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Would you ever consider being a surrogate? - Page 2

post #21 of 178
I would happily grow a baby for my "respected" family or friends with their eggs and sperm. I could never do it using my own eggs or for a stranger.
post #22 of 178
I might, but never with my own egg, and the parents would have to be hardcore AP.
post #23 of 178
I would do it for my sister but not for anyone else.
post #24 of 178

I could with a couple conditions...

1)...It was their egg and sperm...I couldn't give my own baby away.

2)They were good people.

3)They wouldn't mind me being a family friend after the birth.
post #25 of 178
i could never do it. my pregnancies aren't horrible, but they aren't blissful either. mostly though, i just know that i would never be okay with not parenting a baby after carrying it for nine months (no matter whose eggs and sperm it was).

also, i don't think surrogacy should be banned, but i do have some personal, ethical concerns with it.

i would donate my eggs to my sister or a close friend, if i felt sure that the baby would be raised with in a loving home (my definition, of course).
post #26 of 178
I'd love to be able to say yes, but no i don't think i could , if my sister couldn't have babies of her own then i would think about doing it for her but thats it no one else, i was wanting to do it for friends of my dad who are haveing trouble concvieving but when i really thought about it deep down i knew i just couldn't, as soon as i see those little lines i'm thinking about my baby and how i can't wait to see him/her, the bond is there long before birth, so theres no way i could just hand over the baby after birth
post #27 of 178
No, I would not.
post #28 of 178
I could be a gestational surrogate for a close friend or family member. I could never give away my eggs.

I would talk extensively with them about their parenting views before agreeing to it. For example, I would never carry a child if I knew he would be circumcized.
post #29 of 178
Just something to think about but I have twin sisters. One has children and the other like myself has fertility issues. My sister told her that if she ever wanted her to she would be a surrogate for her, this was like 10 years ago. Since then I also have been unable to get pregnant. Right now my sister is due in April with my other sisters baby, more like an open adoption. But I still feel like the sister being a surrogate feels bad that she is carrying a child for my sister and not one for me. At the time they made the deal I was still quite young and never really thought that far in advance. After this pregnancy my sister is getting her tubes tied.

That said if it were someone elses eggs and sperm I could do it. I would htink of myself more like the incubator. If it were my eggs I would consider it to be more like an open adoption.
post #30 of 178
Yep - We tried to harvest my eggs for my sister, but it didn't work. She ended up getting pregnant naturally a few years later.

And I just recently offered the idea of talking about my carrying a baby for a friend of mine. I don't know if we'd do it, but I said it was something we could talk about if that turned out to be the problem. They really want a baby and I really want them to have one.
post #31 of 178
I couldn't. I would grow way too attached to a baby living inside me for that long and especially after delivering and seeing/holding the baby. No way I could give him/her up.
post #32 of 178
Never. I have real moral issues with the whole process, and would be way too attached to the baby growing inside of me. Too much playing God for me.
post #33 of 178
I could only do it for a relative or a very close friend. Infertility is awful and if I could save someone I loved from it, then I would. That being said, I would not be ok with using my own eggs.

I'm sure I would still bond with the child while I was carrying him/her and the postpartum period would probably be hard too but the end result would be worth it to me.
post #34 of 178
I couldn't do it. I would be too connected to the baby to ever let it go.

But, I totally support women who CAN do it!
post #35 of 178
Nope, never.
post #36 of 178
I used to want to. Then I ended up with a difficult first pregnancy, not sure if I could go through it again without being able to keep the baby as my own at the end of the ride.

I may reconsider if I have a healthier 2nd pregnancy.
post #37 of 178
I would have...in my 20's.

But probably not now...this pregnancy (at 32) is a lot more uncomfortable and difficult than my previous pregnancies in my early 20's...and doing so would cause a drain on my resourcefulness to my own family, so that's the only reason I wouldn't.
post #38 of 178
Originally Posted by Cutie Patootie View Post
I would happily grow a baby for my "respected" family or friends with their eggs and sperm. I could never do it using my own eggs or for a stranger.
Ditto that exactly. Could never do it with my own eggs (couldn't even donate eggs, although it makes me sad I feel that way, as I know what joy it could bring to another couple...but I just couldn't know that I had a biological child growing up somewhere that I had not contact with.

That's why it would have to be close family or friends - if I'd carried the baby (even though it wasn't biologically mine), I'd want to be involved in its life.

And I could ONLY do it if the prospective parents agreed in writing that they would not circ if it was a boy (not an issue here in the UK, but if I was a surrogate for family/friends in the States...no WAY could I carry a baby and then hand him over for someone to cut off part of his body without his consent).

Reading through some of the other comments - I understand people saying they couldn't, because they get so attached to the baby they are carrying. I think I could do this because we are finished with our own family, and I have no desire to be the mother of a newborn again.

I really think that should be a pre-requisite for surrogacy - that the surrogate mom is finished having her own family. It would be very difficult otherwise, I think (even more than it would be otherwise).
post #39 of 178
This is an interesting discussion. Both of my children were conceived using an anoymous sperm donor and we are grateful to this unknown man every second. Though, honestly, we don't think of him or his sperm very often. Are kids are just our kids. I would want to give the same gift to someone. I would donated my eggs because, for me, it's just giving someone a part they're missing or some DNA that they need. I would have a harder time being a surrogate, though I would do it for a friend or family member in need. It would be hard for me because, although I am done having children, I still think about having a 3rd and I get woosy and dreamy when I think about holding another newly birthed baby. But this is all for nothing because I'm considered too old to be an egg donor.

I am curious if those who aren't comfortable with the idea of donating eggs feel the same about donated sperm. It seems many people think differently about sperm. What about an anoymous versus known donor?
post #40 of 178
Yep, considered it and have done it. Twice. It was one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done. I would do it again, but the both times I did it I had twins and I don't think I could do that again. I'm also getting older and would like to have one more baby of my own. That and having 6 babies in six years has taken a bigger toll on my body than I expected!

Both couples were not people I knew before hand. We used the mother's eggs in both cases. The first couple I don't have much contact with, but the second live about 30 minutes away and I see them whenever I want (which isn't much, I'm not very attached). I also nursed the second set of twins for two weeks and pumped for 13.
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