I don't really know where to post but figure this is as good a place as any. I'm feeling so sad and fragile this past week and I know much of it has to do with my 2.5yo dd weaning. I'm crushed. I'm heart-broken. I always said I nurse her as long as she wanted/needed to and now it appears she's finished. I had mentally and emotionally prepared to nurse a 3,4 or 5 year old and she's through at 2.5 
: I'm feeling a lot of guilt too--I set a lot of boundaries when it came to nursing. Her latch had become lazy and it often hurt to nurse so I really limited our sessions and often tried over and over again to correct her latch asking her to "try again" and "open wide" and "suck gently". I can't help but think that all of this took the joy out of it for her, that and getting the message that mom's nipples often hurt while nursing. She's quit asking on her own and I want to respect that. I don't want to push it if she's truely done. I just didn't know it'd hurt so much. A big part of our relationship is being renegotiated now. She's suddenly more independant as well and while it fills me up to see her carry on a conversation with someone else or run off with her buddies or another momma during our co-op preschool class, it also hurts a bit. I'm depressed and I feel pathetic. It seems childish or immature. These are things I've wanted for her but now it's hear and it seems too soon. I feel like I'm grieving right now. It's such a bittersweet period and I feel like no one understands.
This has brought up a surprising revelation now too--I realize that I've felt pretty confident being the mother to a baby, but am having some true fear and anxiety about being a strong, loving, warm mother to a child. My mom didn't have it in her. She was pretty stern and uninviting. I am not her, I know I'm not but I'm feeling my confidence wane. My dh keeps reminding me that I am a different person, that I've worked hard to become the mother and person I am but I just feel like everything is changing.
Which brings me to my final sad point. My dh and I had talked about starting to "try" for baby #2 after the holidays. January came (I realize it hasn't been long) and I've found I don't want to. I know that's o.k. but I'm seriously suddenly wondering if I'm only meant to mother one child. I always wanted 2 but probably 3 kiddos but I don't know if I can. I feel like it's often difficult to get through the day with one little bug that I can't imagine adding one more to the mix--and and infant at that. My dh and I agree that we're both feeling like we're "finally getting our lives back" and it'll be tough to do it all over again. That being said, I'm finding myself feeling "left out" or "left behind" with each friend that tells me she's pregnant. Does everyone go through this? I LOVED being pregnant the first time and I thought I'd crave being pregnant again. This time it feels like work, something I'll do because I'm supposed to. I just want a "surprise" baby, then I'll be able to stop fretting so. My dh and I feel that our dd needs a sibling. She's such a loving, gentle, sweet girl who just adores babies. More than anything I'd love to have another for her, I just wonder if I'm cut out for it.
Final note/question: Has anyone been through a hormone imbalance/depression after their dc weaned? I wonder if that's what's going on, and if so, what I can do to get through it.
: I'm feeling a lot of guilt too--I set a lot of boundaries when it came to nursing. Her latch had become lazy and it often hurt to nurse so I really limited our sessions and often tried over and over again to correct her latch asking her to "try again" and "open wide" and "suck gently". I can't help but think that all of this took the joy out of it for her, that and getting the message that mom's nipples often hurt while nursing. She's quit asking on her own and I want to respect that. I don't want to push it if she's truely done. I just didn't know it'd hurt so much. A big part of our relationship is being renegotiated now. She's suddenly more independant as well and while it fills me up to see her carry on a conversation with someone else or run off with her buddies or another momma during our co-op preschool class, it also hurts a bit. I'm depressed and I feel pathetic. It seems childish or immature. These are things I've wanted for her but now it's hear and it seems too soon. I feel like I'm grieving right now. It's such a bittersweet period and I feel like no one understands.This has brought up a surprising revelation now too--I realize that I've felt pretty confident being the mother to a baby, but am having some true fear and anxiety about being a strong, loving, warm mother to a child. My mom didn't have it in her. She was pretty stern and uninviting. I am not her, I know I'm not but I'm feeling my confidence wane. My dh keeps reminding me that I am a different person, that I've worked hard to become the mother and person I am but I just feel like everything is changing.
Which brings me to my final sad point. My dh and I had talked about starting to "try" for baby #2 after the holidays. January came (I realize it hasn't been long) and I've found I don't want to. I know that's o.k. but I'm seriously suddenly wondering if I'm only meant to mother one child. I always wanted 2 but probably 3 kiddos but I don't know if I can. I feel like it's often difficult to get through the day with one little bug that I can't imagine adding one more to the mix--and and infant at that. My dh and I agree that we're both feeling like we're "finally getting our lives back" and it'll be tough to do it all over again. That being said, I'm finding myself feeling "left out" or "left behind" with each friend that tells me she's pregnant. Does everyone go through this? I LOVED being pregnant the first time and I thought I'd crave being pregnant again. This time it feels like work, something I'll do because I'm supposed to. I just want a "surprise" baby, then I'll be able to stop fretting so. My dh and I feel that our dd needs a sibling. She's such a loving, gentle, sweet girl who just adores babies. More than anything I'd love to have another for her, I just wonder if I'm cut out for it.
Final note/question: Has anyone been through a hormone imbalance/depression after their dc weaned? I wonder if that's what's going on, and if so, what I can do to get through it.
