I honestly don't know whethter to be p*ssed

[wytchywoman]

about this or not. DS 1 pulled an envelope out of his backpack this morning and handed it to me. Inside was several papers that indicated that myself and DS had been referred to some woman for a very intensive family counseling program. I asked DS who had given it to him and he said one of his teachers. I then asked if all of the kids in that class got one and he said no just a few did.
I wasn't aware that someone down at the school obviously thinks I am a total f*ck up as a mother. I will admit that early on in the year DS had some rocky times with his grades and not being honest about having homework, but with a few chats with DS and a lot of communication with his teachers it is worked out now and his grades are really good. The only other thing I can think of is that he has ADD but we already receive services for this through a local counseling agency.
I keep telling myself that whoever did this was just thinking they were trying to help, but it really saddens me that they couldn't even call me and tell me they think I should do this program with my kid. They just enroll me in it and assume I will go ( which even if I was dieing to go, I can't I work at night).
If all the kids brought home these flyers I would have no problem. It's just that one of the powers that be have decided we are on the naughty list and need help, KWIM?
Would any of you be PO'd about this?

Namaste,

Michelle

[Amber Lion]

Yes I'd be pissed, there should have been some sort of communication with you about it prior to enrolling you. What is it even - can a school force you to go to "family counseling"? If you don't go what happens?

[wytchywoman]

As far as I know, they can't force me and they can't take any action if I don't go. This is not in response to DS doing anything wrong at school ( at least as far as I know he hasn't, I haven't received any letters or phone calls about him). I think we just showed up on someone's radar because of his grade difficulties earlier in the year and now we have been targeted as one of those "high needs" families. Thanks for the hugs and understanding.

Namaste,

Michelle

[Ruthla]

That sounds weird- they "signed you up" for it, it's not just an informational brochure about the available counseling? And somebody made an appt for you without consulting you first?

[Anarkissed Mama]

yeah I'd be upset. that's not ok. I hate impersonal institutions that make judgments about our lives!

[forthebest]

Yep thats way out of line imo, some of these so-called authority figures do not have the sense to understand that you should have been asked first, whether after being informed of said classes you wanted to and if you are able to attend if you agreed to them. They obviously have control and personal choice issues which I personally would point out if it was me. They wouldn't get away with that here in uk, the only authority figures who get away with making desicions for other people are social services and the courts. And obnoxious Xpartners!Of course there's no point in getting upset about stuff like this imo but perhaps it's not a bad idea to put these ignorant people in their places now and again if you have the time, energy and inclination. They are after all passing judgement on someone's situation while knowing nothing of the facts.

[Kirsten]

Well, to me the OP sounds like she got something saying they were referred, not signed up or an appointment made or anything like that.

I would probably be a little miffed and confused. I'd just call the number and ask who referred me and why. Even if they won't tell you who it was, they should be able to tell you the criteria for referral.

I'd recycle it if you feel it doesn't apply to you, and you said it wasn't at a time that worked for you anyway. But I think it is nice that they have programs for people who might need them (of course not knowing a thing about the program - but just in general).

[wytchywoman]

Thanks for all the responses and support gals. Basically what the letter said was that this woman, the facilitator of the classes, would be calling me to get some information about our family and confirm we will be attending. I am hoping it was worded that way to give an extra strong nudge to people who might be ambiguous about attending something like this. I am going to figure out who referred us and speak to them about it. They should have called me, plain and simple. It would have saved some trees and some of their time because 1) I can't go 2) I am already receiving services for my son so this is unnecessary.
I think it is sad that it took place this way and I wonder how many other parents they have alienated by handling it in this fashion. That's a shame too because this seems like a great program. They provide dinner and childcare for younger siblings ( free of charge) and if you complete the program you get a stipend of $200. I am sure there are people out there who could use the info and the cash the class would bring. I just wonder why didn't they just make a flyer and pass it out to all the kids, or post it on their website? It's the whole, pick and choose, I think THIS family is screwed and needs help thing that yanks my chain. KWIM? Anyways, thanks again for your help!!!!

Namaste,

Michelle

[Stinkerbell]

I think it's very inappropriate that they did not call and discuss their concerns with you first. SOmeone dropped the ball.

[Shenjall]

Is it possible your ds wanted to go and "signed" you guys up for it? But felt ambarrased to tell you? Just a thought.....

But of course, someone should have called you or sent the note directly to your home, and not handed out at the school either.

All the best to you.

[momfirst]

I've recieved something similar, but it wasn't meant for us. It was just a form that was generated when a child fell below X mark at school. I felt that it was a total waste of time to mail this out...my dd was in special ed and was already recieving services for the issues that were mentioned in the mailing that came out.

I called the number and talked to someone and I talked to my dd's teacher. Like I said, the mailing wasn't meant for me, it just went out to the 'computer generated' students...they didn't take the time to double check any names.

I wouldn't get all worked up about this until you take the time to talk to someone and see what it's all about.

[Cherie2]

My friend works for a research company. They do a lot of work with schools. The company may have asked the school to had this out to every child who met a certain criteria ... i think that is something my friends company would do.