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Would you ever consider being a surrogate? - Page 8

post #141 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by KsMum View Post
If they needed to use my eggs, then for my sister only, using someone elses eggs, then also for friends. Not for a stranger.
Same for me as well
post #142 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog View Post
The baby isn't the only thing being given away in a surrogacy.
I have been a surrogate twice now. Perhaps you can enlighten me as to what you are talking about.

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post #143 of 178
The right to bodily autonomy is always sacrificed somewhat during pregnancy in our culture. What a woman eats, drinks, smokes, how she exercises, what medicine she takes, is no longer solely about her and society feels free to interfere with her body in various ways. All the more so when someone else holds a contract granting them the fetus in your womb.
post #144 of 178
No, I'm one of those people (high risk complications aside) who just doesn't really enjoy pregnancy. The only thing that gets me through is knowing that *I'll* have a baby at the end of the process. I would be crushed if I had to give it away.
post #145 of 178
Subbing:
post #146 of 178
: Said I was subbing then never did lol
post #147 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog View Post
The right to bodily autonomy is always sacrificed somewhat during pregnancy in our culture. What a woman eats, drinks, smokes, how she exercises, what medicine she takes, is no longer solely about her and society feels free to interfere with her body in various ways. All the more so when someone else holds a contract granting them the fetus in your womb.
um, okay..... (look of confusion)

I dont care who's baby this is. I will do my best to grow one as healthy as possible. What does that have to do with surrogacy?
I was not forced to become a surrogate. This was my choice and I picked the people I would work with. No one! NO ONE tells me what I can or cannot do. I make decisions about my body and pregnancy based on what I feel is right.
post #148 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadfamily6now View Post
um, okay..... (look of confusion)

I dont care who's baby this is. I will do my best to grow one as healthy as possible. What does that have to do with surrogacy?
I was not forced to become a surrogate. This was my choice and I picked the people I would work with. No one! NO ONE tells me what I can or cannot do. I make decisions about my body and pregnancy based on what I feel is right.
With respect, I think you're thinking about this more concretely than BSD was talking about. And I'm surprised to see you say "NO ONE tells me what I can or cannot do" since you have a contract to give away the baby you give birth to. That's about as 'telling you what to do' as it gets. It's not about whether anyone forced you to become a surrogate, but the fact that your consent to hand the baby over is besides the point... it's simply not needed... that baby will be taken at birth regardless of whether you want it to happen or not.

But I think - and BSD correct me if I'm wrong - that she was talking more philosophically about what it's like to be pregnant. You go from being your own person to having it seem ok, even expected, to have OTHER PEOPLE commenting on your body, making decisions about your healthcare, and feeling ownership over the results of your choices. Surely you can't argue with that aspect. Unless you're doing UP/UC, and even then, I'd suppose that a lot of what you did was based on your cultural expectations of what you should be doing during pregnancy (measuring fundal height, checking cervix, taking BP, counting fetal movements, etc.) ... expectations that others gave you - it's not like these things are instincts for women to perform during pregnancy!
post #149 of 178
I've heard of one surrogate contract that allowed for a homebirth. I've heard of many more where the "parents" not doing the gestating stipulated that the pregnant woman must "consent" to a c-section if it was deemed necessary.

Even outside surrogacy women have been forced into sections and other interventions.
post #150 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
And I'm surprised to see you say "NO ONE tells me what I can or cannot do" since you have a contract to give away the baby you give birth to. That's about as 'telling you what to do' as it gets. It's not about whether anyone forced you to become a surrogate, but the fact that your consent to hand the baby over is besides the point... it's simply not needed... that baby will be taken at birth regardless of whether you want it to happen or not.
Didn't she "consent" to give the baby up when she signed the contract of her own free will? How is that someone "telling [her] what to do?"

Also, you say "that baby will be taken at birth regardless of whether you want it to happen or not" but earlier you were very firm that a surrogate had the right to keep the baby if she wants to no matter what. :
post #151 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverscout View Post
Didn't she "consent" to give the baby up when she signed the contract of her own free will? How is that someone "telling [her] what to do?"

Also, you say "that baby will be taken at birth regardless of whether you want it to happen or not" but earlier you were very firm that a surrogate had the right to keep the baby if she wants to no matter what. :
People who have free will can withdraw their consent at any time. She cannot. She cannot decide tomorrow to withdraw her consent.*

*And please... I'm talking philosophically here about control over one's body when pregnant in general and a surrogate specifically, not feeling the need to rehash the whole "what if the court upholds her changing her mind" thing for the sake of not clouding the issue or beating a dead horse.
post #152 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
*And please... I'm talking philosophically here about control over one's body when pregnant in general and a surrogate specifically, not feeling the need to rehash the whole "what if the court upholds her changing her mind" thing for the sake of not clouding the issue or beating a dead horse.

No need for the "and please." I simply asked because I was confused about where you were coming from. It seemed earlier you were saying surrogates had the power to change their minds and then it appeared were saying the opposite. As far as the legal stuff I asked you about earlier, that was not a challenge. Sorry if you feel I was "beating a dead horse." But I seriously wanted to know more about the case. I find things like that interesting. Sorry if I offended you in some way.
post #153 of 178
Don't think I could do it, I would be afraid something bad could happen to me such that I could not be there for my own childeren anymore. Pregnancy and delivery are not without risks. Maybe I would do it for my sisters. I know what infertility is like, it took us 3 years to conceive DD.

Carma
post #154 of 178
My mom is married to a younger man, and he doesn't want children right now. She's afraid that if and when he wants a child, she might not be physically able to have one.

Would I be her surrogate?

I'm just not sure. It's not the issue of carrying a baby to term and then parting with it, because this particular baby would end up being my brother or sister so I'd be a part of their life. But...what about all the children in the world who have no family? Wouldn't adoption just be a better choice in her situation?

I just don't know. This is a tough question. Lots of conflicting emotional data to sort though. :
post #155 of 178
Sounds like you'd be his surrogate, not hers. She already has at least one child.

Does it not seem disturbing to think of receiving sperm from one's stepfather and gestating one's half-sibling? I would think this would fall under several social taboos.
post #156 of 178
Social taboos are just that... taboos. It was considered tabboo for women to wear pants, at one point. It was considered taboo for white women to "intermingle" with black men.(<- and still is in some places... : )

Western cultural paradigms. Not nec. right, and very often not.

No one's suggesting it's an ideal arrangement, nor that anyone ought to sleep with their mother's husband and such, but rather, that if circumstances arrange themselves so, and the need is there, some are willing to allow for that paradigm shift, in order to facillitate what, for their individual moral compass, seems right... the gift of motherhood / fatherhood. Some have the strength of character and spirit to do this... some find it abhorrent. Is it possible that those who find it distasteful are simply products of a puritanically-based society, reacting to paradigmal dogma?
post #157 of 178
I think the incest taboo is a pretty sensible one, actually. I wouldn't compare it to women wearing pants.
post #158 of 178
Incest is an ugly word for (potentially) agreeing to carry a child of one's mother, and one's step father... isn't incest: Sexual relations between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom.
The statutory crime of sexual relations with such a near relative
?

I don't see any incest mentioned anywhere in this whole thread, girl, except by you.
post #159 of 178
Incest taboo is an anthropological term. For the last couple ten thousand years of human history, having your stepfather's child meant having sex with him. There was a taboo against this for a number of very good reasons. I don't think it's either good or reasonable to expect that history to be forgotten and thrown aside now that doctors can play god and put babies wherever they wish.
post #160 of 178
This 2007... welcome to the new millenium. The standards our predessecors set for us don't hold true all the time nowadays.

Slippery slope, indeed...
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