Tandem Nursing Adopted/Bio Sibs?

[HennaLady]

Tandem Nursing Adopted/Bio Sibs?

Has anyone done this or have any feedback on the possibility? We have two bio children one year apart that have been tandem nursing for more than a year and a half now. It's intense for me, but the bond they have and the understanding of sharing is remarkable (and I believe enhanced by their nursing together). I would like to repeat this with a second sibling set (anywhere from 0 to 1 year apart), and we would like to adopt domestically in a few years rather than have two more bio children. In our homestudy would we be less eligible for adoption with a newborn on the way or with us already because we would be seen as over-extended? Or would we be seen as offering a unique opportunity for an adopted child to integrate fully into our family?

Just as an aside, I am so thankful for this sub-community. As an AP mother I have many concerns and questions about how we may or may not fit within the adoption world and I have learned SO much from visiting here.

Thank you,
Keleigh

[mamanicki]

When I was first on the path to adoption I had TONS of AP-type questions and nowhere to turn. I wish I had thought to come here!

I'm not all that familiar with domestic adoption but I do recall that it really can vary. Are you talking about a private domestic adoption? Assuming that you are, a birthmom may consider a big close-knit family to be a plus. Or a birthmom may consider that you would be overextended, the child may not get enough attention, etc. It really depends on each individual birthparent's opinions and life experiences. I would not advertise the nursing aspirations even though they are completely appropriate because it may really put off a birthmom. But that's just me.

As for adopting out of birth order, it is frowned upon by some professionals so you may have to call around and ask the question to find an agency that is the right fit.

Incidentally I am tandem nursing my adopted baby and my older son. Not exlusively thanks to no milk supply anymore but it is a great way to bond with the new baby, milk or no milk.

[Momma Aimee]

i am not sure how you would work the details -- how old your youngest would be when a new "baby" or "tot" came home and so on.......

but I have othen thought that if I still had milk, and my youngest was still nurseing when we adopted ... then sure I would TN. I mean you can't tell one no when the other IS doing it. right? and If I am nuresing a 3yo or so and have a 18 month old join the family.... seems natural to me.

Now -- if it was foster to adopt you'd face issues with teh state and the birth parents. Now if you were working with a private domesitc adgency to get a new born -- a birth mom might or might not choose you OR they might choose you because of it. (see if I was the birth mom I woudl ONLY choose someone willing to bf -- be if TN, relacation, or induced lactation -- but that is me). Not sure how it wuld reflect on a home study -- i think in that situation it would be simply teh choise of the birth mom.

But while i have no expreince with they yet -- if you did an international adoption, and bought home a 9 to 18 month old, or even a 2 yo -- i would try.

You can't get your heart set on it -- an older child who may not have ever nursed, with lanuage conflict with you too -- might not ever be able to latch on.

http://www.fourfriends.com/abrw/forum/index.php?

this is a site about breastfeeding the adoptive child -- you might find more informationt there.

Aimee