was home today being a total PITA) I told dh I am giving this 6 months and if things aren't better I am putting them in a traditional , non diocesian school in our area. I feel like a lousy mom: , lousy homeschooler and a total loser.

I have another problem too. I haven't told anyone in my family. They think our family is strange as it is. What to do......

[Lillian J]

Aw, c'mon - you don't get to label yourself "a lousy mom, lousy homeschooler and a total loser" over something like this. One thing you didn't realize was that you all really needed a good decompression/deschooling period. Here's a thread that leads to a number of good articles on this:
Decompression/Deschooling - well worth reading. And it isn't too late. You need to spend some time having fun together and relaxing, getting to know one another in new ways - it isn't time lost but time well invested. Lillian

[luvmybabies]

You're not a lousy mama!! You're trying to do what is best for the kiddos that is what matters!
Can you get involoved in a co-op where you are? Then the kids could have more time with other kids, and that would be more scheduled, since you think they might miss that.
I was nervous to tell our families we were homeschooling too, but they are surprisingly supportive. Are they Catholic as well? If so explain that was part of your decision, you want the kids raised with a firm Catholic faith.

[mattemma04]

I have often seen it posted that if things are not going well with one method then change gears and try something else. Perhaps take a break from formal lessons and have them do learning cd-rom games.Take a few field trips.Do some more hands-on activites. As for the friends from school you can have them contact their friends to set up some get-togethers and maybe a sleep over here and there.

[genifer]

Lovey, I lost my mind months ago. Ive found it since then but its a bit battered and actually gone all mushy. We took ours out in April '06. For me, my focus has been more on family and learning how to live together being more important (or as important as) academics. We have days where we fight all day too. Mine are ages 7, 7, 5. I also am utterly determined to make it work as if there is no other option. Ive done what the pp said in changing gears. For example, I was experimenting with the Charlotte Mason approach but by end of Nov it just fell to pieces and we took the whole of Dec off. I found that the kids learned without my pressure. At first one of my girls missed her friends, she's my little social butterfly. We also go to church and they have friends there too. They play computer games, I ask them (ok I make them) do some handwriting and maybe some copy work once in a while. and I try to teach them math. We are reading little house series and its awsome. We get into conversations about slavery (slavery isnt even mentioned I dont think in the novels but somehow they brought the subject up). They play world explorer games on the computer, learn all sorts about Geography.

Homeschooling is the only option for us so Im determined to make it work. Im willing to battle thru the hard spots because I think its worth it.

And mamma. I lose it all the time and my kids still tell me Im the best mum in the world. When I lose it I say sorry and explain to them what Im feeling, we talk (poor things dont know any better).

[doulamomvicki]

Thanks everyone for the support! Yesterday was better for sure. I am going to try some different things to see what works best.

[funkygranolamama]

Do your kids get plenty of interaction through your church activities? It seems like there should be a pretty good Catholic support group around. If not, maybe you can consider starting one yourself. I second the decompression period. It makes all the difference.

[doulamomvicki]

We actually have a large Catholic homeschooling group that meets for mass and class every Friday. We have gone 3 times and haven't formally met any of the families. I guess I need to be a little more assertive and stop waiting for people to introduce themselves to us . My boys have been a little resistent to meeting new friends since we started hs. I am not too sure what is up with that .

[Shawna N]

Ok- I have two books to recommend. One by the Moores called the Successful Homeschooling family Handbook. It talks about ways to avoid burnout. It works so well for our family. The second book is by Dr. Gordon Neufeld called "Hold onto your Kids, Why Parents need to Matter More then Peers" You will feel great support for what you are doing for your children after reading this one. It also has terrific ideas of how to connect with your children which ultimately will help you all through this.