14 month old & 18 month old--discipline?

[StrawberryFields]

Hi,

I am a first time mom to a 14 month old boy and I watch an 18 month old girl 2x/week. Up until now things have been fairly straightforward but this week I headed into uncharted territory--young toddlers acting out toward each other. First, the 18 mo girl was sitting on a rocking chair when ds walked up, grabbed her by the shirt, and attempted to throw her off the chair. Later, she grabbed a wooden car and cracked ds in the head with it--hard.

I have no idea what to do because they are so young. I don't know how much they understand! But, I can't let them continue to act violently toward each other either--even if it isn't on purpose--and supervision only goes so far. I can't anticipate and intercept every single blow.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

At this age, impulse control is very very limited and you can't really rely on them to be able to control themselves. Intervention is going to be key, and trying to set up the environment so that there are fewer frustrations between them.

Two of everything might help some. Two rocking chairs, if the chair continues to be an issue. Two sets of playdoh, etc. Not necessarily for everything but for the "hot" items. Also having items that are equally interesting, if possible, to redirect one child to when they are wanting what the other child has.

If you can set up two separate areas, maybe with a gate, each with its own set of toys, when they are more likely to be aggressive with each other (such as cranky before naps or lunch), you can separate them for a bit.

It would also be good to work on some basic communication skills then model, model, model. Signing Time or other signing videos might help. Two useful signs to start with are "Please" (as shorthand for "May I play with that toy? Or may I have that?") and "Stop" (when one child is infringing on another's space or body).

Also trying to keep activities interesting, so they are more focused on the activity than what the other child is doing. Messy play is fun at this age. You can put a shower curtain or old sheet down and provide a tub of dried beans, cooked cooled spaghetti, bowl of water and cups to scoop with, etc.

[StrawberryFields]

Thank you so much for your response and ideas! It's just as I thought, that they are too young to control themselves much. I hope that I am able to adequately referee! Sometimes it seems that no matter how many of something I have, they always want what the other one is playing with/eating/sitting on!